Lu Guang Ming had been in an excellent mood lately. That day, the entire team went out on an operation and invited a prominent business tycoon back to the ICAC to “have coffee.” A whole group of them sat in the car with the tycoon, yet Lu Guang Ming alone stared dreamily out the window with a foolish smile on his face.
Chief Xu coughed beside him. “We’re inviting someone to ‘have coffee.’ Look serious.”
Lu Guang Ming had not yet returned to his senses. He nodded repeatedly like a chick pecking at grain and cheerfully said, “All right, all right.” Then, under Chief Xu’s glare, his expression instantly turned solemn as he sat upright and stared straight ahead.
“Just look at him, putting on that fake act. He was pretending to be cute in front of Chief Xu again. I’m getting goose bumps.” After returning to the ICAC, several colleagues gossiped about him in the pantry.
“He is actually rather cute,” a female colleague said. After the others glared at her, she added resentfully, “It’s only his personality that isn’t very cute.”
A new colleague from the Technical Department spoke in a tiny voice. “Um, cough… I don’t think Sunny’s personality is as terrible as you all said. Chief Xu recently assigned me to help with one of his cases, and he’s been very polite and enthusiastic toward me.”
Every colleague turned to stare at him. “Polite and enthusiastic? Are you talking about that Sunny?”
The technician was frightened into stammering. “W-W-Who else could it be? There’s only one Sunny in the entire office.”
“You’re all here.” A head suddenly popped into view at the pantry door. “Franky-zai is here too. Thank you for buying me breakfast yesterday. I just went out to buy some pastries for afternoon tea. Have a sugar-coated egg doughnut.”
The group stared as though they had seen a ghost while Lu Guang Ming, who had always treasured money more than life itself, approached with a box of sugar-coated egg doughnuts and a beaming smile. “I bought plenty. Everyone can have some. I haven’t eaten these in ages. I specially took a bus to an old shop to buy them. The moment I saw them, they reminded me of my childhood. Hehehe.”
Everyone in the room looked utterly astonished. Their expressions suggested that they were not looking at childhood memories but at arsenic. In the end, it was Franky, the newcomer from the Technical Department, who reached out and took one. He asked in confusion, “Why are you all standing there? Eat.”
The others remained hesitant, still not daring to reach for one. Just then, Chief Xu entered carrying a coffee cup. “Why are all of you crowded in here? There isn’t a single person outside. Anyone who didn’t know better would think it was a holiday today. What’s this? Sugar-coated egg doughnuts! I haven’t eaten these in years!”
Their superior happily picked out a large one from the box. “Why aren’t any of you eating? Come, come. Everyone take one.”
The colleagues obediently followed his lead, each carrying an egg doughnutas though it were a dangerously hot potato, and left the pantry one after another with awkward expressions. Chief Xu and Lu Guang Ming remained inside to pour themselves water. Lu Guang Ming blinked up at his boss, his face openly seeking praise. “Chief Xu, I know I was wrong about what happened before. What do you think of my recent performance?”
Chief Xu looked rather helpless. “You’re behaving as though you took the wrong medicine. Don’t progress so quickly. Are you trying to frighten them to death by suddenly changing your entire personality?”
Although Lu Guang Ming received a tactfully phrased criticism, he considered it a “criticism born of love” and remained very happy.
…
The rotating interrogation of the business tycoon continued for twenty-four hours, making remarkably rapid progress. The following afternoon, after reaching his eighth cup of coffee, the suspect finally confessed honestly to his crimes. Once work ended that night, the colleagues who were not on duty discussed going out to sing karaoke in celebration.
Lu Guang Ming never participated in such activities ordinarily. However, since everyone had eaten the egg doughnuts he bought the previous day—and they truly had tasted exactly like the ones from childhood—they could not quite determine what Lu Guang Ming intended. They therefore urged Franky to ask whether he wanted to come.
“Yes, yes, yes,” Lu Guang Ming replied with particular enthusiasm. “Will there be drinking? Yes, yes, yes.”
That night, he joined everyone in their merrymaking and drank until heaven and earth seemed to turn dark. Nearly everyone present had suffered at his hands or endured his temper before, so they poured his drinks rather ruthlessly. Lu Guang Ming saw through their tiny malicious intentions, but accepted every drink offered, displaying something of an intention to apologize through alcohol.
He had never taken part in a group gathering before, so at first, he remained somewhat restrained and reserved. After three rounds of drinks, his true nature emerged. Shamelessly, he went onstage to display his singing voice, took off his jacket and tied it around his waist, then threw an arm around Franky’s shoulders as the two began singing The Lovelorn Alliance.
“He always leaves behind nothing but a telephone number and never lets me take him home. I heard that you once fell in love with him too and were just as hopelessly unable to break free…”
The two handsome young men shook their heads and wagged their bodies, twisting their waists to the left and thrusting their hips to the right as they bounced around the cramped stage. Once they reached the height of the song, everyone joined in, the entire room jumping together. “Find a way to admit you’ve lost in love! Give your heart a proper holiday! Whenever you and I accidentally think of him again, draw a cross through the memory! Draw a cross through the memory!”
