For several days, Qian Xuelang had practiced cultivation when awake and slept when tired. His sight gradually cleared, and his hearing also returned little by little.
He was still far from his full strength, but compared with the blindness of earlier days he had improved enormously. Not only could he perceive light, he could dimly make out the broad shapes around him. Only now did he realize he was in an underground cavern.
One day, Qian Xuelang awoke to find several infant spirits missing. After waiting a long time, he finally saw them drift down from overhead, laughing happily, and curl up in the womb pool to sleep. The demonic being arrived with them.
Mist swirled as the man descended. His features were indistinct, his figure no more than a dark silhouette. His clothes streamed around him like lingering dust and smoke. He really was exceptionally tall.
“You… were you waiting for me?”
The demonic being came over and sat beside the womb pool. His voice sounded hesitant but held a trace of delighted surprise.
Qian Xuelang gave a soft “Mm.”
The man studied him for quite some time. He raised a hand as though wanting to stroke his cheek, but hesitated and withdrew it. Qian Xuelang saw the entire movement clearly.
Whatever came to mind made the man shift uneasily. Only after a long silence did he force out a harsh question. “After what I did to you before, are you not angry? Not furious?”
Qian Xuelang answered coldly, “What is there to be angry or furious about?”
He was naturally calm and detached. Things he did not care about passed like drifting clouds, while no one could shake him from a decision he had made. With an enemy stronger than himself, what good would endless shouting and arguing do except exhaust his mind?
The demonic being lacked that composure. He was plainly displeased and suppressed it for a moment before losing patience. “You… you truly don’t care at all? Could anyone else do that to you too?”
Qian Xuelang found that almost amusing and answered with sarcasm. “Whether anyone else can do that to me is none of your concern. Or do you imagine that because you’ve done this, I must remain chaste for your sake?”
The demonic being was struck dumb, as though someone had stolen his tongue. After a long while he said, “I… I didn’t mean that.”
Qian Xuelang said indifferently, “You saved my life. Originally, I was deeply grateful.”
The demon laughed strangely and could not resist interrupting. “I certainly can’t see any gratitude from the Jade… from you.” He stumbled over the words, but Qian Xuelang did not hear the slip clearly or attach any significance to it.
“Does failing to see it mean it isn’t there?” Qian Xuelang asked. “But that hardly matters. As you said that day, even if you want to do something to me, I can do nothing to stop you. I must endure whatever you choose. You can humiliate me, kill me, or torment me a thousand ways. In my present state, I have no means of resisting. If so, saving my life does not amount to much of a favor.”
“Ah…” The demonic being’s voice was filled with boundless remorse and distress. “I… I didn’t…”
Then the demonic being saw Qian Xuelang’s unfocused eyes open as the other man interrupted him.
“Whether you did or not hardly matters. You have not tortured me, so I suppose you do not hate me utterly. But you did those things to force me to submit, to frighten and even control me. Surely I’m not wrong about that?”
Qian Xuelang spoke so plainly and naturally, as though this whole affair had happened to someone else. It only made the other man feel even more ashamed.
The demonic being seemed to remember something and sighed. “I should have understood long ago.”
He rose and paced the cavern for a while, perhaps to release his frustration or perhaps because he did not wish to continue the conversation. Qian Xuelang waited quietly without saying anything.
“No. You haven’t wronged me.” The man soon returned, his voice cold once more. His rough fingers touched Qian Xuelang’s chin, but the blur of the other man’s vision concealed the depths of his gaze. “I did indulge myself by manipulating you, forcing you to accept my wishes. Immortal Lord, you were born with such clarity that you cannot comprehend the weakness and helplessness of ordinary people. You fear neither death nor humiliation. I wanted you to understand what that helplessness felt like, so I acted as I did. I never expected the torment would fall not on you, but on me.”
His fingers moved slightly, with no trace of lechery or contempt in the gesture, almost as if caressing a treasure without equal.
Qian Xuelang watched him calmly and felt the anxiety and unease coming from him.
Soon the fingers slid away and came to rest against Qian Xuelang’s chest. The demonic being said heavily, “You have never lowered your head to anyone or knelt before another. When threatened by force, you might grow angry, but you will never fear or submit.”
“Only now do I understand that anything I do to you is futile.”
“You… needn’t worry anymore. I won’t do anything else.”
The demonic being was deeply despondent. Looking at that frosty, beautiful face, he suddenly thought, The Jade Beauty has never felt attached to anyone, never been bound by affection. Naturally he overlooks those who suffer under such ties. Lord Pu, me… ah, Ren Yijue, Ren Yijue. Even if the Jade Beauty came to care for someone, why should it have to be you? What possible justification do you have for defiling him to satisfy your own selfishness?
Wasn’t it simply desire that led me to violate him, disguising it as a lesson and pretending it came from pity?
The act was neither gentlemanly nor proper. If Master learned of it, he would certainly punish him.
Yet looking back, the demonic being knew that no matter how many times he could live it over, no matter how bitterly he regretted it, he would still make the same choice.
