On Sunday night, while checking his class schedule, He Chu San suddenly realized that the Friday of the coming week—the day they were supposed to watch a movie—fell on June 1st, the Children’s Day of a certain underworld boss.
Before going to bed, Mr. He stepped out to use the toilet and heard the clinking sound of coins being counted in his son’s room.
Mr. He sighed inwardly with emotion—as expected of my son; no matter how poor he is, it never stops him from chasing girls!
That Friday afternoon, He Chu San, carrying his small schoolbag and holding a plain-looking little cardboard box, arrived early at the entrance of the billiards hall.
Manager Ma, acting under the orders of the boss, was already waiting there in person with a car. When he saw He Chu San approach, he honked the horn twice.
“Had lunch yet?” Xiao Ma asked.
“Hello, Brother Ma,” He Chu San said as he climbed into the back seat, “I’ve eaten.”
Xiao Ma then drove him back to the main company. While steering, he kept sizing him up through the rearview mirror, utterly unable to see through that seemingly innocent face.
“About to graduate?” Xiao Ma asked.
“Mm, next year.”
“What line of work are you planning to enter?”
“I’m studying finance.”
“A top student, huh. I heard the Boss wants you to help oversee a few billiards halls. You turned him down?”
“Mm. I’m not good at managing people.”
Xiao Ma let out a scoff. “If you’re not good, then learn!”
He Chu San hugged the cardboard box obediently. “I’m slow. I only know how to study.”
Xiao Ma sneered inwardly again—what a damn good act! He knows full well the Boss wants to rope him into the company to help manage finances, yet he refuses so cleanly!
Each harboring their own hidden thoughts, the two arrived at the company and went straight into the large conference hall beneath the CEO’s office.
Upon entering, they saw that the central conference table had been dismantled and piled to one side. Xia Liu Yi, wearing sunglasses and holding a cigarette between his lips, sat in the middle with one leg crossed over the other, exuding an air of swaggering authority.
Besides him were his two bodyguards, A’Yong and A’Biao, along with Cui Dong Dong and a chubby-faced young woman.
Hearing the footsteps of He Chu San and Xiao Ma, Xia Liu Yi waved his hand with domineering flair. A’Yong immediately stood up, drew down the floor-to-ceiling curtains, and pressed the remote. Lights flashed onto the opposite wall—whoosh, a wide expanse of white brilliance!
—A massive white screen had been set up there. With a projector in place and two large speakers, it was a private luxury cinema!
Each person was even given a Hawaiian-style reclining chair, a bowl of fish balls, a bowl of siu mai, a bag of popcorn, and a pack of fries. Cigarettes and beer were free for the taking.
He Chu San was stunned by the spectacle. In a daze, he was dragged by Xiao Ma and placed onto a recliner beside Xia Liu Yi. Still bewildered, he looked at Xia Liu Yi—who, despite already being dark-skinned, insisted on wearing sunglasses to look cool—and asked, “Brother Liu Yi, what are we watching?”
Xia Liu Yi sat up, leisurely removed his sunglasses, and raised an eyebrow with an arrogant air. “The Godfather. Isn’t it just dubbed in Mandarin? I had people go to Guangzhou to buy all three parts. Today, you lot are celebrating the holiday with me—no one leaves until we’ve finished them all!”
“……” He Chu San.
“I’ll let you brat know—this is what it means to watch a damn movie!” Xia Liu Yi leaned back comfortably, stubbed out his cigarette, and casually popped a fish ball into his mouth.
“……” Completely subdued by his overwhelming tyrannical aura, He Chu San fell silent.
The movie had already started. Under the faint glow of the screen, Xia Liu Yi tilted his head slightly and noticed the small cardboard box on the coffee table beside He Chu San. “What’s that?”
University Student He lowered his voice shyly. “A birthday present.”
Xia Liu Yi snorted, wearing an expression that said so the brat actually knows how to give gifts, and waved it off casually. “Keep it. Open it later tonight at the nightclub while we’re drinking.”
“I have to go home early tonight…” Under Xia Liu Yi’s glare, He Chu San swallowed the word “home.”
—Since it’s his birthday, better not go against him. Thus He “A’San” comforted himself.
“Damn it, you only respond to force and not softness. Gotta beat you before you listen—what the hell kind of thing are you?” Xia Liu Yi cursed.
“Boss, we’re watching a movie here! If you want to flirt and bicker, can you do it upstairs in the office?” Cui Dong Dong said impatiently, hugging her round-faced songstress companion.
Xia Liu Yi casually tossed the leftover fish ball skewer at her, only for her to fiercely throw it right back.
The Godfather Part I was three hours long, Part II three and a half, and Part III another three—nine and a half hours in total. They started watching at two in the afternoon, and by six, Cui Dong Dong couldn’t take it anymore—she nearly threw up, then dragged her young songstress companion away under the excuse of going to the bathroom.
