Shao Wu began working overtime like a madman. First, taking three days off had left a mountain of work waiting for him. Second, he had to find something to occupy himself.
Otherwise, he might simply buy a ticket to Chengdu.
He almost did. On his first day back in Chongqing, he got off work on time. It was five thirty, and the sky was still light. Just as he opened the 12306 railway-ticket app, a student sent him a WeChat message: Teacher, could you help me revise my résumé again?
Shao Wu closed 12306 and replied to her on WeChat: Sure. I’ll send it to you later.
Then he pocketed his phone, leaned against the wall of the light-rail station, and let out a long breath.
He had practically planned the whole journey: reach Chengdu that night, catch the 7:06 high-speed train the next morning, arrive at Chongqing West at 8:30, and just barely make it to work by nine. Being a few minutes late wouldn’t matter.
He wanted to see Yang Shuyi so badly. Who had ever heard of starting a long-distance relationship the moment you got together?
But they would see each other in a few days, and Shao Wu didn’t want to seem overeager… He was afraid of scaring Yang Shuyi.
Thank heaven the student’s message had arrived in time to stop him.
His phone vibrated. It was another text from Yang Shuyi. They had exchanged at least fifty messages that day.
Yang Shuyi: Off work yet?
Shao Wu: Mm, on my way home.
Yang Shuyi: I submitted my resignation today.
Shao Wu: How long will it take?
Yang Shuyi: A week, if everything goes smoothly.
A week.
There were seven days in a week, and that was only if things went smoothly. What if they didn’t?
Shao Wu didn’t ask how much longer it might take otherwise. He merely encouraged himself. If he had endured seventy days, what were another seven?
Besides, they were still in touch all the time.
Yang Shuyi asked again: What are you having for dinner?
There were plenty of restaurants near Shao Wu’s office, and he usually ate before going home. But today he’d been so busy agonizing over whether to buy a ticket that he hadn’t eaten.
Shao Wu: I had malatang.
Yang Shuyi: Now I want some too.
Shao Wu smiled and asked: That place beside Songji Road?
Yang Shuyi: It’s been demolished.
Shao Wu: I know.
Yang Shuyi: Huh?
Shao Wu: The owner went home to help his daughter look after her baby.
Yang Shuyi: How do you know?
Because the owner told me, of course. Shao Wu remembered the year he had visited Yang Shuyi’s family. What had he gone for? Oh, probably during summer break to see Grandma and Longlong. That was… which year was it?
The train arrived, and the crowd swept Shao Wu aboard. A young man beside him wore an oversized black T-shirt, baggy jeans, and a handsome pair of dark-blue Vans. He was on the phone. Shao Wu heard him say in Chongqing dialect, “How should I know? I just got out of class!” His tone was thoroughly impatient.
Shao Wu thought of his own university days. Had they really been three years ago already?
Right. It had been the summer of 2011. Yang Shuyi and Zou Xin had stayed on campus to help a teacher, while Shao Wu went alone to see Grandma and Longlong. He had reached Songji Street hoping for a bowl of malatang, only for the proprietor to tell him the shop was closing.
That had been five years ago. Incredible. After Yang Shuyi’s family’s home was demolished, Shao Wu had never gone back to that neighborhood. What did it look like now?
His phone rang. “Shuyi” appeared on the screen, and Shao Wu hurriedly answered.
“Shao Wu?” Yang Shuyi sounded a little anxious and tentative. “What are you doing?”
“On the light rail,” Shao Wu said with a smile. “I got distracted just now.”
“You scared me.” Yang Shuyi laughed too. “How did you know the owner went home to look after his daughter’s baby?”
“I was joking.”
“…Really?”
“Why would I lie to you?” Shao Wu said. “But I do know his shop closed. The whole neighborhood was demolished.”
“Mm.”
Neither spoke for several seconds. Into the silence came the train announcement: “Approaching Guanyinqiao Station. Doors will open on the left…”
Shao Wu came back to himself. “There’s a really good Chongqing noodle shop in Guanyinqiao. I’ll take you when you get back.” It was Bandeng Noodle House, where Chen Yimang had taken him years ago. He wondered if Shengshengman Bar was still open, and where those boys from Sichuan Fine Arts who wore heavy makeup at night had gone.