Qian Xuelang, meanwhile, found something interesting. This demonic being may be poor at arguing, but sometimes he speaks rather like Ren Yijue.
While the demonic being was sunk in despair, he remembered Qian Xuelang saying he had been “originally” grateful and was about to ask what that meant. Qian Xuelang spoke first. “Even if you won’t do anything more, I still intend to kill you. You saved me once, so I shall spare you once. The next time we meet, one of us will have to die.”
Only then did the demonic being understand why the other man had shown neither anger nor fury. He had already made up his mind.
For a moment the demon did not know whether to weep with grief or burst into laughter. He gazed at Qian Xuelang’s bloodless face, so cool and distant, taking nothing in the world to heart. Thinking of his own demonic appearance, he suddenly threw his arms around him and held him tightly. Leaning close to his ear, he said, “Good. Very good. Then let this be our struggle to the death for the rest of our lives. If you kill me with your own hands, nothing could be better!”
Ever since wielding the Demon-Slaying Sword, he had shed his human form and revealed his demonic one. During his occasional moments of clarity, the demonic being constantly asked himself, Who am I, really?
However extraordinary the Demon-Slaying Sword might be, it could not create something from nothing. It turned out the demonic qi within him had not arisen from an injury he suffered in the womb. Rather, it continued to arise because half of him was demon.
His master had raised him carefully, requiring diligent cultivation and the suppression of demonic qi. Surely Master had known the truth all along, and had told this lie intending to hide it for the rest of his life.
Perhaps that was also why his master never spoke of his father’s origins. He was a child of demonic blood. From childhood, he had known his mother had been harmed by demonic qi and had hated it. Now he himself had become a demon, overturning everything he had believed. He could scarcely describe how he felt.
And there were also the countless mouths of the world.
People distinguished sharply between righteous and evil. One needed only look at the nearby example of Shui Wuchen.
With the Heavenly Demon returning once more, even if he could wake his mother, how would other people look at her, what would they say, if they learned she had given birth to a demon child? Human gossip could be more frightening than any flood or savage beast.
In his dazed, disordered state, the demonic being often thought of his master and mother, and sometimes of the Jade Beauty. Yet however he turned the matter over, he could find no way to become Ren Yijue again.
Even if his body turned human once more, could he truly return to being the Ren Yijue who had known none of this?
Now, hearing that Qian Xuelang intended to kill him, he felt a sudden fierce satisfaction amid the chaos of his thoughts. The Jade Beauty was supremely fair: neither humanity nor demonhood would make him despise someone. His decision to kill was punishment for that forced, intimate kiss, nothing else.
Yes. Exactly! The demonic being’s heart leaped. Without an opportunity like this, who could ever touch the robes of a man who lives above the clouds, let alone steal a kiss?
He did not wish to die. It was simply that after revealing his demonic form and shedding his restraints, he dared do many things he had never dared before, and that felt strangely exhilarating.
Hearing such naked obsession in the demon’s voice, almost like madness, Qian Xuelang grew displeased.
“Insolence!”
He had not dwelt on yesterday’s kiss, but that did not mean he would allow himself to be pawed and toyed with. Frowning, he gathered his strength and struck the demon away with a palm.
As Qian Xuelang lifted his hand to strike again, drawing on his spiritual qi made his chest seize up. The remaining poison spread, a bloody taste surged in his throat, and he slowly lowered his hand, forcing down the anger that churned within him.
Though the demon had promised not to do anything further, broken promises were hardly rare. Besides, his mind was unstable; no such promise could be taken at face value.
Qian Xuelang drew a deep breath and calmed his anger. Through the blur he could see the man standing motionless and dazed nearby. Another question rose in his mind.
Why was he so happy when I said I would kill him? If only Ren Yijue were here. He is clever and quick to understand things, much faster than I am. Though knowing him, he might begin lecturing me about the life-saving debt I owe this demonic being, then pity the man for his disturbed mind and tell me to show compassion. Hmph. If someone kissed and hugged him like that, I wonder how he would react. With his generous nature, perhaps he would even let others take advantage of him and think nothing of it.
At that thought Qian Xuelang’s heart stirred slightly. I wonder where he is now.
Without warning, the demonic being asked, “What are you thinking about?”
Qian Xuelang answered, “Someone.”
The demon had just embraced him intimately and been pushed away. Seeing the severity on the other man’s face ease, he had supposed his companion was remembering something. Learning that he was thinking of another person filled him with jealousy. “Who are you thinking of?”
“What business is that of yours?”
Ignoring him, the demonic being pressed on. “You cultivate the Emotionless Dao. Can someone like you really have a person you miss and care for?”
Qian Xuelang thought the man knew a surprising amount, but had never made a secret of his path and did not consider it further. “Why should someone who cultivates the Emotionless Dao be unable to miss and care for another?”
“What is his name?” the demonic being demanded.
His questions were becoming increasingly urgent and rude. Qian Xuelang replied coldly, “Ren Yijue.”
The demonic being abruptly fell silent.