Boss Xia led the several hundred men under Xiao Qi Hall in suppressing Fat Seven and his ilk wherever they went. New establishments sprang up everywhere, and business flourished throughout the year. At year’s end, Cui Dong Dong, who managed the accounts, tallied the books and found that everyone—from the Boss down to the lowest lackey—had made a fortune. On Christmas Eve, Xia Liu Yi booked out his own nightclub for a grand celebration, inviting all the elders and dozens of prominent brothers. Red envelopes were distributed generously, and everyone partied through the night.
He was a sharp-eyed boss with a ruthless heart and merciless hands. Toward outsiders, he acted boldly and decisively, fighting viciously and raking in profits; within the organization, however, he took an approachable, man-of-the-people route, behaving with great generosity and easygoing familiarity. Alternating between cash rewards and the cudgel, he kept every faction thoroughly obedient, all of them looking solely to him as their Dragon Head. The elders were highly pleased with his performance. Once the thick red envelopes reached their hands, they all praised him without end.
Only Uncle Qiu, the youngest and relatively least senior of the elders, quietly offered him a few private words while toasting him. “Xiao Liu, you’ve made too many enemies. It’s best to remain cautious. Fat Seven has spent decades in the underworld, after all. Anyone capable of holding his current position should not be underestimated.”
Xia Liu Yi laughed heartily, raised his glass, and thanked him loudly. “May Uncle Qiu’s auspicious words come true! The Society will enjoy smooth sailing and achieve great things in the coming year!”
He tilted his head back and drained the glass, then lowered his voice. “Uncle Qiu, thank you. Xiao Liu is still young and ignorant. I’ll need you to look after me in the future.”
After exchanging toasts with every elder in turn, he was surrounded in the middle of the hall by a crowd of subordinates, like the moon encircled by stars, as everyone rushed to lavish him with praise. Serving as master of ceremonies onstage, Xiao Ma launched into a grand speech. “I want to thank the Society, thank the Boss, thank all the elders, and thank every brother and sister here for giving me, Xiao Ma, this opportunity to turn over a new leaf and become a better man—no, wait! To serve as a manager and help our branch grow and prosper… Everything I have achieved today is inseparable from the Boss, who cultivated and promoted me! Our Boss is straightforward and generous and hates empty formalities more than anything! So we shouldn’t waste time on empty formalities either—I propose that every single person here offer the Boss a separate toast!”
Trapped beneath the stage, Xia Liu Yi’s face turned green. He threw down his glass and started climbing up to beat someone—one glass from every person?! You bastard, are you trying to drink me to death?!
Xiao Ma dropped the microphone and fled for his life, not forgetting to shout at the top of his lungs, “Brothers! The Boss is right here! Seize your chance and get him!”
Before Xia Liu Yi could catch so much as the corner of his clothes, he was swallowed by the surging crowd and their drinks.
“Boss, Boss! Come on, let me toast you!”
“Fill the Boss’s glass! Fill it up! Don’t worry—our Boss can drink a thousand cups without getting drunk!”
“May the Boss enjoy fortune as vast as heaven! Long live the Boss!”
“Boss, you’re my idol!”
“Boss, my wife wants an autographed photograph of you! If I don’t bring one home, she won’t let me through the door tonight! Boss, have mercy…”
“Fuck! Stop pulling my clothes! Quit groping me! Are you here to offer drinks or molest me?! Get lost! Get lost, get lost, get lost—!”
On one side, Boss Xia fought alone against dozens of large men amid a crowded, chaotic spectacle too painful to behold. At the elders’ table on the other side, however, everything remained peaceful and harmonious. The Society’s senior members came forward one after another to offer toasts. Cui Dong Dong, her hair combed smoothly back and her features strikingly handsome, held a wineglass as she chatted and laughed with Uncle Yuan.
“Lass, you’ve worked hard this past year.”
“You flatter me. It wasn’t hard at all.”
“How has Pao-zai performed under you?”
“He’s clever and sensible. Very promising.”
…
The celebration reached its climax amid singing, dancing, laughter, and uproar. Onstage, a striptease star shook her backside relentlessly to the lively music. Every time she removed another piece of clothing, the Boss was required to drink another glass. The heroes below enthusiastically approved and wandered around with bottles in hand searching for him. Huh? Where was the Boss? Where was he? A few of you were just lifting him up and throwing him into the air! Where the hell did you throw him?
