Su You Yan stared at the boy who had spoken until he began trembling. “Did I do something?” Her voice was cold and indifferent, as though the person moaning a moment earlier had nothing whatsoever to do with her.
“N-No, nothing.” The words had barely left the boy’s mouth when Su You Yan suddenly braced one hand against the lectern. “Ah~~” She folded forward and buried her face against the desk. After a long moment, she lifted her head again. A few loosened strands of hair half-veiled her face, and she bit down on her lower lip with such a painfully restrained expression that everyone watching felt their hearts race.
Ke Bu was genuinely stunned by Su You Yan’s acting. The same Su You Yan who had barely spoken when they first met and always wore that stern, expressionless face could actually act like this? He turned toward Chu Hao Yu, who was already practically drooling. “Looks like our chances of getting the notebook are pretty low.”
“Shut up. I don’t want your voice getting into the recording. Who cares about the notebook anymore? I’m burning this video onto a DVD and preserving it forever.”
At last, Su You Yan spoke into the frozen atmosphere. “Students, your Teacher Ke Bu is suffering from frequent urination, urgency, painful urination, and itching. What should I do?” The room remained completely silent. Su You Yan asked again with stern seriousness, “I asked what I should do. Didn’t you hear me?”
“T-Teacher… maybe you should try Fuyanjie?”
“Idiot! You fail this course.”
“Change your underwear more often,” another boy suggested.
“Are you mocking me?” Su You Yan clamped her thighs together. “Ahh~~ I can’t take it anymore~~ It itches~~ gynecological inflammation~~ ahh~~ I can’t stand it.” Without another word, Su You Yan marched straight to the window and jumped from the second floor. She was probably the first teacher in history to commit suicide because she could no longer tolerate gynecological inflammation. Ying Xiu Jie had already positioned a crash mat below, and as soon as Su You Yan landed safely, the two of them quickly disappeared, leaving only a single object lying on the grass.
The students received quite a shock. Several of the braver boys rushed to the window, only for their faces to turn even paler. One slowly turned around and announced in a trembling, disbelieving voice, “T-Teacher Ke Bu… turned… turned into a bottle of Fuyanjie.” Lying on the lawn was an enormous human-sized bottle of the feminine hygiene wash, specially made by Zhang Luo and dressed in exactly the same clothes Su You Yan had been wearing.
Watching the students descend into panic, the others outside the classroom nearly collapsed laughing. No wonder these people’s grades never improved. What exactly did they spend all day doing at school?
Ke Bu:
Ke Bu reassured himself that Su You Yan was not particularly vulgar, so surely she would not come up with one of those challenges that made death seem preferable. Compared with this round, however, every challenge they had done before was nothing. These new tasks were terrifying. After watching one person after another sacrifice their reputation, Ke Bu suddenly developed the urge to run for his life when his own turn arrived. Worse, Zhi Li was not around. Even while worrying about himself, Ke Bu could not stop wondering what Zhi Li was doing.
Zhou Xin He was staring at him strangely, while Ying Xiu Jie’s smile was even more sinister than usual. Ke Bu felt a powerful sense of disaster approaching.
“You Yan, the only thing missing from our relationship is an affair. You’re the one woman I can act shamelessly around without worrying about the consequences. Why do we have to turn on each other?”
Su You Yan laughed coldly. “Don’t worry. I’ll make sure to give you special treatment.”
“Please don’t. How about next time I let you sleep between Zhi Li and me?” For the sake of survival, Ke Bu was apparently willing to say anything.
“Sorry. I have no interest in sleeping with children. Stop talking. Come here.”
Ke Bu walked over. Su You Yan leaned close and whispered several sentences into his ear, and Ke Bu’s face changed instantly.
Lazy morning sunlight spilled down as Ke Bu emerged from his dormitory on his way to class looking almost exactly like the usual Ke Bu: neat short hair, a loose shirt, jeans. But there was one enormous difference—his stomach was round and hugely swollen. Supporting his lower back with one hand, Ke Bu struggled down the stairs. Every boy who passed him could not stop staring at his belly. Ke Bu suddenly called to one of the boys ahead. “Hey, classmate. Could you give me a hand?” The boy hesitated, then took Ke Bu’s arm. Ke Bu stroked his belly with the other hand. “Sorry. I’m more than nine months along now, so going downstairs is difficult.”
