On Sunday night, He Chu San looked at his class schedule and only then discovered that the day they were going to watch the movie next Friday was June 1st, the underworld boss’s Children’s Day.
Before going to sleep, Father He went out to use the toilet and heard the sound of coins clattering as his son counted them in his room.
Father He sighed emotionally in his heart for a while—truly worthy of being my son; no matter how poor he is, it still doesn’t delay him from chasing girls!
That Friday afternoon, He Chu San carried his little schoolbag on his back and held a small paper box with a plain exterior as he arrived early at the entrance of the billiards room.
Manager Ma, acting under the boss’s orders, was personally waiting there in a car, and when he saw He Chu San come over, he beeped the horn.
“Have lunch yet?” Xiao Ma asked him.
“Hello, Brother Xiao Ma,” He Chu San said as he got into the back seat. “I ate.”
So Xiao Ma drove him back to headquarters, looking him over through the rearview mirror while turning the steering wheel, truly unable to see through that seemingly innocent face of his.
“Almost graduating?” Xiao Ma asked.
“Mm, next year.”
“What line of work are you planning to go into?”
“I’m studying finance.”
“Top student. I heard Boss wants to have you take charge of several billiards rooms. You won’t agree?”
“Mm. I don’t know how to manage people.”
Xiao Ma snorted. “If you don’t know, then learn!”
He Chu San held the paper box obediently. “I’m dumb. I only know how to study.”
In his heart, Xiao Ma snorted again. Fucking hell, he really knows how to pretend! He clearly knows Boss wants to pull him into the company to help with the finances, and yet he refuses so cleanly!
The two of them, each harboring their own thoughts, arrived at the company and went directly into the large conference hall below the executive office.
Once they went in, they saw that the conference table in the center had been dismantled and piled to one side. Xia Liu Yi wore sunglasses and had a cigarette between his lips, one leg crossed over the other, sitting right in the center with an air of acting like somebody important. Apart from him, there were also his two bodyguards, A’Yong and A’Biao, as well as Cui Dong Dong and a young woman with a plump, chubby face.
Hearing He Chu San and Xiao Ma’s footsteps, Xia Liu Yi waved his hand with full domineering flair. A’Yong immediately stood up and pulled down the floor-to-ceiling window covering, then pressed the remote control. The lights hit the opposite wall, and with a swish, a large sheet of white light appeared!
—Xia Liu Yi had someone set up a large white cloth there, set out a projector, and place two big speakers: a private luxury cinema!
He had even issued each person a Hawaiian lounge chair, a bowl of fish balls, a bowl of siu mai, a bag of popcorn, and a packet of potato chips. Cigarettes and beer could be taken freely.
He Chu San was shocked by this whole setup. Dazed, he was carried by Xiao Ma to the lounge chair beside Xia Liu Yi and settled there, then dazedly looked at Xia Liu Yi, who was dark as anything yet still wearing sunglasses to act cool. “Brother Liu Yi, what are we watching?”
Xia Liu Yi sat up, unhurriedly took off his sunglasses, and raised his brows with a damnably cocky air. “The Godfather. Isn’t it just the Mandarin dub? I sent people to Guangzhou and bought all three parts. Today, you lot are accompanying me for the holiday, and none of you are allowed to leave until we’ve watched them all!”
“…” He Chu San.
“Letting you brat know that this is what the fuck you call watching a movie!” Xia Liu Yi lay back comfortably in his chair, pinched out his cigarette and tossed it aside, then casually skewered a fish ball and ate it.
“…” He Chu San, thoroughly conquered by his kingly, bastardly aura.
The movie had already started playing. By the faint white light, Xia Liu Yi tilted his head and saw the small paper box He Chu San had placed on the tea table, then casually said, “What’s this?”
University Student He said somewhat shyly in a low voice, “A birthday present.”
Xia Liu Yi gave a scoff, with an expression that said, You brat actually know how to give a present, and said carelessly, “Leave it there. I’ll open it tonight when we go drinking at the nightclub.”
