I held back my laughter and did my best to keep my expression calm and unruffled.
[Non-graphic summary: Feng Xuanyi continues teasing Ning Xuan about the adult-themed book, asking an intentionally inappropriate question simply to watch him react.]
I suddenly had to admire the painter. Who in the world had drawn this? The detail was astonishing. Even someone like me, who had put such things into practice more than once, could not help being impressed.
Watching the little cat’s complexion shift from pale to flushed red, I kindly voiced the resentment he must have been harboring. “The sons of wealthy families don’t study only for the imperial examinations and the honor of their clans like poor commoners do. Haven’t you ever heard of a wastrel young master?”
As I spoke, my arm gradually tightened around him. What had begun as nothing more than playful teasing changed somehow without my noticing. Perhaps the night was too hazy, perhaps the candlelight too dazzling, or perhaps the crimson profile beneath that wavering flame was simply too beautiful. Our eyes met, and my heart, struck without warning, stumbled into a helplessness I had never known.
I had seen myself reflected in countless people’s eyes, but almost always alongside their desires: power, reputation, wealth, identity, status. I could give them those things because they could give me what I wanted in return. Even if it lasted only for a passing whim, both sides were willing, so why refuse?
But eyes like these frightened even me. Yes, frightened me, because they were too clear, too bright, too dazzling, and far too easy to drown in.
I knew how distant such eyes were from someone like me. I also knew that someone like me would inevitably want to conquer them, to make them belong to me alone and look only at me. So my heart moved because he had given me the chance to approach, given me the possibility of trying. Beauties were beautiful, certainly, but they were still only pieces in a collection. My gallery, however, truly lacked a pair of eyes this clear and beautiful, eyes that made everything else in the world seem filthy by comparison.
[Non-graphic summary: Acting on impulse, Feng Xuanyi crosses a boundary and kisses Ning Xuan. The unexpected emotional impact startles him.]
What is wrong with me…?
[Non-graphic summary: Ning Xuan immediately resists, and Feng Xuanyi is jolted by the sharpness of that rejection.]
[Non-graphic summary: Feng Xuanyi recognizes Ning Xuan’s resistance but remains fascinated by how strongly the encounter affects him.]
The furious little cat turned all that resentment into strength and threw himself straight at my face. I shifted half a step aside and avoided him without effort. Unfortunately, the instigator had no control over the force of his own attack and promptly pitched straight toward the floor.
[Non-graphic summary: When Ning Xuan loses his balance during the confrontation, Feng Xuanyi catches him and turns even that into another teasing remark.]
[Non-graphic summary: Feng Xuanyi tries to dismiss the incident lightly; Ning Xuan’s anger makes it clear he does not accept that framing.]
[Non-graphic summary: Ning Xuan bluntly tells him that a forced kiss is not something Feng Xuanyi gets to trivialize.]
[Non-graphic summary: Feng Xuanyi answers flippantly, still treating the exchange as a game.]
[Non-graphic summary: He continues teasing instead of taking the rebuke seriously, which only deepens Ning Xuan’s frustration.]
If smoke truly poured from all seven apertures when someone became furious enough, the little cat was probably close. Watching every gesture and expression, a thought suddenly flashed through my mind. The idea instantly energized me, and my mouth moved before my mind could catch up. “First time?”
“Who says it was?!” The reply came the instant my words ended, like a cat whose tail had been stepped on.
If you had calmly told me yes, I might not have believed you. With a reaction like this, however, I almost had no choice. Still, if someone was this determined to save face, it would be rude to expose him. After all, he was merely a page, and I was only a “residence guard.”
[Non-graphic summary: Feng Xuanyi argues that willingness matters, while Ning Xuan remains plainly unconvinced by his attempt to rationalize what happened.]
Joking, bickering, teasing. How long had it been since I had indulged myself like this? How long since I had acted with such childish recklessness? The mask I had thought long fused into my flesh and bones somehow collapsed completely before him. I deliberately teased him, deliberately provoked him, deliberately made trouble, and at the same time refused to take offense at his rudeness or defiance. An entire night passed far too quickly. The long hours that had always felt like tedious routine suddenly seemed short.
I told him he could come find me whenever he wished, but with a false identity, a name that could never be spoken openly before everyone, and the way he clearly wanted to avoid me, how could he possibly seek me out of his own accord?
If I had picked the prey myself, if I had found the toy interesting myself, then naturally I would have to remember to go back for it.
The late-summer night wind had already begun to carry the first chill of autumn. The laughter and sparring from only moments earlier dispersed rapidly in that breeze, as insubstantial as flowers in a mirror or a dream born from millet cooking.
Once calm returned, I was Feng Xuanyi again, fully armored, the dissolute and useless Prince Rong who wore a mask every moment of every day.
I walked slowly along the lotus pond. A brief spell of forgetting did not mean everything else had ceased to exist.
To remain beside me, looks alone were not enough. If that were all it took, I would never have time for anything else. Then again, without looks, no one would catch my eye in the first place. Speaking of which… A faint curve touched my lips. Perhaps it was time to visit Liu Yin, newly brought into the residence.
Everyone knew he came from a pleasure house, lowborn and supposedly available to anyone, though blessed with a beautiful face and an understanding, agreeable disposition. What they did not know was what it meant to hide one’s abilities, to wield a soft blade, or to possess hard methods beneath a gentle exterior.
“Prince Rong has arrived!” A servant’s clear voice suddenly rang through the courtyard of Listening Lotus Residence in the western wing.
From tempered steel to softness around the finger, the change could happen in an instant. Everyone had a weakness, and humanity’s most common weakness was simply one word: feeling. Familial affection, friendship, romantic love, gratitude. Just as now, An Yin, the foremost assassin of Dark Gate, had taken on the identity of Liu Yin for no reason other than to remain at my side.
Elio’s Notes: An Yin is Liu Yin’s covert assassin name. The second character, yin, is the same character used in Liu Yin’s public name, so the alias quietly echoes it.