Smiling warmly, Cui Dong Dong excused herself from several brothers and slipped out of the ballroom under the pretense of visiting the restroom. The moment she entered, she discovered one of her subordinates bent over a toilet, vomiting violently.
“Hey, this is the ladies’ room! If you’re going to puke, do it next door!” Cui Dong Dong kicked him in disgust.
The brother looked at her blearily, then glanced around at the room’s furnishings. After puzzling over it in utter confusion for a long time, he said, “No mistake—this is the men’s room. Brother Dong Dong, aren’t you yourself also… Ahhh! Sister Dong Dong, I was wrong! I was wrong! Spare me! Ahhhhhh!”
Smack! Smack! Smack! Smack! Smack! Smack!
Five minutes later, Cui Dong Dong calmly set down the rubber toilet plunger she had snapped in half, seized the boy—whose face had been beaten into that of a pig—by the collar, and threw him out of the restroom.
Another five minutes later, she emerged with her appearance restored, her hairstyle glossy and her suit perfectly straight. Without even glancing at the ballroom, which had transformed into an earthly Asura battlefield, she took the staff passage directly to the general manager’s office on the second floor.
Xia Liu Yi lay shirtless and spread-eagled across her sofa. A jacket and dress shirt, both nearly torn into strips, had been discarded at his feet. A wrinkled wet towel covered his face.
“Fucking bunch of bastards… Lock the doors and set the place on fire. Burn every last one of them…” Hearing Cui Dong Dong enter, he cursed weakly. “Pour me some water…”
Cui Dong Dong opened a cabinet and poured him a glass of red wine. Xia Liu Yi slowly sat up, but the moment he saw the glass, his face turned green. “Fuck, I’m already about to puke from drinking! You still want me to drink more?!”
“That’s all there is. If you want something else, go downstairs and get it yourself.”
Xia Liu Yi slapped the towel back over his face and fell straight down again. “Go ahead and watch me die! No loyalty, no conscience…”
“All right, all right. You’re far too old to be acting spoiled.” Cui Dong Dong pressed the internal telephone. “Two iced lemon teas and two bowls of wonton noodles.”
Only after a waiter delivered the food and drinks did Xia Liu Yi crawl upright and gulp down half a glass of lemon tea. At last possessing enough strength to retaliate, he said, “Fuck your mother. When was I acting spoiled?”
Smoking a cigar while stirring her noodles with her chopsticks, Cui Dong Dong replied casually, “My mother died a long time ago. More than ten years ago, on this very night. She contracted syphilis and couldn’t afford treatment.”
Since Xia Liu Yi had just as poor an opinion of his biological parents as she did of hers, he offered sincere consolation. “Served her right! Fucking bitch gave birth to you but never raised you, then sold you to a pervert when you were eight.”
“I was only reminding you not to fuck her. She had syphilis.”
“…”
The two unfortunate bosses who had never enjoyed a childhood sat together on the sofa, slurping down a large bowl of noodles each with their lemon tea. At last, their stomachs were full—they had both been starving after entertaining people downstairs. Once fed and watered, they began picking their teeth with toothpicks and discussing serious business.
“What did Uncle Yuan want with you?” Xia Liu Yi leaned lazily against the sofa.
“He wants to promote Pao-zai to White Paper Fan,” Cui Dong Dong said. “I think he still doesn’t trust the way we handle things and wants to plant a few more eyes around us.”
Xia Liu Yi sneered. “Doesn’t trust us? Then he can come do it himself. He’s already so old, yet he still fucking insists on ordering everyone around!”
“I don’t think he has any ulterior motives. He’s simply worried that you’ll bring down the Society and damage the elders’ interests along with it. After all, your conflict with Fat Seven has grown rather serious lately. He also heard that Fat Seven and Sha Jia Jun invited several other underworld bosses to dinner. We still don’t know what the other gangs think. If they really join forces against us, it will be difficult to handle.”
Exerting vicious force with his fingers, Xia Liu Yi slowly crushed his cigarette into shreds, though his expression remained perfectly calm. “I am definitely going to kill Fat Seven. It’s only a question of sooner or later. I know how to handle everything else. Those old men are shortsighted and cowardly. No wonder they’ve never accomplished anything great.”