Chen Yimang hadn’t returned to Chongqing in years. Yang Shuyi, too, had been away for three years. Suddenly Shao Wu felt a wave of sadness. Time had slipped past without him ever noticing.
“All right,” Yang Shuyi said. “When I get back.”
Shao Wu nodded. “Mm. Okay.”
But Shao Wu had no idea that the first person he’d hear from would not be Yang Shuyi, but Zou Xin. On his third night back in Chongqing, while he was working late at the office, she called. Luckily, he was the only one there.
It was an unfamiliar Chengdu number. Shao Wu answered. “Hello?”
“Can we talk?” asked a hoarse woman’s voice.
Shao Wu didn’t recognize her at first. “Who is this?”
“It’s Zou Xin.”
“…”
“Could I come to Chongqing right now? Tomorrow—no, I’ll come tonight. Shao Wu, let’s meet and talk.”
After two seconds of silence, Shao Wu said, “Just tell me now.”
“You two are together, aren’t you? I wish you well. I really do, Shao Wu. You’re such a good match. Really.” Her words tumbled out at a frantic pace.
Shao Wu asked, “Have you divorced yet?”
“Tomorrow—Shao Wu, listen. Look at it this way. You two can be happily together, and Old Zhang and I can be together too. Isn’t that perfect? Marriage is only a certificate, after all. Our wedding was just an act from the beginning. You know that, right?”
“…What are you trying to say?”
“Don’t make him divorce me, please.” Zou Xin suddenly lowered her voice, pleading. “Our marriage works out for both of us. His grandmother feels reassured, and my parents feel reassured too. Isn’t that a good arrangement, Shao Wu?”
Shao Wu’s thoughts were a mess. Before the wedding, Zou Xin had acted completely indifferent to whether she married, almost as though Yang Shuyi had been begging her. Why was she the one begging now?
“I promise. I’ll visit his grandmother every month from now on, I promise. Whatever you want me to do, I’ll do. All right? Oh, and doesn’t Yang Shuyi have to pay for his little sister’s education? I’ll pay it. How about I give Longlong ten thousand yuan a month? My family has several apartments in Beijing, too. She can stay in one if she wants. Tomorrow I’ll—”
Shao Wu hung up.
Zou Xin called again. He rejected the call and switched off his phone.
He wasn’t trying to torment or punish Zou Xin. He simply… didn’t know how to react. Ultimately, the marriage was between her and Yang Shuyi. Yang Shuyi was the one who wanted a divorce, and the choice was his.
The office was perfectly still. Through the floor-to-ceiling windows, Shao Wu could see the office tower across the street. It was 8:47 p.m., and half its windows were dark. He stared at the building and watched a thin crescent moon hang low, nearly touching its edge. More than ten minutes later, he turned his phone back on.
He couldn’t really leave it switched off. What if his family called, or a colleague needed something? And there were Yang Shuyi’s messages. He didn’t want to miss any of those.
Zou Xin showed some restraint; she didn’t call again after he’d turned his phone off.
But she sent him a text:
Shao Wu, have you ever considered what will happen if Yang Shuyi meets another woman he likes someday? Will he abandon you and marry her? Can you honestly say you have that much faith in him? If we stay married, at least he can’t marry another woman, right? With me, you at least know the marriage is fake… Please think it over. We’re supposed to handle the divorce tomorrow morning. You still have one night to decide.
Shao Wu deleted her message and blocked her number.
Then he sat down at his computer again to help a student revise the personal statement in his application. The student was a young man at Chongqing Technology and Business University. He had excellent grades and wanted to study business in the United States, but lacked an impressive internship record. Shao Wu considered every word carefully, discussing and revising the statement with him over a WeChat call.
Almost every sentence had been changed. Even Shao Wu’s phone had grown hot in his hand. At last, the normally patient young man sounded close to despair. “Teacher, aren’t you getting off work?”
Shao Wu glanced at the time. It was already half past nine.
“Oh, I hadn’t noticed how late it was,” he said. “Let’s stop here for today, then.”
