Xiao Ma of Team B in the Major Crimes Unit had the full name Ma Fei Hong.
After three years in the Major Crimes Unit, the person he admired most was Boss, followed by Sister Xi Xi.
Ma Fei Hong was big, burly, and powerfully built. With his excellent fighting skills, he lorded it over Team B; the only people on the entire team he could not beat were Boss and Sister Xi Xi.
Team B also had several junior members, including Big Scarhead, Xiao Lian, Jiao Mei, White Chicken, and Cat Head. There was also a seasoned old hand nearing retirement, nicknamed Papa Sha. In his youth, he too had been a formidable fighter, but age had left his legs less nimble, so these days all he did was drink tea and read the newspaper in the office.
Later, Ma Fei Hong discovered that he could not beat Old He from the Forensic Department either.
Later still, he discovered that he could not even beat Xiao He…
That was just too damaging to his pride…
Ma Fei Hong signed up at a boxing gym and began climbing into the ring after work every day, sweating profusely and releasing his masculine hormones.
Gradually, he even acquired a crowd of devoted fanboys at the gym, who called out “Brother Ma” this and “Brother Ma” that every day.
Brother Ma did not care about fanboys. He only wanted a fangirl. He was sick of seeing stinky men every single day.
Then, finally, one day, the boxing gym got a new coach.
A pair of alluring eyes full of feeling, beautiful enough to belong to a movie star; a high ponytail; tight training clothes; two large, full breasts bouncing up and down with every movement—Ma Fei Hong could not tear his eyes away.
The coach was from Thailand and still could not speak Chinese very fluently. The name given during the introduction was Susin.
Susin. Ah, even the name sounded beautiful and pure.
Ma Fei Hong immediately jumped into the ring, intending to ask Coach Susin out for coffee—no, for kung fu tea.
Elio’s Notes: Gongfu tea is a traditional Chinese style of tea preparation. “Kung fu tea” preserves the joke here because Ma Fei Hong is standing in a boxing ring thinking about martial arts.
Coach Susin mistook him for someone who had climbed into the ring to spar and swept him straight off the platform with one kick. His face struck the edge of the ring steps, leaving a long scar.
Ma Fei Hong’s handsome face was ruined just like that, and he gained another manly badge of honor: a long scar slanting across the left side of his face.
Huh? Why did I say “another”?
Coach Susin felt deeply guilty and uneasy about disfiguring Ma Fei Hong and took the initiative to invite him out for curry rice and tom yum soup.
Ma Fei Hong felt as though he were floating among the clouds, practically ascending to immortality.
They ate so much that it was difficult to digest, so Coach Susin invited Ma Fei Hong back to the gym to “exercise a little.”
Late at night, the boxing gym was completely empty. Smiling sweetly, the coach took Ma Fei Hong by the hand, led him into the ring, and offered him some “1-to-1 private teaching.”
Ma Fei Hong floated toward immortality… immortal… immortal…
Why does the fairy have something bigger than mine after taking off her pants—?!!!
So those were pecs—?!!! Weren’t those breasts—?!! Where did the breasts go again—?!!!
Huh? Why did I say “again”?
Deep into the night, Ma Fei Hong’s screams and wails echoed through the boxing gym.
The next morning, Ma Fei Hong, who had been thoroughly “loved” by the fairy until he resembled a tattered rag doll, sat curled in one corner of the ring, wrapped in torn clothing and quietly sobbing.
Coach Susin: “%……&**（） #￥%￥……。”
Ma Fei Hong cried hoarsely, “I can’t understand you, you foreign scammer!!”
Coach Susin: “Sweetheart, don’t cry. I will take responsibility.”
Ma Fei Hong: “I don’t understand English either!”
Coach Susin: “BB? Black pineapple?”
Elio’s Notes: “BB” means “baby.” “Black pineapple” is an internet sound-alike joke for the Cantonese phrase “I like you.”
Ma Fei Hong burst into tears. “Aii…”
And from then on, he finally had his one and only “fangirl.” Congratulations indeed.
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