The remaining men didn’t even dare use such an excuse. With a single raise of Xia Liu Yi’s eyebrow, none of them dared budge from their seats…
The group suffered miserably as they continued watching with the boss until 8:30 PM. When the second film finally ended and Xia Liu Yi was about to order the third one to be played, Xiao Ma sacrificed himself for the greater good. With a dramatic leap, he dropped to his knees and hugged Xia Liu Yi’s thigh.
“Boss! I really can’t take it anymore! Let’s stop! The girls at the nightclub are still waiting for us!”
He Chu San, who had curled up in his chair and dozed off in the darkness, was startled awake. Half-lidded and groggy, he looked over.
Xia Liu Yi himself was feeling dizzy and lightheaded, so he waved his hand impatiently. “Scram, scram, all of you, get lost!”
Overjoyed to the point of tears, Xiao Ma hurriedly led the equally dazed A’Yong and A’Biao downstairs to get the car. He Chu San immediately sprang up, slung on his schoolbag, and tried to slip away.
“Get back here!”
“Brother Liu Yi, I need to go home and cook dinner for my dad.”
“Doesn’t he have hands? Can’t he cook himself? Come with me to the nightclub! Brother Liu Yi’s treating you tonight—gonna properly ‘open your horizons’!”
He Chu San shrank his neck. “No need, Brother Liu Yi.”
Xia Liu Yi casually grabbed his schoolbag strap and lifted him up like before. “Cut the crap. Let’s go!”
“Really no need, Brother Liu Yi.”
“Shut up!”
“I really don’t want to go, Brother Liu Yi…”
“Shut up!”
“Bro—”
“……” glare
He Chu San weakly said, “Can I skip the ‘opening horizons’ part and not drink? I’ll just go to celebrate your birthday with you.”
……
Two hours later, inside the restroom of a luxurious private room at the nightclub, He Chu San was vomiting his guts out.
“He’s just trash!” Xia Liu Yi cursed outside, holding a girl hired to drink with him. “Only two bottles and he’s already done for! What the hell!”
Xiao Ma, A’Yong, A’Biao, and Cui Dong Dong each had one or two girls in their arms. Surrounded by flirtatious laughter and half-drunk chaos, they lounged on the sofa. Xiao Ma, the drunkest of them all, his face flushed red, loudly echoed, “Exactly! What the hell!”
Cui Dong Dong had already sent her young songstress companion home. At that moment, she hugged the beauty in her arms and gave her a kiss, saying, “He’s been in there for half an hour… he’s not dead in there, is he?”
“Who cares whether he lives or dies,” Xia Liu Yi said. “Xiao Ma! Keep singing!”
Xiao Ma responded at once, grabbing the microphone and belting it out at the top of his lungs, howling like ghosts and wolves! A’Yong sliced open the three-tiered extravagantly luxurious cake. Xia Liu Yi was the first to scoop up a chunk and launch an attack at Cui Dong Dong! Cui Dong Dong retaliated swiftly, shouting, “Take down the Boss and you’ll all be the big sisters!”, rallying the flock of girls to assault Xia Liu Yi with cream and bouncing chests! Xia Liu Yi led A’Yong and A’Biao in a full-scale counterattack, adhering to the principle of taking down as many as possible, tumbling into a chaotic heap with the “female army” across the sofas…
The speakers roared and shook the room, multicolored lights flashing as demons seemed to dance wildly. Xiao Ma, his voice hoarse, howled Lin Zi Xiang’s “A Truly Manly Man”—
Be a true man,
Bear the burdens of pain and loss!
It is this passion that captivates,
Who has not known sorrowful pasts!
Separated by a single door, He Chu San grabbed a handful of tissues and covered his mouth. Outside, the singing, shouting, and laughter blended into a chaotic din, and his heartbeat thudded in rhythm with it!
The overwhelming stimulation, unlike anything he had ever experienced, pierced his eardrums. Dizzy and muddled, he leaned against the door and slowly slid down to sit, listening through the haze to the hysterical singing of these underworld men…
Be a true man!
In the end, one must die at least once!
No need for reason or explanation!
A hero may well be a madman!
Covering his ears and clutching his head, He Chu San gradually drifted off to sleep in that dazed state.
Who knew how much time had passed when suddenly the restroom door was pushed open from the outside. Still groggy, He Chu San toppled forward, his head nearly plunging into the toilet.
Xia Liu Yi, carrying He Chu San’s small schoolbag, quickly shut the door behind him and locked it. Tossing the bag at He Chu San’s feet, he stepped over to the toilet to relieve himself. While fumbling with his zipper, he kicked He Chu San. “Hey, drank yourself to death?”
Supporting himself against the wall, He Chu San stood up, his vision swimming. After a long pause, he replied, “No… not drunk. I threw it all up.”