The boy sounded even more distraught. “We’re continuing tomorrow?! You’re way too dedicated, Teacher!”
Shao Wu: “It’s my job.”
“Bro! I’m begging you! Tomorrow’s my girlfriend’s birthday!”
Shao Wu smiled. “The day after tomorrow, then?”
“Yes, yes, the day after! Bye!”
Shao Wu ended the call.
He shut down his computer, packed his bag, locked up, and hurried out of the office. Instead of going home, he entered a Japanese restaurant. It was still surprisingly busy at this hour. He sat down and ordered a set meal for two.
A waiter brought two sets of tableware. “It’s just me,” Shao Wu said.
“Oh. That’s quite a lot of food for one,” the waiter said helpfully. “Our soba portions are really generous.”
“That’s fine. I’ll take whatever I can’t finish home. And you don’t need to hurry bringing the dishes.”
“…All right.”
The waiter gave him a meaningful look. Shao Wu wondered what conclusions he’d drawn.
Did he think Shao Wu was a stressed-out office worker who didn’t want to go home and face his wife and children, so he’d come to a restaurant to kill time?
Actually, Shao Wu simply needed something to do. Work or food, it didn’t matter; he had to find something to occupy him. Just for this one night. Surely he could find enough ways to pass the hours.
He admitted he didn’t have enough confidence. He didn’t know how far Yang Shuyi’s feelings toward men really went. Maybe Yang Shuyi hadn’t become attracted to men at all; maybe he’d simply been moved by Shao Wu’s years of love. Didn’t people in the gay community always say sexual orientation couldn’t be changed?
And whether he wanted to admit it or not, the truth was this: if Zou Xin hadn’t cheated, Yang Shuyi would never have gotten together with him. He wasn’t deliberately belittling himself as a backup choice; it wasn’t quite that. It was simply that getting to be with Yang Shuyi had required an extraordinary string of lucky accidents. Zou Xin had cheated. Yang Shuyi hadn’t met another girl he liked better. Shao Wu had gone to Wenchuan to find him. The falling rocks on the mountain road… One thing had led to another. Break any one link, and perhaps they wouldn’t be together now.
It was all down to luck, wasn’t it?
And when happiness depended on luck, how could you not feel insecure?
The waiter brought the sushi, and another text came from Yang Shuyi:
Off work yet?
Shao Wu put his phone facedown and began eating. The octopus was chewy. Three pieces of sushi took him about five minutes to finish, didn’t they?
Then he replied to Yang Shuyi:
No, still busy. Let’s talk tomorrow.
Yang Shuyi replied instantly:
All right. Don’t work too hard. Get some rest early.
Shao Wu pocketed his phone and decided not to look at it again.
He began paying proper attention to his Japanese dinner: sushi, tempura, soba. Maybe Japanese food was just lightly seasoned, because however carefully he tasted it, he couldn’t make out much flavor.
It was almost ten thirty when Shao Wu got home.
On ordinary workdays he grew sleepy after eleven. But today he’d worked late and eaten an entire two-person meal, leaving himself exhausted and uncomfortably full. He ought to have been sleepier still. He should have fallen into bed without even showering. Tomorrow was his scheduled day off, so if he woke at noon, Yang Shuyi would already have his divorce certificate.
But as it turned out, he wasn’t sleepy at all. Not in the slightest.
Shao Wu stood in the living room for half a minute. Then he grabbed a mop, filled a basin with water, and went up to the roof terrace. It hadn’t been cleaned in days, and bird droppings had accumulated… He poured water over the ground and started mopping.
When he finished, he began assembling his reclining chair. The package had arrived the previous month, but he’d been too lazy to open it. Tonight, at last, he unpacked it and followed the instructions. After nearly half an hour of wrestling with the parts, the chair was ready. He dragged it out onto the terrace, decided it needed a sun umbrella, and opened Taobao to browse for one…
Shao Wu didn’t know when he fell asleep.
He must have grown so tired that he went to bed without even changing his pajamas, wrapping himself in a bath towel… He’d added a dozen or so parasols to his cart: round, square, Korean-style, luminous, double-ribbed and double-layered. What in the world was all this?
