There were, naturally, different kinds of love.
Qian Xuelang said nothing. He merely closed his eyes and slept for a while. When he awoke, the villagers had also emerged from their pleasant dream. Reality and illusion had blended together, leaving everyone convinced they had spent the entire night celebrating at the festival.
Wuhui looked no different from his usual self. The girl who had played the Demon Mother, however, curiously held the unusual Yuejian flower and watched it wither in her hand, looking rather disappointed.
Qian Xuelang and Ren Yijue walked through the entire village. Only after confirming that everyone was genuinely safe did they feel relieved.
Over the past few days, the villagers had grown familiar with Qian Xuelang’s face, but they were unsure exactly how many Sword Sect disciples there were. When they saw Ren Yijue’s unfamiliar face, they assumed he was another Sword Sect disciple and paid him no mind. The Sword Sect disciples they met on the road, meanwhile, took Ren Yijue for a local half-demon villager. For a time, no one thought to question Ren Yijue’s identity at all.
Seeing that the Sword Sect disciples had come to no harm, Ren Yijue relaxed. The Heavenly Demon really had come for the sacrificial dance. Yet that very ritual had also brought a deeply troubling piece of news: killing the Heavenly Demon had become even more difficult.
His brow furrowed again.
“What are you worried about?” Qian Xuelang asked.
By unspoken agreement, neither of them mentioned what had happened between them. They behaved as though they were still simply fellow cultivators traveling together, without love, hatred, or tangled feelings between them.
“I was just thinking that it’s good everyone’s safe, of course.” Ren Yijue abruptly stopped and sighed softly. “We needn’t worry about them, but there’s something else important that we must concern ourselves with.”
The sun was blazing. Ren Yijue instinctively reached to take Qian Xuelang’s hand, then suddenly remembered something and stopped. After a moment’s hesitation, he caught only Qian’s sleeve instead. His change of mind was so swift that nobody would have noticed it, yet Ren Yijue still felt guilty. “The sun’s strong. Come with me first, Jade Beauty.”
Qian Xuelang regarded him quietly. Only after a long while did he give a soft “Mm.”
They found somewhere shaded and sat down. Ren Yijue let go of the sleeve, broke a twig from a branch, and began slowly drawing in the soil. “We didn’t know before that there were still so many villages and tribes that worship the Heavenly Demon and the Demon Mother. We thought there were only Heavenly Demon Vessels. In that case, if we steeled our hearts—”
Qian Xuelang interrupted. “Steeled our hearts?”
Ren Yijue was silent for a moment. Meeting Qian Xuelang’s questioning gaze, he gave a slight smile as though unconcerned. “Yes. Steeled our hearts and killed every Heavenly Demon Vessel. If there were another solution, that would be wonderful. But if there weren’t, which should weigh more heavily: a handful of lives, or all the people under Heaven? Surely the answer is clear enough.”
Qian Xuelang was reminded of Yin Wuchen’s death outside Dongxun City. Ren Yijue had spoken of his reasoning just as calmly then, with the same cold ruthlessness.
Sometimes this man could be even more merciless than a follower of the Emotionless Dao.
Qian Xuelang did not know what to say or do. He could heed the Heavenly Demon’s threat and stay his sword to save Ren Yijue’s life, but he could not interfere with Ren Yijue’s own decisions. He had neither the right nor the ability.
If this young man truly chose to die for the common people, just as Master had forged his sword for their sake, Qian Xuelang would still… still be powerless to do anything.
There is nothing I can do.
Just as Ren Yijue had promised on the mountain, after awakening Qian Xuelang’s emotions, he was helping Qian Xuelang comprehend and transcend them.
Qian Xuelang could not name the feeling in his heart. Throughout many years past, it had grown so faint that he could barely sense it; he himself had believed it was gone. But now it had crept back out, announcing its existence.
Ren Yijue called this weakness.
People always encountered things they could not accomplish and people they could not persuade to stay.
Although his cultivation was not particularly high, Ren Yijue had considerable insight into such matters. He had never lied about them, nor had he deceived Qian Xuelang.
Perhaps because he was distracted himself, Ren Yijue failed to notice Qian Xuelang’s unusual state. Instead, he stared intently at the earth beneath his twig, drawing one stroke after another as he spoke unhurriedly. “If the only possible hosts were Heavenly Demon Vessels, we would be choosing between only a few lives. But the Heavenly Demon came to the festival. That means our understanding was wrong.”
“In any village or tribe that worships the Heavenly Demon and the Demon Mother and still preserves the ancient sacrificial rites, every person could serve as a vessel for the Heavenly Demon’s possession.”
“The world is vast. Even if very few villages worshipping the Heavenly Demon and the Demon Mother have survived from ancient times, there must be more than we know of. Now that the great immortal sects dominate, villages that worship the Heavenly Demon generally hide themselves away for protection. They’d be difficult to find. I don’t think we need to waste time trying.”
After a while, Ren Yijue added, “Besides, they may not even know what’s happened or believe that the Heavenly Demon has returned. Should we kill dozens or even hundreds of innocent people just because they practice some ancient customs, because of something they know nothing about?”
“Or does Jade Beauty think all that matters is to keep killing?”
Ren Yijue’s earlier words echoed in Qian Xuelang’s mind. Qian looked at him thoughtfully. He knew Ren was not making a veiled accusation, yet he still felt strangely disoriented. “You’re saying we should abandon the lead concerning Heavenly Demon Vessels.”
Despite everything they had investigated, they still knew almost nothing about the Heavenly Demon, other than that the Heavenly Demon needed to inhabit a body to act in the world. If they abandoned that lead, they would have no direction left.
