Turning back, Nalan Xuan saw that the newcomer had his face concealed by a mask, making it impossible to discern his appearance.
Before he could even react, he felt his body lifted and carried through several swift rises and falls. In the next instant, he was set down safely upon the ground.
The secret pregnancy.
The secret miscarriage.
His body had already been frail to begin with. After the frantic fall just now, every muscle trembled uncontrollably. He gasped desperately for air, drawing deep breaths again and again. His chest rose and fell violently as he struggled to steady himself, yet darkness still swept repeatedly across his vision. Waves of dizziness surged through him, nearly overwhelming his senses.
Suddenly—
A cold touch brushed against his neck.
His body stiffened instinctively.
But almost immediately, he relaxed.
Nalan Xuan knew that what rested against his throat was a blade.
Yet he was equally certain that this blade had no intention of taking his life.
“Are you not afraid that I might kill you?”
A low, unfamiliar male voice sounded from behind him. For some reason, it felt faintly familiar.
“I am already someone meant to die,” Nalan Xuan replied calmly after steadying his breath. Though his voice trembled slightly from weakness, it still carried a natural dignity.
“If you truly wished to kill me, you wouldn’t have gone to such trouble just now. You could simply have stood by and watched me fall.”
“That may not be so,” the man said lightly with a soft laugh.
Clad in tight black garments, he stood relaxed and unhurried.
“In this world, not everyone gets what they wish for,” he continued. “Even death. For instance—though I might also wish you dead, I did not like the way you intended to die. So I saved you… merely to suggest you choose another method.”
At those words, Nalan Xuan turned back without fear.
The sharp blade grazed his pale throat, leaving behind a shocking red line. Fine beads of blood trickled down his neck, staining the moon-white robe he wore in scattered crimson patches.
His dark eyes lifted without hesitation to meet the man’s gaze.
Though hidden within the night, he could vaguely make out those eyes—bright with sharp intelligence, their curved shape carrying the hint of a smile. Something about them overlapped strangely with fragments of memory.
Suddenly a sharp pain burst through his head. His temples throbbed violently, and a powerful wave of dizziness followed.
Nalan Xuan shook his head fiercely, forcing himself to remain clear-minded.
“Then may I ask what advice you have to offer?” he said. “Since Heaven has allowed me to live, there must be a reason I cannot die yet. There must also be something in this world that only I can accomplish.”
“Heaven?” The man chuckled softly.
“Why not say that it was I who spared your life?”
Nalan Xuan shrugged lightly, the corner of his lips lifting into a faint smile.
“If you insist on understanding it that way… I suppose that would also be acceptable.”
Despite the pallor of his face, his beauty remained breathtaking—tinged with sorrow, quiet resignation, and a strange serenity.
After a long silence, the man withdrew his sword.
He removed a bundle from his back and tossed it beside Nalan Xuan before turning to leave.
Nalan Xuan glanced at the small pack and sighed inwardly.
It seemed the man had come well prepared.
“Best leave quickly,” the stranger suddenly said when his figure was nearly swallowed by the night.
Nalan Xuan understood at once.
There were far too many people who wanted him dead. If he did not leave soon, he might never have the chance again.
He turned for one last look at the towering city wall.
In his mind, those furious and piercing eyes seemed still to burn before him.
He told me not to…
He told me to return…
The tone had been as cold and commanding as ever—each sentence rigid and domineering, just like the man himself.
Yet Nalan Xuan had never believed him.
His own resistance.
His doubts.
He had known perfectly well the man’s ruthlessness and suspicion. Yet even so, he had still hoped—until the very last moment—to earn his trust.
Even if that trust had been nothing more than a lie.
Looking back now, everything seemed nothing more than an enormous joke.
A play within a play.
A game whose ending had been predicted from the start.
And the one who chose to enter that game… had been himself.
Time passed like a white colt flashing past a crack in the wall.
Thinking back now, it was all unbearably absurd.
Standing beneath the city wall, Nalan Xuan suddenly threw back his head and laughed wildly.
The laughter poured out as though he were using the strength of his entire life—to vent, to mourn, to chase after those moments that could never return.
Two silent tears slid down from the corners of his eyes.
He did not bother to wipe them away.
His tear-filled gaze lifted toward the moonlight—fragile, heartbreaking, and achingly beautiful.
“I never imagined that our ending would come to this,” he murmured hoarsely after the laughter subsided, breathing heavily as his chest heaved uncontrollably.
“You were not wrong… and neither was I.”
The only mistake was that he had schemed so carefully, calculated every step—
Yet never imagined that he himself would fall into the trap, unable to escape.
Memories long restrained now surged forth like a flood, bursting free at this very moment when his life hung by a thread and his heart had turned to ashes.
If he once resented the man’s distrust and hated his cold indifference…
Then now—
Whom should he blame?
Whom should he resent?
Looking back once more, the city wall—barely five zhang high—felt as distant as another lifetime.
May you reign for ten thousand years,
May your empire enjoy eternal peace.
Three years ago… I should not have reached out my hand.
I should not have forced what was never meant to be.
Three years ago… you should not have turned back.
You should not have dared to hope.
He tried to stand.
But wave after wave of dizziness struck him. Darkness closed in again, and he collapsed heavily to the ground.
Nalan Xuan knew very clearly that he could not fall here.
If he surrendered now, there would be no turning back.
Had he ended his life earlier, perhaps he truly might have found the release he sought.
But now—
All that remained within him was stubborn unwillingness.
Years of exhaustion, illness, and relentless self-sacrifice burst forth at once.
Nalan Xuan refused to accept this fate.
Suddenly, a violent surge rose in his throat.
His consciousness began to fade. Strength drained from his body little by little, like water leaking from a cracked vessel.
⸻
Author’s Note:
The next chapter will begin recounting the tangled love and resentment between Feng Xuanyi and Nalan Xuan.
Futile Devices Scans 
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