“I have to go back early tonight…” Under his glare, He Chu San swallowed the word “home” back down.
—For the sake of his birthday, don’t go against him. He A’San thus comforted himself.
“Fucking hell, every time it’s soft doesn’t work and only hard does. You won’t behave unless I beat you. What the hell are you?” Xia Liu Yi cursed him.
“Boss, we’re watching a movie here! Can you two go flirt and bicker upstairs in the office?” Cui Dong Dong said impatiently, hugging that round-faced little songstress of hers.
Xia Liu Yi casually threw the bamboo skewer from the fish ball he had finished eating to hit her, only for her to throw it back at him ferociously.
The first Godfather was three hours, the second Godfather was three and a half hours, and the third Godfather was still three hours; altogether, they added up to nine and a half hours. They watched from two in the afternoon until six, and Cui Dong Dong really could not hold out anymore. She watched until she felt sick, then pulled her little songstress along and escaped by pretending to go to the bathroom. The remaining grown men could not even escape by pretending to pee. The moment Boss Xia raised his brows, none of them dared move their asses…
A group of people accompanied Boss Xia in misery and continued watching until eight-thirty at night. When the second part finished and they saw that Xia Liu Yi was about to direct them to play the third part, Xiao Ma sacrificed himself for everyone, launching himself forward, kneeling on the ground, and hugging Xia Liu Yi’s thigh. “Boss! We really can’t hold on anymore! Let’s stop watching! The girls at the nightclub are still waiting for us!”
He Chu San had already curled up in his chair in the dark and started dozing off. Frightened by Xiao Ma like this, he squinted his eyes and looked over in a daze.
Xia Liu Yi himself was also somewhat dizzy and seeing stars, so he could only wave his hand impatiently. “Get lost, get lost, all of you get lost!”
Xiao Ma wept tears of joy and led the dizzy-headed A’Yong and A’Biao downstairs to get the car. He Chu San scrambled up in one roll, carrying his little schoolbag on his back and wanting to slip away.
“Come back!”
“Brother Liu Yi, I have to go home and make dinner for Dad.”
“Does he not have hands? Doesn’t know how to make it himself? Come with me to the nightclub! Brother Liu Yi is treating you to a holiday tonight, and I’ll properly let you taste some meat!”
He Chu San shrank his neck. “No need, Brother Liu Yi.”
Xia Liu Yi casually grabbed the strap of his schoolbag and, in the old familiar way, lifted him up. “Cut the crap. Let’s go!”
“There’s really no need, Brother Liu Yi.”
“Shut up!”
“I really don’t want to go, Brother Liu Yi…”
“Shut up!”
“Bro…”
“…” Glare.
He Chu San said weakly, “Can we not taste meat and not drink? I’ll just go accompany you to celebrate your birthday.”
…
Two hours later, in the bathroom of a luxury private room at the nightclub, He Chu San was vomiting as if he were dying and coming back to life.
“That one’s a complete waste!” Xia Liu Yi cursed him from outside, an escort girl in his arms. “Only two bottles and he’s already done for! What the hell is he!”
Xiao Ma, A’Yong, A’Biao, and Cui Dong Dong each had one or two girls in their arms, all orioles and swallows gathered with snakes and rats in one nest, half drunk and not quite drunk as they sat on the sofa. Xiao Ma, who had drunk the most, had a crimson face as he loudly echoed, “Exactly! What the hell is he!”
Cui Dong Dong had already sent her little songstress home. At this moment, she kissed the pretty girl in her arms and said, “He’s been in there half an hour already. He didn’t die inside, did he?”
“Who cares if he’s dead or not,” Xia Liu Yi said. “Xiao Ma! Keep singing!”