Cui Dong Dong laughed. “Good. I can’t stand Fat Seven either. I’ll placate the elders. But what do you think about the Red Pole Elder Ge planted among us? That brat has caused quite a few incidents lately. It looks as though he’s trying to earn merit.”
“Let him,” Xia Liu Yi said. “The next time we attack Fat Seven, make him the vanguard.”
Cui Dong Dong smiled again around her cigarette, immediately understanding his meaning.
“Fat Seven and the elders aren’t the problem,” Xia Liu Yi said. “It’s the cops who are troubling me.”
“What happened?”
“Last month, when we handed out red envelopes, a newly transferred inspector refused to accept one.”
“If he won’t accept it, force him to. Throw a petrol bomb into his courtyard. It’s not as though we haven’t done that before,” Cui Dong Dong said.
“This one can’t be handled so openly,” Xia Liu Yi said. “He’s the Deputy Commissioner of Police’s nephew. His backing is powerful, and he’s proud. Even Inspector Hua couldn’t persuade him.”
“Oh? What’s his rank?”
“Probationary Inspector. Nothing important. But Inspector Hua is retiring next year, and no one knows who will succeed him. I’m worried there may be complications.”
“Inspector Hua” was merely the respectful name used for him by members of the underworld. In truth, he was a Chief Inspector in Kowloon East. For many years, he had accepted red envelopes from every direction and shown devoted concern for his underworld brothers, blessing everyone with rolling wealth. Now that the old gentleman was preparing to wash his hands of everything and depart, countless bosses had begun losing sleep and falling ill from longing.
Xia Liu Yi and Cui Dong Dong—the wolf and the jackal—sat at opposite ends of the sofa, staring at the scraps left in their two noodle bowls as each pondered briefly. After exchanging a stream of whispered discussion, they made their decision and finalized the plan. Their wicked scheme was complete.
Several days later, the round-faced young singer under Cui Dong Dong’s protection transformed into her “cousin,” who had emigrated to America and returned to Hong Kong to visit relatives. Newly arrived and unfamiliar with the city, she encountered hooligans attempting to assault her outside a bar. Fortunately, a Probationary Inspector passing by after work stepped forward to uphold justice and heroically rescued the beauty, creating a celebrated romantic tale. As for how the tale later came true—how the young inspector and the “cousin” gradually developed feelings, spent the night together, and were caught in the act by the “husband” who had supposedly rushed back from America; how he and his men beat and humiliated the inspector, took compromising photographs, and used them for blackmail… that was a later story the author was too lazy to recount in detail.
Let us return instead to He Chu San, one of the protagonists who had briefly disappeared during the several thousand words above. Early the following morning, because it was Christmas Day and he did not need to attend his internship or part-time job, he arrived at school with his little backpack and dropped several books he needed to return into the library’s holiday book-return box. Then he carried two bowls of fish balls over to the closed billiards hall and squatted outside to wait.
Near noon, Xia Liu Yi finally drove over alone. Yawning, he raised the billiards hall’s metal shutter and let him inside. “When did you get here?”
Having already eaten both bowls of fish balls himself, He Chu San replied gloomily, “This morning. I waited for you for three hours.”
“Did I tell you to come this early?” Xia Liu Yi opened the refrigerator, found a can of cola, and tossed it to him.
He Chu San lowered his head and picked at the cola’s pull tab, grievance coloring his voice. “You said morning.”
“As long as I haven’t eaten lunch, it’s still morning to your Brother Liu Yi.” Xia Liu Yi poked his unreceptive forehead with a cue stick. The brat had actually expected his Boss to wake up early!
“Put down your backpack. We’ll go eat first.” Xia Liu Yi swung the cue and tapped the little backpack he had not seen for so long. “When we return, I’ll teach you how to put side spin on the ball.”
They lowered the shutter and walked shoulder to shoulder toward a nearby cha chaan teng, chatting as they went. “Are you an idiot? You stood around waiting stupidly for three hours? Couldn’t you call me? Tsk, you don’t have a phone. Brother Liu Yi will give you a mobile phone. Come collect it yourself tomorrow.”
“I…”
“If you dare say again that you won’t spend a gangster’s money, I’ll make you stand beside me and watch while I eat!”
