The noise downstairs dragged Ke Bu out of his sleep. He frowned impatiently, opened the dormitory door, and looked down to see what was going on. A group of worked-up people had gathered below. One boy stood somewhere higher than the others and led them in chanting slogans. “Get the gays out of Sheng Jie Academy! Sheng Jie Academy doesn’t shelter perverts!” The others repeated the chant after him. For a moment, Ke Bu thought he had somehow gone back to some bygone era.
Ke Bu rested both elbows on the railing and quietly watched them, then yawned. His indifference now had been built up layer by layer from all the pain of the past. Something at this level was already too minor, so minor that he could barely feel it anymore. At some point, Zhi Li had appeared beside him with a cup in one hand, brushing his teeth.
“Morning.” Ke Bu yawned lightly again. Zhi Li, still brushing his teeth, mumbled a one-word reply. He brushed for about a minute, his expression carrying its usual naturally harmless look. When he finished, he took a mouthful of water and spat the foamy white rinse straight over the railing. Ke Bu looked down and watched the water pour all over the head of the boy leading the chanting. He couldn’t help laughing at how ridiculous the boy looked.
“Who the hell was that?!” The boy looked up furiously. Zhi Li spat out another mouthful of water, then put his toothbrush into the cup and swished it around. After that, he poured the rest of the water in the cup over the railing too, then turned around and went back into the dorm. Ke Bu pulled himself back inside as well, listening to the boy below curse and shout.
It was as though someone had flipped a switch inside Sheng Jie Academy, setting off an intense wave of “anti-gay” sentiment that seemed to sweep through every corner of the school overnight. Every day, the student council acted like some kind of pyramid-scheme organization, lecturing people on the dangers of homosexuality. They didn’t seem particularly interested in targeting women, only men. They gathered frightening examples and images from everywhere, and even people who originally had no issue with same-sex relationships were beginning to waver. There was nothing particularly unbelievable about it. Humans were creatures that could be stirred up and shaken with frightening ease. If one person told you something was ugly, maybe you wouldn’t agree. But if ten people said it, then a hundred, then more and more people kept saying it, eventually… some kind of expert had even given this phenomenon a name.
A week later, Gong Zhu finally couldn’t hold himself back anymore. He couldn’t endure the humiliation and slander. During the break between classes, he turned toward Ke Bu with a seriousness that almost didn’t suit him. “Do you really not care about the things they’re saying?” Ke Bu asked himself the same question in his head. The answer was that he genuinely didn’t care.
“You’re just going to let those bastards insult us and bully us like this? Don’t you feel wronged? I can’t swallow this!”
“So what are you planning to do?”
“I’m going to fight them to the bitter end. I’m going to resist!”
Ke Bu didn’t stop Gong Zhu. He had stopped too many unrealistic things before. This was unrealistic too, actually, but he didn’t stop him. He looked back at Gong Zhu. “Then go do it.”
“Mm! I thought you’d object.”
“Why would I object? For you, and for a lot of people, having more people accept this kind of love would be the most beautiful outcome. You’re fighting for the beautiful world you want. What qualification or right do I have to oppose that?” Ke Bu’s words confused Gong Zhu. He asked in bewilderment, “You don’t want that too? For other people to accept our relationships and treat us the same way they treat heterosexual couples?” Ke Bu propped his cheek on one hand and stared at the pencil tip resting on the page of his book. His smile was faint. “I’ve never had goals that grand or noble. What I consider beautiful has never had anything to do with society. I’m too narrow-minded.” Ke Bu had never thought about things on such a broad scale. He had never felt that he absolutely had to do something to change the social situation surrounding same-sex love, convince people, argue with them, protest, advocate. It all felt too strange. Why force people who disliked him to like him? Even if they reluctantly managed to accept him, would that really make him happy? And why would it? Was whether those people accepted him really that important?
Different people would always have different ways of thinking. What Ke Bu found strange was exactly what Gong Zhu insisted on. To Gong Zhu, being accepted by others was something beautiful. So whose way of thinking was more correct? No one could judge that.
During afternoon PE, Zhi Li and Ke Bu sat on the grass. Sheng Jie Academy had been acting paranoid lately. The moment people saw two boys together, they would immediately start suspecting something. Ke Bu ignored all those looks and lay down. “Do you care about what’s been happening lately?”
“Which part am I supposed to care about?”
“So I’m not the only strange one after all. Why can’t I think the way Gong Zhu does?”
“Because you’re Ke Bu.”
Ke Bu grabbed his own hair with both hands and made an irritated sound. “I really am strange. Really strange. There are still so many people, so, so many people, who refuse to accept this kind of relationship, yet I hardly ever feel regret or sadness over it. Could it be because you bent me halfway through life, so I don’t care that much? No, that doesn’t make sense either.”
“Then how do you feel about it?”
Lying there, Ke Bu could see Zhi Li’s profile from a different angle. He still couldn’t find a flaw. It was as though Zhi Li’s face could withstand being viewed from absolutely any angle. Ke Bu bent one knee slightly. “You’re not allowed to laugh at me if I tell you.”
“I laugh at you?”
Thinking about it that way, Zhi Li really did rarely laugh at him. No matter what Ke Bu said, Zhi Li often took it seriously and simply continued the conversation from there. He had almost no ability to distinguish what counted as a joke and what counted as mockery.
“Forget it. Pretend I didn’t say anything.”
“How am I supposed to pretend you didn’t say anything?”
“Stop, stop. Don’t drag the topic somewhere completely unrelated again.” Ke Bu sat up and pushed Zhi Li, then stood and stretched. “There’s nothing bad about them not accepting us. There’s nothing bad about only a small number of people accepting us right now either. Because I’ve always thought rare things are precious. Special. I like special things.” After saying that, Ke Bu looked down at Zhi Li. “Is that way of thinking really strange?”
Zhi Li thought for a moment, then said, “Who is Special? Do you like him, or do you like me?” Ke Bu wasn’t an idiot. Zhi Li was asking that on purpose. He wasn’t going to say it. Absolutely not. He would rather die than say it!
“Of course I like you.”
“More than Special?”
“Stop asking questions that are embarrassing to answer!”
The campus broadcast interrupted their conversation. Ke Bu recognized the voice coming through the speakers. It was the student council president. “The following students are hereby expelled for violating the prohibition: Gong Zhu, Zhang Luo, Ying Xiu Jie, Chu Hao Yu, and Zhou Xin He. The decision takes effect immediately. You are required to leave Sheng Jie Academy by the end of today.”
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