“Don’t go out,” Xia Liu Yi said as he finished urinating noisily, zipped up, and walked over to the sink.
Unfortunately, he clawed at the air several times without managing to grab the faucet, finally cursing irritably, “Fuck!”
Only then did He Chu San realize that this seemingly composed boss was actually quite drunk. He stepped forward, turned on the faucet for him, then grabbed Xia Liu Yi’s wandering hand and guided it under the stream of water, helping him rinse.
Xia Liu Yi, who never flushed from drinking, showed little redness on his face, but his eyes were already half-lidded. Slowly, he said, “Some other brothers have come outside. Don’t let them see you.”
The noise outside was still lively, and faintly, unfamiliar male voices could be heard. Xia Liu Yi leaned against the sink in silence for a moment, then added as if speaking to himself, “One’s a Red Pole, one of Old Ge’s men. Another’s a Straw Sandal, one of Uncle Yuan’s. Neither are ours… not reliable.”
Seeing that he was unsteady, He Chu San stepped forward to support him. “Brother Liu Yi, sit on the toilet and rest for a bit.”
Xia Liu Yi waved him off, shook free, flipped down the toilet lid, and sat on it unsteadily. With his wet hand, he wiped his face and said, “If anything ever happens in the future, and I’m not around—Xiao Ma can barely protect himself. Don’t go looking for him. Go to Cui Dong Dong; she can cover for you. I brought you here today—she knows you’re one of ours.”
“I won’t run into trouble, Brother Liu Yi.”
Xia Liu Yi let out a cold snort. “That’s right—you little fox. What trouble could you possibly get into? Known you this long, and you still won’t even ‘tie the knot’—you’re an untrainable bastard!”
“……” He Chu San had no reply. Lowering his head, he quietly watched the droplets of water on Xia Liu Yi’s forehead. Those bright beads slowly slid down along his cool, sharp features, trailing toward his slightly stubbled chin.
Suddenly, urgent knocking came from outside the door. “Boss? Come out already! The brothers can’t hold it anymore!”
“You dare rush me while I’m taking a piss? Get lost!” Xia Liu Yi roared.
“We really can’t hold it, Boss! Have mercy!” The drunkards outside, emboldened by numbers, scratched frantically at the door.
Xia Liu Yi pushed himself up against the wall and patted He Chu San’s shoulder.
He strode over and yanked the door open. Before the people outside could even see inside, he kicked out first!
Cries rang out as bodies tumbled over each other—“Ow!” “Ahh!”
Xia Liu Yi shut the door again. He Chu San immediately locked it, hearing Xia Liu Yi say from outside, “The toilet’s clogged. Use the one next door!”
“Must be the Boss threw up on the floor—doesn’t want us to see!”
“You all got a death wish, huh?! Every one of you, kneel on the sofa with your asses up! Dong Dong, get me a stick!”
“Let us pee first, Boss! Otherwise we’ll piss on the sofa!”
“Yeah, Boss!”
“Can I piss in the flower vase? This vase looks just like a dick!”
“Scram, scram, scram!”
Amid the ruckus, He Chu San slid down to sit against the restroom door. Reaching over, he pulled his schoolbag closer and took out a thick tome.
Rubbing his blurry eyes, he lowered his head and began to read.
……
After immersing himself deeply and finishing a third of the hefty volume, He Chu San suddenly snapped back to awareness, pulling himself out of the dense sea of English letters. Only then did he realize that things outside had quieted considerably, leaving only the bare accompaniment of music.
He peeked out through the crack of the door, then packed up his book, slung his bag over his shoulder, and carefully opened the door.
Every faction of Xiao Qi Hall had been completely wiped out, all lying “dead” amidst a sea of indulgence—sprawled across the floor, sofas, cabinets, even the television… One was even hanging from a coat rack, his collar hooked up, drunkenly swaying on tiptoe like a zombie, slowly waving his limbs.
He Chu San carefully stepped over the entangled forms of A’Yong and Xiao Ma, helped pull A’Biao’s head out from half a watermelon rind, and looked around without spotting Cui Dong Dong—she had likely made a strategic retreat halfway through, slipping away under the excuse of the bathroom.
Moving quietly, he approached Xia Liu Yi, who sat upright in the center of the sofa with his eyes closed, legs spread wide, both hands resting on his thighs—like an emperor seated upon a dragon throne. Between the fingers of his left hand was still a cigarette, its ash burned halfway down.
Bending over, He Chu San carefully reached to remove the cigarette that was about to burn his fingers. Suddenly, Xia Liu Yi spoke, startling him badly!
“Did I tell you to come out?”
“Brother Liu Yi.” As he greeted him, He Chu San gathered his courage, pried open his fingers, and removed the cigarette—it really was about to burn him.