“I was going to say that the company will issue me one next month.”
“Your boss likes you that much? Does he want to keep you as his pretty boy?”
“Everyone in my position receives one. It makes contacting clients easier.”
“Well, haven’t you become impressive, A’San? You’re an elite now? Everyone gets a mobile phone? Who are you trying to fool?”
“…” He Chu San sighed helplessly, wearing an expression that clearly said, Believe it or don’t.
Xia Liu Yi could not stand that prematurely old and weary manner of his. He raised a hand and smacked him on the head before changing the subject. “How was Christmas Eve last night? Did you celebrate with your dad?”
“Dad said it was a foreign devils’ holiday, so he doesn’t celebrate it.”
“…”
“Brother Liu Yi, will you come to my house for Spring Festival? Dad agreed too. I’ll make char siu dumplings for you.”
“Fuck, why would I leave my own home and go to yours? And why the hell do I need your dad’s permission?!”
“I asked Brother Xiao Ma. He said he’s returning to his hometown in Guangzhou for New Year. Sister Dong Dong is going to Thailand with her girlfriend. They both entrusted you to my care.”
“…” Take care of my ass! Bunch of disloyal bastards!
“Come with me, Brother Liu Yi?”
“…Hmph.”
The two ate a simple meal, bought a bag of egg waffles, and slowly walked back while eating. Once the metal shutter had been lowered, He Chu San familiarly cleared the table and arranged the balls. Then, just in case, he asked, “You won’t call another pretty girl over, will you?”
Xia Liu Yi sat in the boss’s chair beside the table with his legs spread wide, eating egg waffles. “Like hell! Taking one of the top girls from Cui Dong Dong’s club outside costs two thousand dollars a time. Even the Boss gets no discount! You wasted two thousand of my dollars last time, and I still haven’t settled the account with you!”
With his back to Xia Liu Yi as he arranged the table, the little bastard actually began shaking his shoulders again as he suppressed his laughter. Xia Liu Yi’s temper flared at the sight, and he raised one long leg and kicked him in the backside.
Bearing the footprint on his bottom, He Chu San leaned across the table and stuck his ass up. Turning his head with almost indescribable allure, he looked at Xia Liu Yi. “Brother Liu Yi, you said you would teach me side spin. Come on.”
He’s fucking begging to get screwed! No, wait—ptui!
I don’t want to screw him! While denouncing the thought, Xia Liu Yi threw aside the bag of egg waffles and walked over, entirely unaware that his own pose was now equally alluring. He stuck out his ass. “Watch carefully!”
He Chu San’s gaze involuntarily followed the curve of his waist backward until it reached the firm, rounded buttocks at the end. Then he secretly swallowed.
“Mhm. I’m watching carefully.”
On a holiday like this, white-bearded old men hung throughout the streets and alleys. Restaurants and shopping centers overflowed with crowds eating, drinking, and shopping. Couples queued in long lines at attractions and amusement parks. Everywhere was bustling, noisy, and chaotic. Yet these two lowered the shutter, set down their colas, and hid from all worldly distractions inside the tiny shop, playing billiards throughout the afternoon.
After enduring Xia Liu Yi’s torment for more than a year, He Chu San’s skills had improved considerably. Xia Liu Yi could not exert proper strength with his right hand, so his dazzling, arrogant techniques occasionally failed him. The two battled fiercely for a long time, and in the end, Xia Liu Yi unprecedentedly lost by several dozen points.
Boss Xia threw aside his cue and openly attempted to renege. “It’s time for dinner. Come on, I’ll take you out for Western food.”
“We agreed that whoever lost would cook,” He Chu San said. “At this hour, there won’t be any seats left in the Western restaurants.”
“I only know how to cook noodles! After playing billiards all afternoon, we’re supposed to eat nothing but a bowl of noodles?”
“You cook the noodles. I’ll make salt-baked chicken and turnip cake. All right?”
“You know how to make salt-baked chicken?”
“Aunt Hua taught me several times.”
Boss Xia continued attempting to renege. “Salt-baked chicken tastes better with rice.”
He Chu San blinked. “Brother Liu Yi, are you going back on your word?”
Xia Liu Yi’s face alternated between green and white. “…Go get your backpack!”
