June 1, 2018
06:00 — Woke up in bed at Shanghai Disneyland Hotel. Bathed, dressed, groomed, applied cologne, and styled himself into a refined, elegant older gentleman.
07:00 — Attempted to drag Mr. Xia out of bed. Failed. Was hit with a pillow.
Mr. Xia: “Stop making noise! I’m jet-lagged!”
“Hong Kong and Shanghai—what jet lag is there?!”
“Shut the hell up!”
07:30 — Attempted once again to drag Mr. Xia out of bed. Failed. Complained that someone his age could still sleep this much. Was thrown out of the room. Went to the restaurant to eat alone.
08:00 — Went to a café alone, drank coffee, and worked. Ordered a new car as a birthday gift for Mr. Xia. Due to speaking Mandarin like “This car has excellent performance” in a strange accent, and looking vaguely familiar, he was mistaken for a Hong Kong celebrity by a server who approached him.
08:30 — Discovered a financial magazine at the café featuring himself on the cover. Admired it with satisfaction, indulging in some self-appreciation, thinking he still looked youthful and handsome, not yet at the age of forty. Bought a small cake to celebrate Mr. Xia getting another year older.
09:00 — Received a call from Mr. Xia, who had just woken up. Mr. Xia offered a subtle apology for the earlier “domestic violence”, and subtly demanded that he hurry back.
09:05 — Went upstairs and used cake to coax Mr. Xia into a better mood. Mr. Xia complained that the cheesecake was too sweet. I replied that I wasn’t as sweet as the cheesecake—you could just eat me instead—and asked for a kiss. Mr. Xia said it was cheesy and cliché, but still “ate” it.
10:00 — Walked hand-in-hand with Mr. Xia to the park entrance: 人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人娃娃娃娃娃娃娃娃娃娃娃娃娃娃娃娃娃娃娃娃娃娃娃娃娃娃娃。
Elio’s notes: 人 represents adult people while 娃 represents children.
10:02 — Blamed Mr. Xia for oversleeping and causing us to queue. Mr. Xia retorted: “Hong Kong already has Disneyland, and you still insist on coming here!”
“This place has commemorative meaning—it has Children’s Day!”
“You’re 51 years old and still celebrating Children’s Day?”
“And you’re 54 and still sleeping in?”
Thus, an argument began.
10:05 — When husbands argue, even dogs avoid them.
10:10 — Went to the service desk to ask whether someone like Mr. Xia could purchase a senior-priority ticket. The staff replied that someone like Mr. Xia did not qualify as elderly, and that although there was no senior-priority ticket, the two of us could purchase the Premium VIP Service to skip lines. Also added: “Sir, please stop hitting—your friend’s hairstyle is about to be ruined.”
10:11 — The hairstyle was not saved.
10:15 — Employed the “rich man method” and purchased the VIP guided service—no queueing for rides, reserved seating for shows.
10:20 — Successfully entered the park. 人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人娃娃娃娃娃娃娃娃娃娃娃娃娃娃娃娃娃娃娃娃娃娃娃娃娃娃娃娃娃娃娃娃娃娃娃娃娃娃娃娃娃娃娃娃娃娃娃娃娃娃娃娃娃娃。
10:21 — Mr. Xia had never seen such a vast sea of people in his life and wanted to return to Hong Kong. Reminded Mr. Xia that Hong Kong also has the Tsuen Wan Line at 8 a.m. and Canton Road on Christmas Eve.
10:25 — Accompanied Mr. Xia to eat brunch. Mr. Xia nitpicked every restaurant. Told Mr. Xia not to be picky; Mr. Xia replied that none of them looked as good as what I cooked. Heart sweetened.
10:35 — Mr. Xia declared this hot dog tasted better than what I made and ate three in a row. Decided to treat Mr. Xia to a fresh “hot dog” tonight.
11:00 — Mr. Xia was picky about attractions and finally chose Tron Lightcycle.
11:15 — Thrilling, rapid descent, terrifying.
11:25 — Clutching chest, leaning against the wall, unsteady. Mr. Xia told the guide that I was old and had a weak heart. The guide replied cheerfully: “Haha, you two are joking—both of you are very young! Are you from Hong Kong? You’re so handsome—are you actors? Do you know Nick Cheung? Welcome to play here.”
11:30 — Mr. Xia chose Roaring Rapids.
11:40 — Thrilling, water splashing everywhere, rapid descent, terrifying.
11:50 — Dizzy and nauseated; everything looked like it would make me throw up. Mercilessly mocked by Mr. Xia. Did not want to talk to Mr. Xia. Relationship developed cracks.
11:55 — Drank cold soda bought by Mr. Xia. Rested with my head on Mr. Xia’s lap. Enjoyed Mr. Xia’s gentle head massage. Relationship rapidly repaired. Heart sweetened.
12:00 — Sweetness lasted only five minutes. Thor came out for a show. I was abandoned on the bench. Mr. Xia eagerly went to watch Thor.
12:02 — Mr. Xia admired Thor’s muscles. Mr. Xia cast a disdainful glance back at me. Thor—the nightmare of every boyfriend and husband.
12:05 — Mr. Xia wanted to choose another high-speed ride. Seeing how pale I looked, he said, “Better accompany you on the carousel.”
12:15 — Rode the carousel. Old man briefly regains a girlish heart, deeply satisfied. Mr. Xia rode while playing on his phone.