Xiao Ma rose at the sound, grabbed the microphone, opened up his singing voice, and unleashed a round of ghostly howling and wolfish wailing! A’Yong cut open the three-tier nouveau-riche giant cake, and Xia Liu Yi was the first to scoop up a piece and fire it at Cui Dong Dong! Cui Dong Dong launched a swift counterattack, shouting, “Take down Boss and you’ll all be lady bosses!” as she directed the orioles and swallows to attack Xia Liu Yi with cream and boobs! Xia Liu Yi led A’Yong and A’Biao in launching a full assault, following the principle that knocking one down counted as one, and tumbled into a chaotic mess with this army of women on the sofa…
The speakers shook the heavens, under the multicolored lights the demons danced wildly, and Xiao Ma roared Lam Chi Cheung’s A Real Man with a hoarse voice—
Be a real man,
shouldering pain and frustration!
What is charming is this feeling,
who has no sorrowful past!
Separated by only one door, He Chu San pulled a handful of tissues and pressed them over his mouth. Outside, the singing, shouting, laughter, and noise were all tangled together, and his heartbeat also thudded along with the vibrations!
An unprecedented, intense stimulation stabbed painfully at his eardrums. Dizzy and muddle-headed, he sat down leaning against the door, and amid the waves of vertigo, he heard this group of underworld people’s hysterical singing…
Be a real man!
In the end, everyone must die once!
No need to make me talk reason!
A hero may well be a madman!
He Chu San covered his ears and hugged his head, then, dazed and muddled, lowered his head like that and fell asleep.
He did not know how much time had passed when the bathroom door was suddenly pushed inward from outside. In his stupor, He Chu San toppled forward, and his head almost plunged into the toilet.
Xia Liu Yi came in carrying He Chu San’s little schoolbag, quickly reached back to close the door, and locked it. Then he tossed the schoolbag at He Chu San’s feet and walked to the side of the toilet to pee, kicking He Chu San once while feeling for his fly. “Hey, drank yourself to death?”
He Chu San braced himself against the wall and stood up, his vision swimming. Only after pausing for a good while did he say, “No. Not drunk. I threw it all up.”
“Don’t go out,” Xia Liu Yi said. He released water with a loud splatter, zipped up his fly, and walked to the sink to twist on the tap.
Unfortunately, his hand clawed several times through empty air, but he still failed to successfully grab the faucet, so he cursed in extreme irritation, “Fuck!”
Only then did He Chu San realize that this boss, though he looked calm, was actually already quite drunk. He could only go forward and help him twist open the faucet, then grabbed Xia Liu Yi’s paw that was still clawing wildly through empty air, aimed it at the water pipe, and helped him rinse and wash.
Xia Liu Yi was naturally someone whose face did not redden when he drank. There was not much red on his face, but his eyes were already half-squinted and half-closed as he slowly said to him, “Other brothers came outside. Don’t let them see you.”
Outside, the singing was still lively, and one could vaguely hear the voices of quite a few unfamiliar men as well. Xia Liu Yi supported himself on the sink and fell silent for a while, then, as if talking to himself, said again, “One is a Red Pole, one of Elder Ge’s people. One is a Straw Sandal, one of Uncle Yuan’s people. None of them are our own people, and none of them are safe.”
He Chu San saw that he was a little unsteady on his feet, so he stepped forward to support him. “Brother Liu Yi, sit on the toilet and rest for a while.”
Xia Liu Yi waved his hand and shook him off, lowered the toilet lid, and sat down on it shakily by himself. With his wet hand, he wiped his face and said, “If something happens in the future, and I’m not around, Xiao Ma is only enough to protect himself. Don’t look for him. Look for Cui Dong Dong. She can cover you. I brought you here today, so she knows you’re one of us.”
“I won’t have anything happen to me, Brother Liu Yi.”
Xia Liu Yi gave a cold, derisive laugh. “True enough. You’re a fucking little fox, what could happen to you? We’ve known each other this long, and you still won’t bow before the altar. You’re an unraisable little bastard!”
“…” He Chu San had no answer. Lowering his head, he silently looked at the water on his forehead. Those bright little droplets were slowly rolling along the clean, cold lines of his cheeks toward the chin lightly covered in stubble.
