Ke Qin lifted his teacup and took a sip. “A lot has happened recently. Ke Bu, you have to understand how difficult this is for us as your parents. The two of you being together isn’t some game. If word gets out and other people find out, how will everyone outside look at you? I don’t know about Zhi Li, but Ke Bu, can you handle it? Can you be openly affectionate with him on the street in front of everyone? Can you endure the way people will look at you? And to put it unpleasantly, if everyone learns about this and the two of you break up someday, the fact that you like men will follow you for the rest of your life. When that happens, how are you supposed to return to the life you had before?”
Wu Qian added from beside him, “Ke Bu, listen to your father. We don’t want to criticize either of you, and we don’t have the right to criticize you, but you need to think about yourself a little more. Whatever you do, you have to consider the consequences instead of letting your feelings decide everything.”
Ke Bu stared at the tea leaves tumbling and drifting inside the clear glass, then turned toward Zhi Li. Zhi Li kept watching the television and said indifferently, “Why are you looking at me? They’re talking to you.”
Ke Bu lowered his head and remained silent for a full minute before finally looking up. “Being affectionate in public isn’t something I’m afraid to do. I simply don’t want to. It isn’t because I feel embarrassed or ashamed; I just have nothing to prove to anyone. Why should I take this precious love of mine and expose it to all the ugliness outside just so other people can mock it? I’d rather selfishly keep everything wonderful about Zhi Li to myself. Honestly, I don’t want to make this sound too sappy, but all this talk about thinking it over again, about how serious the consequences might be, about how we’re still young and don’t understand anything… the ones who don’t understand are actually you. There’s nothing I can do about it anymore. It’s been seven years. Zhi Li has been beside me for seven whole years. My heart wants Zhi Li, my feelings want Zhi Li, my thoughts want Zhi Li, even my reason wants Zhi Li. I love him. Every part of me loves him. So tell me, what part of myself am I supposed to use to think about all those things you’re telling me?” Only after saying all of that did Ke Bu realize how calm he was. He tilted his head toward Zhi Li. “Congratulations. Your training finally paid off.”
Zhi Li rested his cheek against the hand propped on the sofa arm, a faint smile touching the corner of his mouth. “That’s more like it.”
Wu Qian and Ke Qin had tried everything they could, only to discover how little power they truly had. They had no right to force Ke Bu to live according to their wishes. The certainty and stubborn devotion in his words and expression shattered the last of their hesitation. They could not be sure that forcing him away from Zhi Li would ever bring him the so-called happiness they wanted for him; all they knew was that asking him to leave Zhi Li had already become impossible. Ke Bu had finally reached something close to heaven. Were they really going to push him back into hell with their own hands?
“Auntie, Uncle, you heard what Ke Bu said. Is there anything else you want to add?”
“For you, does none of this really matter?”
“It doesn’t.”
“Why?”
“I’ve never thought about it.”
“All those rumors, the insults people throw around everywhere, the vicious things people write online, all the pressure society puts on you—haven’t you heard any of it?”
Zhi Li’s clear eyes held genuine confusion at Wu Qian’s question. “I have. So what?” Yes—so what? Such a simple answer struck everyone in the room. He had heard the words. He had seen them written. And then what? What exactly was supposed to happen after that? Would the world collapse? Would their love somehow disappear?
Wu Qian watched Zhi Li, trying to read something from his expression, but there was nothing to find. Before meeting him, she had imagined that seeing Ke Bu standing beside another man as his lover would be unbearable, that she would feel awkward and uncomfortable simply looking at them together. Yet now that Zhi Li was actually sitting in front of her, she found herself forgetting to think of them as “two men” at all. They simply looked like Ke Bu and Zhi Li, together as naturally as though there had never been anything strange about it.
“Are your feelings for Ke Bu sincere?” Wu Qian asked. As his mother, how could she fail to understand her own son? There was nothing she could do against feelings this deep. She and Ke Qin had hurt him countless times, yet had never truly done anything that made him happy. She remembered Lan Yin’s words: I can’t even bear to let anyone else lay a hand on him, so how could I ever bring myself to hurt him?
Wu Qian had asked the question with complete seriousness, but the instant she finished, Zhi Li turned his face away. Sitting beside him, Ke Bu did not even need to think to know what was going through his head: How can anyone ask something this embarrassingly clichéd? Zhi Li suddenly stood. “I need to make a call.” Ke Bu’s eyes followed him into the kitchen. Zhi Li stood there expressionlessly with the phone at his ear. He did not appear to say anything at all, merely listening to whoever was speaking on the other end. Ten minutes later, under Ke Bu’s increasingly suspicious stare, Zhi Li returned and sat down.
“My feelings are sincere,” he said in a completely emotionless voice.
“Isn’t answering ten minutes later a little too abrupt?!!” Ke Bu shouted.
“Shut up. Don’t interrupt me while I’m trying to remember.”
Wu Qian did not quite understand, but she continued anyway. “Really?” Considering Zhi Li’s reaction just now, the answer was hardly convincing. Forget Wu Qian—even Ke Bu would not have believed him.
“Auntie, how would you like me to prove it? Should I tear out my heart and place it in front of you? Ke Bu and I endured countless hardships before we could finally be together. For him, there is nothing I wouldn’t do. For him, I could give up everything. He is my entire world. Auntie, if even after hearing this you still doubt my sincerity, then I truly don’t know how I could bear the pain.” His voice remained utterly devoid of emotion. Ke Bu’s eyes widened as he stared at Zhi Li’s profile. Oh no!! Zhi Li had gone straight into trashy-romance-novel mode. He was obviously forcing himself to recite clichéd lines he had memorized word for word. That phone call had absolutely been to Su You Yan!!
“Really? Ke Bu is my only son. You wouldn’t deceive me, would you?”
“Auntie, I could betray the entire world, but I would never betray Ke Bu. Nor would I ever deceive you. I have never lied to my elders, and you are Ke Bu’s mother—the mother of the person I love more than anyone.” His voice remained just as emotionless as before.
You’re deceiving her right now!! Ke Bu screamed inwardly. He desperately wanted to message Su You Yan and ask whether she could possibly have found a script that was any less nauseating. Goosebumps covered his entire body. He could hardly believe Zhi Li was capable of getting the words out at all, and he seriously suspected Zhi Li himself had no idea what he was saying.
Wu Qian turned toward Ke Qin. “What do you think?”
Ke Qin said nothing and merely waved one hand. Ke Bu stared at him in disbelief. They had agreed. They had actually agreed. Why had they agreed? How had his father agreed? The questions whirled through his head. He hurriedly said something to his parents, then, without caring whether it was appropriate, grabbed Zhi Li. “Come on. I’ll show you my room.”
“Not interested.”
The moment they entered, Ke Bu shut the door behind them. “Did you seriously think I was kindly bringing you in here for a tour? I lied. And what was that downstairs just now? You couldn’t have sounded any less sincere…” Ke Bu pointed at Zhi Li and launched into one complaint after another while Zhi Li folded his arms and leaned against the door.
But the longer Ke Bu complained, the harder it became to keep the smile out of his voice. Zhi Li would only do things like this for him. He had gone searching for Lan Yin and Zhi Zuo Si and sent them to confront his parents; he had even forced himself to recite those bizarre, sickeningly sentimental lines from some trashy romance novel. But who cared? Why should anyone care? The only thing Ke Bu knew was that Zhi Li would only go this far for him. The thought sent heat surging through his blood until his whole body seemed to burn, and happiness swelled painfully in his chest. He threw himself at Zhi Li and wrapped both arms tightly around his waist. “I’m going to cling to you forever, my Lord Zhi Li.”