Eleven oh five in the morning. Thirteen hours and eight minutes had passed since Yang Shuyi’s text the previous night.
Had they divorced?
What time did the civil affairs bureau open in the morning, anyway?
Shao Wu got shakily to his feet, washed, and crouched on a chair to eat the soba he’d brought home the night before. It was overcast, but the temperature had risen two degrees from yesterday. He pulled on a jacket, pocketed his cigarettes and phone, and went up to the terrace. It was spotless, and the reclining chair he’d put together in the middle of the night was free of dust. Shao Wu settled onto it and rocked back and forth. It felt pretty good.
He lit a cigarette and smoked very, very slowly, hoping that by the time he finished this one, or perhaps this pack, Yang Shuyi would call and say he was divorced.
But there were only three cigarettes left in the pack anyway. You’d better hurry up, Yang, Shao Wu thought.
He finished the first.
Then the second.
The third—just as he was about to light the third, Shao Wu deliberately checked his phone. Twelve eleven. Forget a divorce; there’d been enough time this morning to hold an entire wedding!
Click. Shao Wu lit the third cigarette.
The terrace was quiet. Eyes closed, cigarette between his fingers, he rocked gently in the chair. There was a faint, stuffy breeze, as though rain were coming. By the time he’d smoked more than half the cigarette, Yang Shuyi still hadn’t called or texted.
That bastard was practically glued to his phone texting me a few days ago, wasn’t he?
Creeeak—
Shao Wu opened his eyes and sat bolt upright.
A hand pushed open the terrace’s old security door.
And there stood Yang Shuyi, a bulging backpack on his shoulders.
Shao Wu’s hand trembled so violently that the cigarette fell from his fingers.
“You—” Why are you here? Wait, didn’t you say it would take at least a week?!
“Divorced,” Yang Shuyi said.
He took off his backpack, unzipped it, pulled out a small green booklet, and handed it to Shao Wu.
It was a divorce certificate… Yes. It really was.
Shao Wu held it between his fingers. “What about your resignation? Is everything finished?”
“No.” Yang Shuyi looked directly at him. “You weren’t even answering my texts. Did you think I dared wait until all the paperwork was done?”
“…”
“Zou Xin showed me the messages she sent you.” Yang Shuyi sighed. “She tried to drive a wedge between us, then she tried the same thing on me. She told me you had absolutely no faith in me and that you might actually feel more secure if we didn’t divorce…”
“I never said that!” Shao Wu blurted.
“I know.” Yang Shuyi paused. “But you really don’t have confidence in me, do you?”
“…”
“I don’t know what I can do to make you feel completely secure…” He crouched partway in front of Shao Wu and looked at him helplessly. “Give me a little time, all right?”
Shao Wu met his gaze. After a long while, he nodded.
Yang Shuyi leaned forward and wrapped both arms around Shao Wu’s waist. His lips brushed close to Shao Wu’s ear again, and the warm breath of his words tickled inside it. “You had me frantic just now. I kept knocking at your door, and nobody answered…”
Shao Wu’s ears went scarlet. He wanted to ask how Yang Shuyi had known to look for him on the terrace, but before he could speak, Yang Shuyi kissed him, very slowly and gently.
It was a restrained kiss. Their lips barely touched.
Shao Wu thought that was the end of it.
After all, Yang Shuyi had asked him for time.
But then Yang Shuyi turned, pulled something else from his backpack, and placed it in Shao Wu’s hand.
“Don’t believe a single word Zou Xin says. I… I really do love you.” He stumbled over the words, apparently embarrassed. “Let me prove it to you now, all right?”
What he’d put in Shao Wu’s hand was a box of condoms.
Shao Wu: “…”
Then Yang Shuyi took something else out of the bag.
Lubricant.
Everything was happening far too quickly for Shao Wu to keep up. Were they supposed to go downstairs, right now? Oh no. His body was already reacting.
What should he say? Shao Wu racked his brains. “Y-you certainly came prepared…” No, no, that wasn’t what he was supposed to say!
A smile appeared at the corners of Yang Shuyi’s mouth. He pressed his lips together and nodded, surprisingly shyly.
“I’ve been studying up on it online these past few days,” he said.