Suddenly, urgent knocking came from outside. “Boss? Hurry and come out! The brothers can’t hold it in anymore!”
“You dare rush Boss even when he’s taking a shit? Get lost!” Xia Liu Yi roared.
“We can’t hold it in anymore, Boss! Have mercy!” Outside, that group of drunkards relied on the fact that the law could not punish everyone and desperately scratched at the door there.
Xia Liu Yi supported himself against the wall and stood up, patting He Chu San on the shoulder.
He walked over and pulled open the bathroom door. Before the people outside could clearly see what was inside, he had already kicked out first!
Outside, people screamed miserably and fell all over one another. “Aiya!” “Aiyo!”
Xia Liu Yi reached back and closed the door. He Chu San immediately pressed down the lock, and in his ears, he heard Xia Liu Yi say outside, “The toilet’s clogged. Go next door!”
“Boss must have thrown up on the floor and doesn’t want us to go in and see!”
“Do all of you fucking not want to live?! All of you kneel on the sofa for me and stick your asses up! Dong Dong, get me a rod!”
“Let us pee before you hit us, Boss! Otherwise we’ll pee on the sofa!” “Exactly, Boss!” “Can I pee in the vase? I think this vase looks a lot like a dick!”
“Get lost, get lost!”
Amid that clamor, He Chu San sat down leaning against the bathroom door, reached out and pulled over his little schoolbag, then took out a thick tome.
He rubbed his bleary eyes, lowered his head, and began reading.
…
He Chu San, fully absorbed, finished reading one-third of the thick tome before he suddenly came back to himself and pulled free from the densely packed English letters. Only then did he discover that outside had become relatively quiet, and all he could hear was the bare instrumental accompaniment of the music.
He looked outside through the crack of the door, then put away his book, slung on his schoolbag, and carefully opened the door.
All the forces of Xiao Qi Hall had been completely wiped out, every one of them lying like corpses amid the pool of wine and forest of flesh, scattered this way and that on the floor, the sofas, the cabinets, the television… even on the standing coat rack, one was hanging there, the back of his collar caught on a hook, drunkenly squinting with his toes pointed as he slowly moved his hands and feet like a zombie.
He Chu San carefully stepped over A’Yong and Xiao Ma, who were hugging each other, helped pull A’Biao’s head out of half a watermelon rind, then looked around and did not see Cui Dong Dong—most likely she had bravely retreated at the height of the torrent and escaped halfway by pretending to go pee again.
He walked lightly toward Xia Liu Yi, who was sitting in the center of the sofa. Xia Liu Yi sat upright with his eyes closed, his two long legs spread wide, both hands pressed on his thighs, in the pose of an emperor sitting solemnly upon the dragon throne. Between the fingers of his left hand, there was still a cigarette with a long half-burned column of ash.
He Chu San bent down and carefully wanted to pluck away that cigarette that was about to burn his fingers, when, without warning, Xia Liu Yi opened his mouth and spoke, startling him badly!
“Did I tell you to come out?”
“Brother Liu Yi.” As He Chu San greeted him, he continued boldly prying open his fingers and removing that cigarette of his—it really was about to burn his hand.
When he lifted his head, Xia Liu Yi’s eyes were still half-squinted, his expression calm, making it practically impossible to tell whether he had sobered up or gotten even drunker.
“They’re all drunk?” Xia Liu Yi asked.
He Chu San looked around again and confirmed there were no survivors. “Mm.”
“Fuck, a bunch of useless trash,” Xia Liu Yi cursed. “If someone came knocking at this time, they could take out all of us in one pot!”
He Chu San wanted to say, isn’t there still you here? Then he saw Xia Liu Yi straighten his waist, trying to stand up, only to end up sprawling onto the tea table like a bullfrog—“Thud!”
“…”
Silently, He Chu San dug Brother Liu Yi’s face out of the fruit platter that had been smashed into a mushy mess, helped him back onto the sofa, and arranged him once more into the pose of a leader presiding over the hall. Then he pulled out tissues and wiped the old man’s face. “Brother Liu Yi, be careful. Don’t move around.”
