A cold gust blew in through the window. Ke Bu pulled his clothes tighter around himself. Winter had come around again. He rubbed his hands together, but nothing seemed capable of warming him up. They should really be turning the heat on in the classroom soon, he thought, lightly stamping his feet. Ke Bu hated the cold. The feeling of his entire body freezing stiff was unbearable, yet no one seemed to understand his suffering. Every year when this season came around, everyone around him mocked the way he dressed. It wasn’t as if he were some woman obsessed with looking pretty. Was there anything wrong with putting on every piece of clothing that could keep him warm?
The moment class ended, Ke Bu rushed back to the dorm. He opened his wardrobe and put on two more tops and another pair of pants before finally feeling a little warmer. When the bell rang, he hurried back toward the classroom. His clothes were so bulky that by the time he reached the door, he was already panting for breath.
“Teacher, there’s a monster at the door,” Chu Hao Yu said. Ke Bu shot him a sideways glance before explaining to the teacher, “It was too cold. I was late because I went to put on more clothes.”
“Come in.”
Under everyone’s scrutiny, Ke Bu walked back to his seat as suppressed laughter sounded from all around him. University students could sit wherever they wanted, so Ke Bu took the seat behind Chu Hao Yu. The moment he sat down, Chu Hao Yu turned around and whispered, “Zhi Li definitely didn’t fall for you during winter. I’d bet my life on it.” Ke Bu repeatedly kicked the back of his chair. “Shut up and turn around.” He glanced at Zhi Li. Zhi Li wasn’t looking his way, so Ke Bu took out his phone and sent him a message.
[Whenever winter comes around, do you regret falling for me? Be honest. I won’t get mad.]
After sending it, Ke Bu tossed his phone onto the desk and listened to class while waiting for a reply. But an entire class passed without any response from his phone. The second class was the same. By the time their morning classes ended, Zhi Li still hadn’t replied. Ke Bu wondered whether Zhi Li was silently admitting it but simply didn’t want to hurt his pride. He was seriously underestimating Ke Bu. It wasn’t as if admitting it would do any harm.
Zhou Xin He, dressed simply but neatly, walked in carrying food and placed everything on Zhi Li’s desk. Holding a pair of chopsticks in both hands, she offered them to Zhi Li. “I-I developed a new dish. Lord Zhi Li, could you give me some feedback?” Ke Bu walked over while biting into the bread he had bought that morning and stared at Xin He’s latest creation. “This isn’t another weird experiment, is it?” Nobody was perfect. Some of Zhou Xin He’s experimental dishes could be downright terrifying. Zhi Li picked up some of the food with his chopsticks, put it into his mouth, chewed, and swallowed before giving his verdict without the slightest change in expression. “It tastes bad.”
“D-Does it? What exactly tastes bad?”
“Everything.”
“Then I don’t know how to improve it.”
Zhi Li picked up another bite and suddenly stuffed it into Ke Bu’s mouth. A second later, Ke Bu’s face turned bright red. “What the hell is this?! It’s spicy and it burns my nose!”
“I added chili peppers and mustard,” Zhou Xin He said apologetically.
“Water. Hurry, give me some water.” He held out a hand toward Zhi Li.
“I only have saliva.”
“I’ve got saliva too. Want me to spit it on you right now?!” After cursing him out, Ke Bu kept taking bites of bread in an attempt to get rid of the taste in his mouth. He seriously wondered whether he and Zhi Li had eaten the same thing. Zhou Xin He picked up the failed dish. “Lord Zhi Li, eat the other dishes first. I’ll go back and study this one some more.” Frowning, she left the classroom.
Ke Bu sat down opposite Zhi Li. “This is going to make me sound kind of clingy, but I still want to ask. Why didn’t you reply to my text?” Zhi Li looked directly at him. “I don’t know where I lost my phone.”
“No wonder I haven’t seen you use it lately.” Ke Bu remained calm for two seconds before suddenly raising his voice. “You should’ve told us! What if we start getting scam messages? It’s your phone, so someone like Ying Xiu Jie would fall for them in a second! And what if you texted me a hotel room number and I actually went? What do you think would happen to me?” Ke Bu was throwing out examples in the hope that Zhi Li would finally understand the consequences of losing his phone and display the reaction of a normal human being.
“Easy.”
“You’re insulting me now too? There’s no getting through to you. So you never got my message after all. I was going to ask if you had any opinions about the way I dress in winter.”
“Tacky.”
“Could you consider the feelings of the person involved before answering honestly?”
“Very tacky.”
“Then you must hate looking at me in winter.”
Eating his meal like a robot, Zhi Li asked, “What does the way you dress have to do with whether I dislike you?” At Zhi Li’s question, the spiciness in Ke Bu’s mouth, which had clearly already faded, somehow seemed to flare up again. It made him want to look for water once more, as though that might calm the inexplicable feeling rising inside him.
“Being able to keep making fun of how tacky you look isn’t bad either,” Zhi Li added.
Ke Bu smiled softly and kicked Zhi Li’s chair.
After eating, Ying Xiu Jie came over to visit again. He looked at Zhi Li with sympathy. “I got your text. You must be having money problems, huh? I transferred you the last three hundred yuan I had left for living expenses this month. Pay me back whenever you can. There’s no rush.” This time, it was Ke Bu who looked at Ying Xiu Jie with sympathy. He hadn’t expected this idiot to actually fall for the scam.
＊
Late that night, the tremendous crash of the door being kicked open jolted both Ke Bu and Chu Hao Yu awake. Ke Bu narrowed his eyes. The person in the doorway stood against the light, leaving only the outline of a dangerously sexy figure visible. A cigarette hung from the corner of her mouth, its ember glowing blood-red in the darkness. Smoke scattered by the wind curled around her. Chu Hao Yu had already dropped into a kneeling position. Ke Bu hurriedly sat up. Even from nothing more than her silhouette, he already knew exactly who it was. Every time he saw this woman, something about her presence made people instinctively submit.
“This humble subject pays his respects to Your Highness.” Ke Bu wasn’t deliberately trying to make a joke. His mouth simply wanted to say it. He had originally wanted to ask how she had managed to get into the boys’ dormitory, but then realized what a stupid question that was. She was Sheng Jie Academy’s first female student council president and remained its most famous president to this day. Quite a few members of the student council she had once led had since become part of Sheng Jie Academy’s senior administration.
Elio’s Notes: 娘娘 is a courtly form of address used for an empress or imperial consort. Ke Bu instinctively slips into the speech of a humble courtier because Lan Yin’s overwhelming presence makes him feel as though he is facing royalty.
The dark figure moved like a bewitching apparition. Lan Yin pinched the cigarette between her fingers, exhaled smoke, and walked toward Ke Bu. Planting one foot on the edge of his bed, she grabbed him with one hand and hauled him closer. “Kid, you’re about to be in serious trouble. Tell Zhi Li that if he wants my help this time, the price is going to be steep.”
“Your Highness, Zhi Li’s dorm isn’t far away. You could tell him yourself.”
“Why would I disturb my baby’s sleep over something that isn’t important?”
“I’m about to be in serious trouble and that isn’t important?”
“Hmm?”
“Nothing. Sorry.”
Lan Yin shoved Ke Bu away and vanished in the blink of an eye. If the broken door hadn’t still been right there in front of him, he would have thought the whole thing had been a nightmare.
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