“I only just finished burning it. I was planning to give it to you. You know what kind of person I am. How could I possibly keep it for myself?” Zhang Luo explained.
“Next time, give it to me immediately.”
“Got it, got it.”
Ke Bu cut between Zhi Li and Zhang Luo. “You two have the nerve to discuss this right in front of me?! Zhi Li, what is going on? Can you explain yourself?!”
“You mean this?” Zhi Li lifted the disc in his hand. “It’s a DVD of us having sex.”
“I-I know that! I’m asking why these DVDs exist!”
“The camera in the dorm recorded them,” Zhi Li answered calmly. He was actually explaining this with that completely unconcerned face. Ke Bu threw the clothing in his hand onto the floor. “What if somebody saw them…” Zhang Luo hurriedly jumped in to calm everyone’s rising tempers. “Listen to me first. I was doing this for my own safety, okay? Compared with all of you, look how weak I am. Maybe even Xin He could beat me. If I don’t record a little blackmail material, then someday if you all turn against me, wouldn’t I…”
“Wouldn’t you, my ass!”
“That excuse only makes us angrier!”
“Don’t get worked up yet. I’m not finished.” Zhang Luo gestured for everyone to calm down. “Anything marked ‘For Sale’ was properly edited in postproduction. I censored things with mosaics and everything, so relax. As for Ke Bu, none of yours say ‘For Sale,’ do they? Besides, the camera I installed later had a really good angle, and I never actually watched the footage. Weren’t you two under the blanket? What could I possibly see?”
“If you really never watched it, how do you know we were under the blanket?”
“Haha. I guessed.”
“Enough bullshit. Let’s hit him.”
Several people surrounded Zhang Luo and began punching and kicking him. Zhang Luo protected his head, utterly unrepentant. “See?! This is exactly the kind of situation I recorded those things to protect myself from!”
After dealing with Zhang Luo and taking away the fruits of his labor despite his desperate pleas, they finally began seriously searching for the camcorder. In the end, they found it on top of the wardrobe.
Zhang Luo hadn’t had many friends in the past, so Auntie Zhang was extremely enthusiastic about their visit. She insisted they stay for dinner and even reserved tables at a restaurant. It wasn’t only Auntie Zhang: Zhang Luo’s father, paternal grandparents, maternal grandparents, and every aunt, uncle, and distant relative imaginable were invited too, filling three whole tables. Just how momentous an occasion was this to their family? Under the family’s enthusiastic hospitality, everyone ate and drank their fill, had gifts forcibly stuffed into their arms, and even had a designated driver specially arranged to take them back to school.
While they were still some distance away from the school, Zhang Luo suddenly tapped on the window. “We’ll get out here.” Thinking something had happened, everyone else could only get out too, especially since they were all still carrying the gifts his parents had given them. They stood there watching the car drive away.
“So what’s wrong?”
“I can feel it.” Zhang Luo took a deep breath.
“Feel what? You need to piss?”
“No, no. Inspiration is pouring into me. Huge amounts of it. I want to film a segment here.” Zhang Luo spread both arms and immediately drew a chorus of curses. “You lunatic. You’re not suited to pretending to be some artsy young man. Film what?”
“I’m the director right now, so cooperate with me. Otherwise, I’m calling my parents. You ate my parents’ food, drank what my parents bought, took my parents’ gifts, and now I’m going to call them and say you all turned on me and want to gang-bang me.” Zhang Luo wrapped both arms protectively around himself. Several feet immediately kicked at him. “You think our collective standards are that bad? Gang-bang you? With iron rods?”
After cursing a few times, Ke Bu no longer wanted to waste time. “Fine. If you want to film, hurry up. Look at what time it is. I just want to go back and sleep.” Yawning, he leaned his body against Zhi Li. “Let me borrow you.”
“Five yuan per second.”
“I have to say, your rates are extremely unreasonable.”
“Discounted member price.”
“You mean nonmembers can lean on you like this too?”
“You were flirting with that girl over adhesive bandages.”
“That was four chapters ago and you’re still holding onto it?!” Ke Bu protested. “How was I flirting with her? Stop slandering me.”
“Quit chatting. I’m about to start filming.”
Gong Zhu asked in confusion, “Then what are we supposed to do?”
“Nothing. Just walk normally.” Zhang Luo stood at the front and aimed the camera at everyone. Zhou Xin He became so nervous that she moved the arm and leg on the same side together. Ying Xiu Jie started taking bizarre tai-chi steps. Everyone else looked completely listless. Director Zhang Luo was dissatisfied. “This is for the club! Looking like that, you’ll definitely get rejected by the student council. Don’t any of you know how to act? Show some youth! Some energy! Can you manage that?! You Yan, Zhi Li, you two are doing great. Keep doing exactly that.” Apparently, this was the difference between how a director treated stars and extras. What exactly were those two doing so well? You Yan was reading with a portable headlamp strapped to her forehead, while Zhi Li was playing a game on his phone.
“This is boring. I can’t get motivated.”
“Hao Yu, you’re the best at livening things up. Save the scene for me. I’ll make it worth your while. Maybe one day I’ll install a hidden camera in the girls’ dorm.” Chu Hao Yu was incapable of resisting this criminal temptation. He took out his phone, chose an upbeat song, pulled off his shirt, and swung it in circles overhead. “Everybody get hyped! I can’t hear you!”
Embarrassed silence answered him. Chu Hao Yu walked forward, grabbed Zhou Xin He, and forcibly led her into a ballroom dance. Zhou Xin He moved in his hands like a puppet. Then he pushed her toward Ying Xiu Jie. “Xiu Jie, show me the power of a real man.” Chu Hao Yu stuck two fingers into his mouth and gave a piercing whistle. Accompanied by Zhou Xin He’s cry, Ying Xiu Jie lifted her into the air. The pose wasn’t remotely suggestive. They looked more like an athlete and a piece of sports equipment.
Chu Hao Yu strode elegantly toward Gong Zhu. One hand pretended to press against an invisible wall while the other lifted Gong Zhu’s chin. “Princess, I wonder if I might have the honor—” He really could tailor his approach to everyone’s individual interests and get each of them into the mood.
At the back of the group, Ke Bu watched the ridiculous scene and finally burst into a smile. The corners of his mouth stretched wide as he cursed, “Idiots.”
Zhi Li was still staring at his phone screen, but one arm settled across Ke Bu’s shoulders and pulled him as close as possible. The place that had originally been so quiet was now filled with strange sounds, along with Zhi Li unconsciously humming to the music. It was so soft that only Ke Bu could hear it. The English lyrics coming from his mouth matched the song perfectly. Ke Bu hadn’t heard him sing in such a long time. Zhi Li’s low, slightly hoarse voice sounded so good it sent goose bumps over Ke Bu’s skin, and as he walked, Ke Bu couldn’t help bobbing his head gently to the music.
Slowly, very slowly, Ke Bu reached up and curled his hand around the fingers Zhi Li had resting on his shoulder.
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