“I’m fine!” Xia Liu Yi waved his hand unconcernedly. “Where’s the gift you gave me? Bring it over for me to see.”
“Look at it tomorrow,” He Chu San said, judging that if Xia Liu Yi looked at it in his current state, he would definitely be unable to control himself from cutting someone down.
“Fuck! Bring it here!” Xia Liu Yi cursed with great force, a shred of tissue stuck to the tip of his nose.
He Chu San could only walk away a few steps and dig his carefully wrapped little paper box out from among a pile of half-finished beer bottles.
Xia Liu Yi scratched at it twice without managing to open it. Lifting it with one hand, he shook it lightly and was about to throw it onto the floor.
He Chu San hurriedly rescued it, picked up the cake knife from the table, sliced it open in a few strokes, and presented it to Xia Liu Yi.
Xia Liu Yi squinted his eyes and opened the paper box that had been wrapped up like some precious treasure, then reached in and fumbled around for ages—finally, he only pulled out one greeting card, on which an extremely ugly birthday cake had been drawn.
On it, three words were written very earnestly: “Happy Liu Yi.”
“…”
Xia Liu Yi pinched that thin greeting card and fell silent for a long while, then turned his expressionless face toward He Chu San.
“I wanted to give you a birthday cake this big, but I didn’t have enough money,” He Chu San drooped his head and honestly admitted. “So I’m giving you one made of paper first. When I start working next year, I’ll make it up to you.”
“…”
Xia Liu Yi slowly leaned back against the sofa while pinching that greeting card, closed his eyes for a moment, and took a deep breath beneath the colorful, flashing overhead lights. “He. A’. San. Are you betting that I won’t chop you up?”
He Chu San chuckled softly. “Mm.”
“Mm your mother!” Xia Liu Yi kicked him weakly.
He was angered somewhat sober by He Chu San. Supporting himself on the sofa, he stood up shakily—this time, he stood steady—then casually crumpled the greeting card into a ball and stuffed it into his pants pocket, grabbed the strap of He Chu San’s schoolbag, and said, “Come on. I’ll send you home… Fuck, seeing you annoys me!”
“No need, I can go back by myself…” He Chu San wanted to say.
“How are you going back by yourself at three in the morning? Crawl back?!”
He Chu San was speechless and could only let Xia Liu Yi drag him away. He had originally thought that, at most, Xia Liu Yi would call a late-night taxi and send him back that way. In the end, he was dragged all the way into the parking lot and watched helplessly as Boss Xia shakily pulled open the Benz’s door and sat in the driver’s seat.
—This was worse than crawling back!
“Brother Liu Yi, I’d better call a taxi and send you back first!” He Chu San hurriedly tried to stop him.
“Call my ass! Go outside and see if there are any cars to call! Get in!”
“This really won’t do, Brother Liu Yi. You’re drunk, you can’t drive! Hurry and come out…”
Expressionless, Xia Liu Yi opened the glove compartment, took out a gun, and released the safety. “Are you getting in or not?”
Facing that black muzzle, He Chu San blinked. “You wouldn’t shoot…”
Bang—!
“…me.” He Chu San, drenched in cold sweat, and the hole in the wall behind him.
In He Chu San’s heart, ten thousand fine horses galloped wildly. Holding his little schoolbag, he sat stiff-faced in the passenger seat. The instant Xia Liu Yi stepped on the gas, he already felt that in this life, he would never again have the chance to see his father…
“Brother Liu Yi, red light ahead!”
“Shut up! I know!”
“Brother Liu Yi, here you can only turn right!”
“Shut up! I know!”
“Brother Liu Yi, watch out for the telephone pole!”
“Shut up! I know!”
“There’s someone ahead! Brother Liu Yi!”
“Shut up! I know!”
“We’ve already passed this street three times… Brother Liu Yi…”
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