Turning back, Nalan Xuan saw that the newcomer’s face was covered, making his appearance impossible to discern. In a daze, he only felt a few rises and falls before he landed safely on the ground.
The secretly conceived child had been secretly lost as well. His body had already been extremely weak to begin with, and the rapid fall moments ago only worsened it. Instinctively trembling, he gasped desperately for air, his chest heaving violently in an attempt to ease the discomfort. Yet darkness still swept repeatedly across his vision, leaving him dizzy beyond endurance.
Suddenly, the cool touch at his neck made his body stiffen—but he quickly relaxed again.
Nalan Xuan knew that pressed against his throat was a blade, but he was equally certain that the blade had no intention of taking his life.
“You’re not afraid I’ll kill you?” A strange, low male voice sounded from behind him. Nalan Xuan found it vaguely familiar.
“I was already someone seeking death. If you truly wanted to kill me, there would have been no need to go through so much trouble just now. You could have simply stood aside and watched coldly.” Nalan Xuan steadied his breathing with calm composure. Though his voice trembled instinctively, it did not lose its dignity.
“That may not necessarily be true. Not everyone in this world gets what they want,” the man dressed in tight black clothing said lightly with a smile. “Including death. For example, although I also wanted you dead, I didn’t particularly like your method of dying, so I saved you and suggest you choose another one instead.”
At those words, Nalan Xuan turned around fearlessly. The sharp blade immediately left a shocking red mark across his pale neck. Tiny beads of blood slid downward onto the moon-white robes, staining them with scattered crimson blotches.
His dark eyes met the gaze hidden within the night without fear. He could vaguely make out the faint glimmer in those sharp eyes, the curved brows and half-smiling expression somehow overlapping with fragments buried deep in his memories. Suddenly, a fierce pain exploded through his head. His temples throbbed violently as an overwhelming wave of dizziness struck him again.
Nalan Xuan shook his head forcefully, trying to preserve some clarity. “Then may I ask what wise advice you have? Since Heaven has allowed me to live, there must naturally be a reason why I cannot die. There must also be things in this world that cannot be accomplished without me!”
“Heaven?” The man chuckled softly. “Why not say that I was the one who spared your life?”
Nalan Xuan shrugged indifferently, a faint smile curling his lips. “If you insist on understanding it that way, I suppose that’s acceptable too.”
On that pale yet devastatingly beautiful face lingered sorrow and desolation, but also a kind of earnest release.
After a long while, the man sheathed his sword, removed the bundle from his back, tossed it beside Nalan Xuan, then turned to leave.
Nalan Xuan glanced at the packed belongings and silently sighed. Truly prepared in advance.
“You’d best leave quickly.” Just as the man’s figure was about to disappear completely into the night, he suddenly threw out one final sentence.
Nalan Xuan naturally understood. There were countless people who wanted him dead. If he did not leave quickly, then even if he wanted to leave later, he no longer would be able to.
Turning back one last time to look at the towering city wall, he could still almost see those deep, furious eyes flashing before him…
He said not to… He told him to return… Still that same cold tone. One command after another—stiff, overbearing, just like the man himself. Yet he still refused to believe him!
His resistance, his doubts… Even knowing Feng Xuanyi’s cold-heartedness and suspicion, he had still desperately wanted his trust at the final moment! Even if it were only a lie…
Looking back now through the vast emptiness, he discovered everything had merely been one enormous joke. A play within a play. A game long foreseen and already scripted from the beginning—and the one who chose to begin it, the one who willingly stepped inside, had been himself!
Time passed like a fleeting white horse through a crack. Looking back now, it all seemed absurd beyond measure.
Beneath the city wall, Nalan Xuan laughed wildly without restraint, as though exhausting every ounce of strength in this lifetime to vent, to mourn, to chase after the past that could never be relived again…
Two lines of tears slid down from the corners of his eyes. Nalan Xuan made no move to wipe them away. His tear-filled eyes reflected the moonlight, fragile enough to shatter, intoxicating enough to entrance, and pitiful enough to stir anyone’s sympathy.
“I never imagined that this would be how things ended between us…” After laughing, Nalan Xuan gasped heavily for breath, his chest trembling violently as he muttered hoarsely, “You were not wrong… nor was I…”
The only mistake was that after calculating every possibility and exhausting every scheme, he had never expected himself to truly fall so deeply that he could no longer escape.
Those memories long freed from their restraints surged forth all at once at this critical moment between life and death, when his heart had already turned to ashes…
If he once hated Feng Xuanyi’s distrust and resented his heartlessness, then now… who should he hate? Who should he blame?…
Turning back to look again, the mere five-zhang-high city wall suddenly felt worlds apart!
May you reign for ten thousand generations and forever enjoy an age of peace and prosperity…
Three years ago, I should never have reached out my hand. I should never have forced fate…
Three years ago, you should never have turned back. You should never have hoped…
Trying to stand, another violent wave of dizziness struck him. Darkness followed close behind, and Nalan Xuan collapsed heavily onto the ground once more. He knew clearly that he could not fall here. If he surrendered now, then there truly would be no hope of salvation left. Had he ended things moments earlier, perhaps he might truly have found the so-called release. But now, all that remained in him was overwhelming unwillingness and obsession.
Years of overwork, illness, and relentless self-exhaustion erupted fully at this moment. Nalan Xuan refused to accept this!
Suddenly, he felt a sweetness surge into his throat. His consciousness gradually blurred, and the strength drained from his body bit by bit like water slipping away…
Author’s Notes: Starting next chapter, we’ll begin recounting the love and grudges between Feng Xuanyi and Nalan Xuan (^o^)/～
Getting hit on by a man on the very first day…
Futile Devices Scans 
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