“That’s right.”
After a moment’s thought, Qian Xuelang said, “Then we can only look for the Heavenly Demon’s weakness and kill him for good. Master spoke with the Heavenly Demon in the past and deliberately forged the sword. The Heavenly Demon himself said he once thought Master could kill him. I’m sure Master left some clues behind.”
For some reason, Ren Yijue did not respond to that. Instead he said, “I know far too little about the Heavenly Demon. What exactly happened between the Heavenly Demon and the Demon Mother? Can the Demon Mother’s forbidden technique be undone? What is the Heavenly Demon trying to accomplish? If we know none of these things, we can’t predict his movements. I’d like to ask the village chief whether we can learn something here.”
The responsibilities and unfinished matters that had accumulated during their travels were far more than one or two. They were tangled together like a hopeless mass of thread.
Perhaps Qian Xuelang was imagining it, but he sensed that Ren Yijue was deliberately avoiding him. Ren had neither invited him along nor used the word we when speaking of visiting the chief.
Come to think of it, Shui Wuchen’s problem was still unresolved. Since the contest with Jing Pu, one complication had followed another, until Qian Xuelang had almost forgotten about it.
He thought for a moment and asked, “Ren Yijue, Shui Wuchen’s matter still has no conclusion. Are you… are you going to travel with me?”
Surprise flickered over Ren Yijue’s face. Then his gaze darkened, his thoughts inscrutable. After a long while, he said, “Shouldn’t I be asking Jade Beauty that question? Does Jade Beauty still intend to travel with me? Miss Shui and I may not have a particularly deep friendship, but she’s forthright and honorable, and I’d gladly help relieve her troubles. But… aren’t you worried, Jade Beauty?”
Even Qian Xuelang could not have asked the foolish question, Worried about what?
Rather, it was precisely because he was Qian Xuelang that he would never ask such an innocently foolish question.
The two had once again brought their postponed conversation into the open. Ren Yijue had made himself perfectly clear and was waiting for an answer.
Feelings could resemble one another closely, yet the people experiencing them were entirely different.
Wei Wenfeng had loved Master deeply. He had tried every means of hiding that love, as though he feared they could no longer be friends if Master found out.
Qian Xuelang remembered how heartbroken Wei Wenfeng had been after Master’s death, and how cautiously he had asked whether he could keep Master’s likeness. Even though the man was dead, incapable of giving him any response ever again, Wei Wenfeng had been so careful, as though afraid of offending him.
Until… until the grief became so unbearable that he started to hate Master.
But Ren Yijue was different. His mind remained clear. These feelings might have confused him for a while, but they could not make him timid or uncertain. If he could not have something, he would simply let it go.
Perhaps Ren Yijue was the person best suited to cultivate the Emotionless Dao.
Their time on the mountain seemed like yesterday. The image of that affectionate Ren Yijue remained vivid in Qian Xuelang’s mind, making the Ren Yijue standing before him now seem strangely unfamiliar.
“I’m not worried. Not entirely because… because I can refuse you, and not entirely because I’m strong.” Qian Xuelang shook his head and pondered how to explain himself more clearly. “Just now, when you reached toward me, did you mean to take my hand?”
Ren Yijue did not answer.
Qian Xuelang continued on his own. “I could tell you changed your mind halfway and held only my sleeve. It wasn’t a big thing, but I felt a little disappointed.”
Ren Yijue listened in silence. His eyes filled with tenderness and warmth as Qian Xuelang finished speaking. For an instant, he looked almost as though he might soften. Then a flash of melancholy crossed his face, and it returned to calm, so cold that it was as if he had heard nothing.
“And what of it?” Ren Yijue asked. “Even if… even if Jade Beauty has really begun to love me a tiny little bit, what of it? You still have to let it go.”
He smiled, looking faintly mocking, though his voice remained gentle.
“If you don’t let go, that would be bad. I don’t want to see Jade Beauty trapped by love. It would hurt too much.” He paused, wounded by his own words, and could not entirely conceal his disappointment. “It’s all right. Whenever Jade Beauty falls in love with me, whenever you let me go, you needn’t tell me. I don’t need to know. Jade Beauty only has to come to that understanding quietly, for yourself.”
Ren Yijue smiled at Qian Xuelang. It was not a pleasant smile, merely a forced attempt to preserve his manners. “After all, Jade Beauty and I only ever traveled together to get what each of us needed.”
Why would he say something so hurtful? Why insist on seeing everything so clearly?
Qian Xuelang was suddenly overcome by a melancholy he could not describe. Something came back to him, and he asked slowly, “Is it because I’m not worthy?”
Ren Yijue looked into his eyes, seeming like a stone statue on the verge of collapse. His expression was terrifying and heartbreaking. After a long, rigid silence, he answered hoarsely, “No, Jade Beauty.”
He fell silent for a very long time before speaking again.
“When… when I was small, I heard a story about a mortal who stole a fairy maiden’s clothes and kept her in the human world as his wife. Unable to return to Heaven, the fairy had no choice but to live with him as a supposedly happy couple. My master disliked the absurd story. He said the mortal was far too selfish, and that the fairy should never have let herself become attached.”
“I didn’t understand then, but I do now. I’m only an ordinary mortal, and ordinary mortals are always this selfish. We try every possible trick to steal the robes of immortals. But if an immortal can be trapped by a single feathered robe, then that person is no longer truly an immortal, only another mortal with a magical treasure.”
“I’ve only… finally come to understand that.”