Lu Guang Ming and Franky tore the jackets from around their waists and threw them into the air, howling at the tops of their lungs, “Draw a cross through the memory—ahhh!”
Everyone in the room howled and applauded. “Great singing! Great singing! Sing another!”
“No more, no more.” With his face flushed from alcohol, Lu Guang Ming hid in a corner and secretly drank another half glass. Franky remained onstage, tenderly singing Only Wish to Love One Person in This Life. “Half-drunk and weary, I wander through the evening twilight…”
When the song reached its saddest point, tears nearly emerged from Lu Guang Ming’s eyes as well. “I only wish to love one person in this life, because you are the only one. I only wish to love one person in this life; even one lifetime would not be enough.”
Brother Jia Qi, he thought as he stared at his glass, I’m finished. I think I truly like him. That day, he apologized to me and said, “From now on, I’ll believe everything you say.” He even smoothed my hair and told me to “get inside.” He’s so cute. I don’t want to be fuck buddies with him anymore. I want to hold him while we sleep every night—just sleeping beneath the quilt without doing anything.
You only loved one person in your entire life, but I want to love him too. I want to help you continue loving him.
But he also only loves one person in his entire life. That person is already you. I shouldn’t steal your love, and I could never take it away.
He knew perfectly well that no matter how well Xie Jia Hua treated him, it was only out of concern and sympathy. Even if Lu Guang Ming someday told him everything about his past with Brother Jia Qi, Xie Jia Hua would merely regard him as a younger brother, just as Brother Jia Qi had. At most, he would continue caring for him in Brother Jia Qi’s place.
In the story belonging to those two, Lu Guang Ming was not worthy even of having his name mentioned.
Overcome by sadness, he could not resist drinking another glass. After Franky finished singing, he came down and tried to persuade him. “Sunny-zai, why are you still drinking? If you drink any more, you’ll be too drunk to get home.”
“It’s fine.” Lu Guang Ming grinned while hugging the bottle. As he spoke, he became happy again. “Someone comes to pick me up now.”
“Who’s coming to pick you up? Don’t you live alone?”
Lu Guang Ming looked very smug. “Just watch when we leave later. A very handsome big brother is coming to collect me.”
“You have an older brother? Wow, I’m so jealous. I don’t have any older brothers or sisters. I’m the eldest, with a whole group of younger siblings beneath me. I even have to stop them from sneaking out at night and getting drunk.”
Lu Guang Ming gave Franky a meaningful look and thought, Hehehe. This “big brother” isn’t that kind of big brother. This is the big brother I want to sleep with. Tonight, I’ll take advantage of being drunk and pester him again. Let’s see whether he can restrain himself.
Soon, it was time to part ways. Those who could make their own way home did so, while those who could not waited for family members to pick them up. Lu Guang Ming collapsed in a drunken heap alongside several equally incapacitated colleagues. Franky used his phone to make the call for him, then asked in confusion, “Why did you give your older brother the English name ‘Fool’?”
“He—hic—he is a fool.”
“Sunny!” A colleague who was so drunk that he could barely speak coherently suddenly lunged over and wrapped both arms around Lu Guang Ming’s waist, shouting sincerely, “I need to apologize to you, Sunny! I only discovered today that you’re—hic—a good kid. You’re just a little bit of a fool. So you were only shy before. Don’t worry. We—hic—we in the Operations Group are all good people. We won’t bully you. Look at how—how irritating you used to be, yet none of us dared—no, none of us could bear to hit you.”
“All right, thank you, Brother Win.” Lu Guang Ming hugged him tightly as they breathed alcohol fumes into each other’s faces. “I was the awful one before. I was wrong.”
His colleague boldly threw an arm around his shoulders. “Come on! Brother Win will take you home!”
“Brother Win, you’re far too drunk. Don’t move!” Franky said. “Your wife will be here soon. Look at the way you’re hugging Sunny. Do you want to go home and kneel on a washboard?”
Lu Guang Ming also said smugly, “Exactly. I don’t—hic—want you to take me home. I want my handsome big brother to pick me up.”
The “handsome big brother” soon arrived. Filled with anticipation, Franky opened the private-room door and saw a bald, bucktoothed, middle-aged caregiver.
With practiced ease, the man dug the limp Lu Guang Ming out from the crowd and hoisted him over one shoulder with astonishing strength. Turning his head, he blasted Lu Guang Ming’s flushed little face with a breath of foul air. “Mr. Xie is working on a case and doesn’t have time, so he told me to carry you home. The labor fee is one hundred bucks, and the taxi fare is separate. He said that if you don’t have any money, borrow some from a colleague first and claim reimbursement from him later.”
“…”
—Reimbursement, my ass! Why couldn’t you simply say you were too busy to come instead of calling a caregiver?! Why did you tell him to carry me home?! Don’t I need to preserve my dignity in front of my colleagues?! Who would ever like that stinking Sweet Potato—ahhh!
Leave a Reply