Looking up, he saw that Xia Liu Yi’s eyes were still half-closed, his expression calm—impossible to tell whether he had sobered up or grown even more drunk.
“They all passed out?” Xia Liu Yi asked.
He Chu San glanced around again, confirming there were no “survivors.” “Mm.”
“Damn it, a bunch of useless trash,” Xia Liu Yi cursed. “If someone showed up right now, they could wipe us out in one go!”
He Chu San was about to say but you’re still here, when he saw Xia Liu Yi suddenly try to stand upright—only to flop forward like a bullfrog onto the coffee table with a heavy thud!
“……”
He Chu San said nothing. Silently, he dug his Brother Liu Yi’s face out from the smashed, mushy fruit platter, helped him back onto the sofa, and rearranged him into that “leader holding court” posture again. Then he pulled out some tissues and carefully wiped his face. “Brother Liu Yi, be careful. Don’t move around.”
“I’m fine!” Xia Liu Yi waved him off dismissively. “Where’s the gift you brought? Bring it over—I’ll take a look.”
“Look at it tomorrow,” He Chu San said, judging that in his current state, once he saw it, he’d definitely lose control and start beating people.
“Fuck! Bring it here!” Xia Liu Yi snapped, a bit of tissue stuck to the tip of his nose, yet still brimming with imposing momentum.
He Chu San had no choice but to step away and dig his tightly wrapped little cardboard box out from among the empty beer bottles.
Xia Liu Yi scratched at it a couple of times without success. Holding it up with one hand, he gave it a light shake—then made to toss it onto the ground.
He Chu San hurriedly rescued it, grabbed the cake-cutting knife from the table, and sliced it open in a few swift motions before handing it over to Xia Liu Yi.
Half-squinting, Xia Liu Yi opened the carefully wrapped box and groped around inside for quite a while—only to finally pull out a single greeting card.
On it was drawn an extremely ugly birthday cake.
And beneath it, written with utmost seriousness, were four characters: “Happy Liu Yi”
Elio’s Notes: Translates to Happy 6/1 or Happy Children’s Day.
“……”
Xia Liu Yi held the flimsy card in his hand and fell silent for a long moment. Expressionless, he slowly turned his head to look at He Chu San.
“I wanted to give you a birthday cake that big,” He Chu San lowered his head and honestly admitted, “but I didn’t have enough money. So I’m giving you a paper one first. When I start working next year, I’ll make it up to you.”
“……”
Xia Liu Yi slowly leaned back against the sofa, still holding the card. He closed his eyes briefly, took a deep breath under the flashing, multicolored lights above, and said, word by word, “He… A’San… are you betting that I won’t chop you up?”
He Chu San let out a muffled chuckle. “Mm.”
“‘Mm’ your ass!” Xia Liu Yi kicked him weakly.
Irritated awake by He Chu San, he regained a bit of clarity. Supporting himself on the sofa, he staggered to his feet—this time managing to stand steady. Casually crumpling the card into a ball, he stuffed it into his pocket, then grabbed He Chu San by the strap of his schoolbag.
“Let’s go. I’ll take you home… damn it, just looking at you annoys me!”
“No need, I can go back by myself—” He Chu San tried to say.
“At three in the fucking morning? How are you getting back—crawling?!”
He Chu San was rendered speechless and could only let himself be dragged along. He had assumed Xia Liu Yi would at most call a late-night taxi to send him home. Instead, he was hauled all the way into the parking lot, where he watched in horror as the boss staggered over, yanked open the door of a Mercedes, and climbed into the driver’s seat.
—This might as well be worse than crawling home!
“Brother Liu Yi, let me just call a taxi and send you back first!” He Chu San hurriedly tried to stop him.
“Taxi my ass! Go outside and see if you can even get one! Get your ass in here!”
“This really won’t work, Brother Liu Yi—you’re drunk, you can’t drive! Get out—”
Without a word, Xia Liu Yi opened the glove compartment, pulled out a gun, and flicked off the safety. “Are you getting in or not?”
Staring at the dark muzzle, He Chu San blinked. “You wouldn’t actually shoot me—”
Bang—!
“……with the gun.” Sweating profusely, He Chu San glanced at the hole blasted into the wall behind him.
A thousand galloping horses thundered through his mind. Hugging his schoolbag, face stiff, he climbed into the passenger seat. The moment Xia Liu Yi slammed on the accelerator, he already felt that in this lifetime, he would never see his father again…
“Brother Liu Yi, red light ahead!”
“Shut up! I know!”
“Brother Liu Yi, this is a right turn only!”
“Shut up! I know!”
“Brother Liu Yi, watch the pole!”
“Shut up! I know!”
“There’s a person ahead! Brother Liu Yi!”
“Shut up! I know!”
“We’ve already passed this street three times… Brother Liu Yi…”
“Shut up… let me think how to go…”
Futile Devices Scans 
Leave a comment