They entered the car one after the other. He Chu San asked in genuine confusion, “Brother Liu Yi, why are you so afraid of cooking?”
“…” Xia Liu Yi mumbled something indistinctly.
“What?”
“When I cooked before, I burned… cough…the stove,” Xia Liu Yi said.
“…” The little fox gave him that complicated, peculiar look again, staring until Xia Liu Yi could barely keep hold of the steering wheel.
“I burned down the house while cooking! I burned down all three floors! The butler and servants all had to jump into the swimming pool! Are you satisfied now?!” Mortified and furious, Xia Liu Yi slammed his fist against the horn.
“…” He Chu San stared at him.
“What the fuck are your shoulders shaking for?! If you’ve got the nerve, laugh out loud!”
“Pfft… Hahahahahahahahahahaha!”
Amid Xia Liu Yi’s enraged roaring, He Chu San buried his face in his backpack and continuously wiped away his tears, laughing until even his abdominal muscles began to cramp.
Indeed, this was a catastrophic brat who broke a leg, burned down a house, or hacked both himself and other people bloody whenever he had nothing better to do. His destructive power surpassed that of a meteorite. The patience and perseverance required for Boss Azure Dragon to raise him could never be underestimated. Looking back upon more than a decade of hardship and turmoil was simply too painful to bear.
At this point, He Chu San could only offer Azure Dragon detached sympathy. It was not until half an hour later, when he stood inside Xia Liu Yi’s unexpectedly bare two-story village house—which contained nothing beyond the necessary furniture—that he personally experienced Azure Dragon’s suffering.
“Brother Liu Yi, the pot is so small that medium heat is enough!”
“Brother Liu Yi, the water has to boil before you add the noodles! Take them back out first!”
“You don’t need to add oil when boiling noodles!”
“That’s a serving plate! You can’t put it over the flame, Brother Liu Yi!”
“You only need to place the seasoning at the bottom of the bowl! Don’t pour it into the pot! Once you pour it in there, it’ll all disappear! Hey!”
“Hey, your mother! Shut up!”
“…”
One hour later, He Chu San sat at the table. Before him were a fragrant plate of salt-baked chicken, a fragrant plate of turnip cake with shrimp paste, a fragrant plate of blanched greens… and two large, fragrant bowls of white rice.
A stinking, charred-black lump of noodles lay lonely and helpless in the kitchen rubbish bin. Xia Liu Yi sat on the sofa with one leg crossed over the other, smoking and watching television. All that was missing was a sign beside him reading: I told you I don’t know how to cook, idiot!
The idiot He Chu San, who had once naïvely believed that through his tireless efforts he might at least get to eat a bowl of noodles cooked by an underworld boss, sighed like a weary old man. As he arranged the bowls and chopsticks, he said, “Brother Liu Yi, come eat.”
Even after all that, Boss Xia continued criticizing him. The chicken was overcooked, the turnip cake was too salty, and the vegetables… Well, the vegetables were acceptable. Cooking them did not require much skill anyway. The rice was barely edible.
He Chu San sighed and repeatedly nodded. Yes, yes. “I’ll make everything better next time, Brother Liu Yi.”
Xia Liu Yi’s chopsticks paused. Without changing his expression, he glanced sideways at He Chu San. Next time?
“There won’t be a next time,” he said with feigned casualness. “If I want something to eat, can’t I simply go out?”
He Chu San secretly nudged the chicken leg toward him, not daring to place it directly in his bowl. “You always eat outside. It isn’t good for your health.”
“Can’t I hire a cook? What do I need you for?”
He Chu San sighed again and took the hard chicken foot for himself, his face clearly saying, Fine, fine. I know you’re rich.
Xia Liu Yi slapped down his chopsticks. He Chu San immediately lowered his head and gnawed silently on the chicken foot, barely daring to breathe.
The two ate half the chicken in silence. Seeing Xia Liu Yi’s expression gradually soften, He Chu San cautiously poked his head forward and continued, “Brother Liu Yi, do you have anything to do after dinner?”
“Hmm?”
“A new film came out over Christmas—Days of Being Wild. May I treat you to the cinema?”
“Did your school give you complimentary tickets again?”
“I got paid on the fifteenth,” the perpetually broke He Chu San said.
“…Hmph.”
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