If I had once doubted how ridiculous and fragile human feelings were, because even the supposedly most unbreakable bond of blood could be so absurd, then An Yin’s decision was the first thing that forced me to marvel at how strange human feelings could be. Someone could actually give up everything for “love.” Just thinking about it felt inexplicable.
But it did not matter. As long as he could be useful to me, I could accept whatever name he chose to give it. Since you wanted “love,” then I would give you “love.” I brought him from Xinfeng House, outwardly a pleasure house but secretly one of our strongholds, into Prince Rong’s Residence and kept him there as my most favored male concubine. The finest things were given to him first. Within the residence, I granted him status second only to the Princess Consort, took him with me whenever I came and went, and had him attend my bed night after night. The more people grew red-eyed with envy, the more satisfied I became, as though their jealousy were some kind of measure by which I could gauge just how much I favored and indulged him.
Nor could I say I had lost anything by it. An Yin had an exceptionally attractive face, was uninhibited in bed, and his body was remarkably supple. For a time, even I had thought I might truly become infatuated with him. Yet now, with softness and warmth in my arms and our bodies pressed intimately together, I felt none of the unbearable pounding that had seized me the night before. Something seemed to be missing, though I could not say what.
I was not someone who tired of the old the moment something new appeared, because apart from power, there was very little in this world I could claim to like in the first place. Dislikes, certainly. Sex, however, was merely a form of release. Besides, I never even had to seek anyone out myself. People flocked to me willingly, and not one of them was lacking in looks. Why would I refuse? Better still, it served several purposes at once and strengthened the smokescreen I had created around myself.
So why did I have no interest today? Worse still… that boy’s face kept appearing before my eyes without warning. His face smeared messily with ink, sly and lively one moment, aggrieved and pitiful the next, forever jumping at the slightest thing. Every expression was so vivid that I could not help wanting to keep watching.
It was not even the first time this had happened. Twice in a single day now. I had even been distracted while racing horses with Eighth Brother and ended up getting teased for it.
A low chuckle tinged with helplessness sounded beside Liu Yin’s ear, and the body in my arms gave an involuntary shiver.
“My lord, you’re distracted.” His voice was half complaint, half coy reproach. Black hair spilled across pale shoulders only partly concealed beneath his clothes. Desire shimmered in his eyes, making that already bewitching face even more vivid, while cinnabar-red lips parted and closed before me.
I lowered my head and took his breath, tasting the sweetness of his mouth before laughing softly. “Even distracted, this prince has already brought you this far. If I paid even a little attention, wouldn’t you finish on the spot? I couldn’t bear that. How could I let you have your release so easily before I’ve properly enjoyed you?”
“You!” He raised a fist and struck my chest. Knowing he would not truly use force, I caught his hand with ease and pressed a kiss to its back, laughing low in my throat. I knew how much he enjoyed that sound. Without exception, whenever he heard it, his face would take on that same intoxicated look.
“Ah!… Mm…” My hand slipped through the loosened opening of his robe and, with practiced ease, found the sensitive points on his chest, kneading and pressing until Liu Yin moaned in pleasure exactly as expected.
I lightly bit his earlobe, teasing the rim of his ear with my tongue as my hot breath brushed his skin, and smiled in satisfaction. Like or dislike had nothing to do with it. Every man wanted control, and watching another man become wanton beneath my touch satisfied my desire to conquer. More than that, with Liu Yin’s abilities, anyone who had ever truly seen him act was probably already in another world. Being able to pin a man like that beneath me, watch him lose himself in pleasure, and enjoy his obedience might have been nothing more than a man’s vanity, but I found it deeply satisfying.
“Does it feel that good?”
“Mm…” He pressed his lips tightly together. His watery eyes were heavy with seduction, yet he stubbornly tried to force some anger into them.
Heh. A rose with thorns after all. But wasn’t it more entertaining that way?
I sucked hard at his sensitive throat. The body in my arms shuddered uncontrollably and instantly went soft, as though every bone had been pulled out of him, leaving him limp enough to be entirely at my mercy.
“Tell me. Does it feel good?” Holding him close, I rubbed his hips through our clothing against my half-aroused desire. My eyes narrowed as I savored the trembling pleasure that traveled through me.
If it felt good to me, then it could only feel better to him. I had that much confidence, so I was in no hurry. Instead, I watched with amusement as he struggled to hold himself together.
“…Mm… ah… G-good… haa…” He shook his head almost frantically, his flexible waist moving wildly as he rubbed himself against me again and again. “My lord… it feels good… mm… so good…”
“This much already feels good? I haven’t even given you the better part yet.” I scooped him up and headed straight for the bed. For no reason at all, An Yin’s flushed, dazed face suddenly blurred before my eyes, and its contours became that boy’s instead. In an instant, the arousal that had only been half awake sprang fully to life, hard enough to ache. My lips and tongue remembered his taste, still green, faintly sweet, and unexpectedly delicious.
Clothes fell scattered across the floor, and An Yin’s cries echoed beside my ears. Suddenly I wondered what sounds that boy would make instead, what expression he would wear, what kind of position he would like.
Ning Xuan. A very unusual name, yet somehow one that suited him perfectly.
My desire moved in and out of An Yin’s body. I knew perfectly well who was beneath me, yet what I saw was that boy instead, long hair disheveled, eyes hazy, lips parted…
Heh. Had I been possessed?
No. I probably really had been possessed. Otherwise, why would I have told him alone my own courtesy name? More importantly, who under heaven did not know my courtesy name? Yet he had insisted on pretending he did not. Heh. Since he wanted to play this game, then I would play along to the end.
Elio’s Notes: Yi Hua is Feng Xuanyi’s courtesy name rather than merely a random alias. A courtesy name was an additional personal name traditionally used in adulthood. Feng is essentially hiding in plain sight here by giving Ning Xuan a name that should have exposed him immediately.
Perhaps his appearance was simply too striking. Perhaps the liveliness in those eyes was simply too rare. I had never known I could devote this much attention to another person, much less reach the point of thinking about him day and night.
“Fifth Brother, Fifth Brother!”
“Hmm? What is it?”
“I should be asking you that.” Eighth Brother pulled a long face and stared at me as though he had seen a ghost. “Did something happen?”
His sudden seriousness caught me off guard, leaving me unsure whether to laugh or cry. “What could possibly have happened?”
“If nothing happened, then why have you been distracted all morning?” He clearly did not believe me. “Fifth Sister-in-law certainly wouldn’t give you trouble. Did that Lady Liu or Lady Shen or whoever go bother your new favorite again? That mess some time ago became such a spectacle that even Father Emperor heard about it. But he gave up on your temperament long ago. As long as you don’t go too far, he just turns a blind eye.”
“How did I not know about this?”
“That’s already over, so it doesn’t matter. I just want to know what has you distracted today, and wearing that…” He frowned, carefully searching for the right words. “…unusual smile.” What Feng Xuanzhen had actually wanted to say was lecherous grin, but under the pressure of Fifth Brother’s authority, he did not dare speak quite that honestly.
“Is it that obvious?” I did not deny it and reached up to touch my cheek. It had only been one night. “Back to business. It isn’t suitable for me to reach for military power personally, but Father Emperor is quite willing to place some of it in your hands. You need to make good use of this opportunity. When the civil and military officials see you off later, I won’t be going.”
“…” Feng Xuanzhen very much wanted to ask whether that was really to avoid suspicion or because of his new… Unfortunately, he possessed the thought but not the courage to actually voice it.