12:35 — Rode Dumbo the Flying Elephant. Old man once again regains a girlish heart, deeply satisfied. Mr. Xia continued playing on his phone. Tried to watch Mr. Xia’s phone but couldn’t see clearly and became dizzy from the ride. Questioned why Mr. Xia wasn’t dizzy. Received a look of disdain.
13:15 — Randomly chose a restaurant for lunch. Truly awful. Mr. Xia suggested trying hot dogs again. Resolved to treat Mr. Xia to a steaming “hot dog” tonight.
14:00 — Watched Frozen. Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful.
15:00 — Watched Captain Jack. Fun, fun, fun.
16:00 — Watched Tarzan. Handsome, handsome, handsome. Mr. Xia admired Tarzan’s muscles. Mr. Xia cast another disdainful glance. Never expected to compete not only with male idols but also with a jungle man—life is difficult.
16:30 — Premium VIP Service about to end. Mr. Xia rushed to ride another high-speed attraction. Told me to wait below.
16:35 — To prove I was a better husband than any male idol or jungle man, I insisted on accompanying Mr. Xia.
16:45 — Was carried out of the ride in a princess carry by Mr. Xia. Attracted attention from children. A child said, “Mom, do you remember last time a big brother was also carried like this by an uncle, but they didn’t kiss like this.” The mother covered the child’s eyes and said, “Don’t learn from these two uncles.” Mr. Xia said: “Damn! This is artificial respiration—it’s first aid!”
17:00 — Regained consciousness. Delivered a long speech: should never have come to an amusement park; shouldn’t pretend to be youthful at this age; physical condition can’t keep up; fainting so easily—might end up in a wheelchair in a few years…
Mr. Xia replied: “Shut up. Who was the one tossing me around for an hour last night? You’re just weak and dizzy.”
17:10 — Strolling and eating, eating and strolling.
18:00 — Rested at a café. Connected online to handle company affairs. Mr. Xia played on his phone.
20:00 — Went with Mr. Xia to watch the fireworks. 人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人Mr. He holding hands with Mr. Xia人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人。
20:15 — 人人人人人人人人人人Mr. He人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人Mr. Xia人人人人。
20:30 — After many twists and turns, finally reunited with Mr. Xia amidst the bustling crowd. Asked whether he still wanted to visit Chenghuang Temple. Mr. Xia took out his phone to search: 人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人。
Mr. Xia: “I’m going back to Hong Kong!”
20:31 — “Baby, let’s not go back to Hong Kong. Let’s go back to the hotel to celebrate instead. At most, I’ll treat you to some hot dog.”
21:00 — Arrived at the hotel. Excitedly went to shower and invited Mr. Xia to bathe together; Mr. Xia refused and continued playing on his phone.
21:20 — Finished showering. Mr. Xia went in to bathe, tossing aside his phone.
21:21 — Mr. Xia’s phone kept lighting up with notifications. Curiosity got the better of me—I skillfully unlocked it and took a peek.
Discovered that Mr. Xia, besides having a Facebook account, also had a mainland Weibo account, named “Haven’t Been a Big Boss for Many Years”, with a profile picture of smiling lips. He had quite a number of followers, all refined young men. Mr. Xia rarely typed—most of the time he posted photos.
Today’s Disneyland series included: a wrinkled pillow, a bitten cake, a hot dog, Thor’s arm, the carousel, and Dumbo.
The final photo was the side profile of a man sleeping on his lap: the angle was narrow, the lighting deliberately obscured. His face could not be clearly seen—only an elegant outline, a straight nose bridge, long eyelashes, faint lines at the corners of his eyes, and slightly graying temples.
The comments below were numerous and embarrassingly suggestive—hard to fully comprehend.
21:23 — Scrolling further down, many photos were secretly taken of the same man: his silhouette, his hands, his brows, his earlobe, his faint abdominal lines, the curve of his hips beneath a suit…
The comments begged for explicit photos and full frontal shots. Mr. Xia consistently replied:
“It’s mine! Not sharing!”
21:24 — Stood before the mirror to compare, only to realize that those photos matched every part of my own body exactly.
Even the lips in the profile picture were the same.
21:25 — Well played, Xia Liu Yi.
21:30 — Calmly put down the phone, inwardly delighted. Slipped into the bathroom to cling to Mr. Xia and take a bath together. Invited Mr. Xia to eat “hot dog” in the bathtub.
21:55 — Finished “eating” up top, switched to “eating” below. Delighted. Carried Mr. Xia onto the bed and eagerly began enjoying my Children’s Day feast.
22:30 — Like gongs and drums shaking the heavens, waves crashing like a storm—both sides became overly enthusiastic. The one on top strained his waist; the one below pulled his hip. Both froze stiff on the bed, unable to move.
22:35 — With difficulty, shifted into a 69 position to massage each other.
22:50 — Felt a bit better. Supported each other into the bathroom to wash.
23:00 — Lay on the bed somewhat regretfully. Comforted myself that it was still a wonderful Children’s Day. Tomorrow, I would register a Weibo account to follow Mr. Xia, and post the treasured photos I had of him wearing an apron.
23:01 — Exchanged goodnight kisses with Mr. Xia.
June 2, 2018
Woke up in the hotel bed. The first thing I did upon opening my eyes was register a Weibo account named “Haven’t Been a Boss’s Wife for Many Years”, with a profile picture of Big Boss yawning widely.
By noon that same day, I was blocked by Big Boss.
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