The boy’s hand trembled. He carefully examined Ke Bu’s chest. Flat. Absolutely flat. Not to mention the fact that they were standing inside the men’s dormitory. Eventually, the boy could no longer suppress his curiosity. “Excuse me… are you a woman?”
“What an unbelievably rude question. Of course I’m a man.”
Then what the hell was that giant belly?! The boy ultimately decided that asking would be too impolite, so Ke Bu continued, “I’m going for my prenatal checkup today. As long as the baby is healthy, that’s all that matters.”
Even after helping Ke Bu all the way downstairs, the boy’s eyes remained glued to the enormous belly. Ke Bu stood outside the dormitory and looked at the students all around him, feeling a headache coming on. Under immense psychological pressure, together with the physical weight of the heavy prop strapped over his stomach, he finally forced himself to walk forward. He tried desperately not to attract attention, only for Chu Hao Yu to spot him from very, very far away, begin waving wildly, and shout at the top of his lungs, “Hey, Ke Bu! You finally got pregnant!”
“Yeah. You can’t rush these things. I used to calculate my ovulation period every month, but nothing ever happened. Then I finally decided to stop worrying about it, and who would’ve thought…” Ke Bu forced a smile onto his face.
From far away, Chu Hao Yu clasped his hands together. “Congratulations, congratulations! Come on, let me take a photo and send it to the baby’s father. Give him a surprise!”
Everyone’s gaze bounced back and forth between them, though most of it remained fixed on Ke Bu’s stomach. Still standing a ridiculous distance away, Chu Hao Yu shouted, “The baby’s father says he always wore condoms, so it isn’t his!”
“Hahaha~~” Ke Bu laughed dryly. He wanted to tear the fake stomach off and use it to beat Chu Hao Yu to death, while cursing Zhi Li for good measure.
He eventually reached the cafeteria and sat down. “Don’t kick me. Be good and stay still.” He placed both hands over his belly, doing his best to ignore the burning stares around him. From far away, Ying Xiu Jie called, “Hey, Ke Bu! Hard work really does pay off! You actually managed to get pregnant!”
Why did so many people suddenly decide to make guest appearances during his challenge? And why were they all standing ridiculously far away and yelling his name at the top of their lungs?!
“It’s nothing, nothing. Hardly worth mentioning.”
Ying Xiu Jie walked over and kicked the person beside Ke Bu’s seat. “Can’t you see there’s a pregnant woman here? Move. Come on, Ke Bu, don’t squeeze your stomach. Ke Bu, are you okay? You look pale. Ke Bu, be careful. Ke Bu. Ke Bu, what’s wrong? Ke Bu?”
Exactly how many times did this bastard have to say his name before he was satisfied? Was he determined to make every person in the cafeteria remember who Ke Bu was? Ke Bu continued smiling pleasantly. “I’m fine. The baby just kicked me. Honestly, he takes after his father—so mischievous.”
“Oh, Ke Bu, you’re pregnant.” Another loud voice joined them. Zhang Luo appeared. “How did you manage it? Share your experience with everyone.”
“Let’s not discuss something like that. Why, are you interested in getting pregnant too?”
“Not particularly.” Zhang Luo walked over and stroked Ke Bu’s belly. “Wow. This texture is really soft.”
“I have you to thank for that,” Ke Bu replied through clenched teeth.
“So how does pregnancy feel?”
“It’s fine,” Ke Bu muttered.
Ying Xiu Jie cupped a hand around his ear. “What? I couldn’t hear you.”
“I SAID IT’S FINE!! My arms and legs are swollen, my appetite hasn’t been very good lately, and the contractions have been getting more frequent. I’m a little worried the baby might come early,” Ke Bu said with genuine-looking concern. Then came yet another instance of recycled challenge props. Ke Bu pressed something with one hand, and a gush of liquid spilled out. His face twisted in agony. “Oh no! My water broke! I’m going into labor! It hurts! Hurry, I can’t take it anymore! The baby’s coming!”
Ke Bu threw his head backward dramatically, and from that upside-down angle, he saw Zhi Li standing behind him in a blue shirt and dark jeans. No matter the angle, that face remained flawlessly beautiful. When had he returned? When had he appeared? Ke Bu completely forgot what expression he was supposed to be making. Zhi Li watched the entire farce with cold eyes for a long moment before giving a disdainful snort. “You bastard. You won’t go to class properly, but somehow you’ve got time to get pregnant.”
“…………….!!!”
Somehow, there was something profoundly wrong with that accusation.
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