The more Wei Xiao thought about it, the angrier he became.
That idiot Crown Prince sat in the capital without so much as lifting his backside, yet thought he could open his mouth and order Wei Xiao to travel all this way to investigate a case. If Prince Jin did not have the Yin family’s support, and Prince Cheng were not still so young, why would Wei Xiao ever have backed that fool?
It suddenly struck Wei Xiao as the height of stupidity to have spent day after day exhausting himself at Luanshi Ferry. He shot to his feet, snatched the secret letter from Black Hawk’s hands, and tore it to shreds. In a sinister voice, he uttered two words:
“Back to the residence.”
Under the blazing sun, Zhu Changfeng was working on the riverbank when he saw Wei Xiao leave with his men. He straightened from the water and wiped the sweat from his face. Droplets mixed with muddy water trickled down his neck into his collar, soaking much of his shoulders and back.
A younger member of the Canal Guild named Shuigen waded over and said in a low voice, “Guild Leader, we’ve just found another chest of silver in the mud.”
Zhu Changfeng frowned. “Throw it back in. No more than two chests a day. Slow the work down.”
Shuigen did not understand. “Guild Leader, wouldn’t it be better to finish recovering it sooner and get the job done? Why waste our time here?”
Zhu Changfeng slowly shook his head without answering at once. He watched Wei Xiao and the others recede into the distance, then finally said hoarsely, “You don’t understand.”
The things they were retrieving could cost them their lives. If the Chief Eunuch showed mercy and let them go, so much the better. But if he decided to eliminate future trouble, then once the salt silver was fully recovered, not one of the people working here today would survive.
Remembering Gongsun E’s secret instructions, Zhu Changfeng added gravely, “However many stretches of river remain unchecked, find some way to keep the brothers occupied until the end of the month.”
Shuigen still did not understand, but he nodded his assent, turned, and waded away to pass on the order.
Meanwhile, Wei Xiao returned to the residence in his sedan chair, his anger still burning.
As though drawn there against his better judgment, he turned toward the courtyard where Gongsun E was staying. There he found Gongsun E sitting on the steps beneath the corridor, drying medicinal herbs in the sun. He was picking through a bamboo tray and setting aside the poorer-quality ones.
Remembering Fang Shoulian’s account of how Gongsun E had been brewing medicine for him these past few days, Wei Xiao felt his anger subside in a strangely abrupt way. He wanted to speak, yet could not bring himself to lower his pride.
He took one step forward, then drew back, caught between advancing and retreating.
Gongsun E happened to glance up and spotted Wei Xiao.
Wei Xiao was always dressed in dark-red robes embroidered with pythons. Standing partly concealed behind the white moon gate, he was impossible to miss. Gongsun E set his herbs down and rose to meet him. His eyes passed almost imperceptibly over the mud on Wei Xiao’s boot soles, and he asked warmly, as though making conversation:
“Has Your Excellency just returned from the ferry?”
Wei Xiao had no idea how to answer. All he managed was a stiff “Mm.”
Gongsun E asked again, “Did Your Excellency drink the medicine I had Intendant Fang deliver?”
Again, Wei Xiao gave a stiff “Mm.”
Gongsun E watched his feigned indifference and helpless awkwardness in silence, then suddenly laughed, though no one around them knew why.
“It’s best taken twice a day. There will be another bowl tonight. If Your Excellency is busy with official matters, perhaps I should bring it myself?”
Black Hawk instinctively stepped forward, about to say that he could collect it instead, but Wei Xiao discreetly shoved him back before he could utter a word. Realizing what was going on, Black Hawk promptly lowered his head and shut his mouth.
Wei Xiao stared at Gongsun E, his tone unreadable. “Such trifles can be left to servants. Why trouble yourself to do everything personally?”
Gongsun E’s voice remained gentle. “Other people are other people, and I am myself. When it concerns Your Excellency, I can never quite rest easy leaving it in someone else’s hands.”
A tangle of feelings stirred within Wei Xiao. For a long time, he said nothing.
Only moments earlier, the Crown Prince’s greed and bullying demands had left him seething with frustration. Yet now, faced with Gongsun E’s mild and composed expression, he found nowhere to direct his hostility.
The Crown Prince he supported was selfish and cold, pressing him at every turn and treating him like a chess piece to be moved at will.
Yet Gongsun E, whom he constantly guarded against and repeatedly suspected, remembered his eye condition, took pains to prepare medicine every day, and looked after his safety in everything.
Wei Xiao knew perfectly well that he felt no great loyalty toward the Crown Prince; they were merely using each other. But seeing the two men in such stark contrast made the fallback he had chosen for himself and Gongsun E seem rather less worthwhile.
He concealed the complicated emotions churning in his eyes, remained silent a while longer, then turned his head aside.
“…No need. I’ll have Black Hawk collect it tonight.”
As though he did not know how to face Gongsun E, he made an excuse about official business and hurried away.
Gongsun E remained where he was, watching Wei Xiao disappear around the corner. He smiled, then leisurely sat back down on the steps and resumed drying his herbs.
Hmm. Time for the next, stronger dose.
When night fell, Gongsun E did not wait for Black Hawk to collect the medicine. He picked up the food carrier himself and headed for Wei Xiao’s bedchamber.
Black Hawk was guarding the doorway. At the sight of Gongsun E approaching from a distance, his eyelid gave a violent twitch. He quietly retreated a couple of steps and was just about to enter and announce the visitor when a light voice sounded behind him, stopping him in his tracks.
“Lord Black Hawk, there’s no need to trouble yourself with an announcement. I’ll go in myself.”
Black Hawk turned around, looking rather awkward. After so many years at the Chief Eunuch’s side, he would have lived for nothing if he still failed to understand how the Chief Eunuch felt about Gongsun E.
“I don’t deserve to be addressed as ‘lord’ by you, Lord Gongsun. Please leave the medicine with me. I wouldn’t dare trouble you to deliver it.”
Wei Xiao had been avoiding Gongsun E lately and had specifically instructed them not to admit him.
As he spoke, Black Hawk reached for the food carrier. Gongsun E neither dodged nor moved. He merely watched Black Hawk quietly, a smile resting on his lips. Yet for some reason, those usually gentle, dark eyes seemed to exert an invisible pressure. The longer Black Hawk met their gaze, the harder it became to breathe.
Black Hawk’s hand froze halfway through its reach, as though seized by some inexplicable force.
Just as Black Hawk found himself unable either to advance or retreat, a low voice came from inside the room, startling him through the closed door.
“Let him in.”
Black Hawk breathed a private sigh of relief and immediately stepped aside. “Please, Lord Gongsun.”
“Much obliged.”
Gongsun E smiled, passed Black Hawk, and pushed the door open.
Only one lamp burned inside, on the writing desk. Wei Xiao sat behind it with a ledger recording the quantities of salt silver recovered over the past few days. When he saw Gongsun E, his gaze lingered on the other’s face for a moment before he unobtrusively closed the book.
“Didn’t I tell you to let Black Hawk collect it? Why have you brought it yourself?”
As he spoke, he rose to meet Gongsun E, took the food carrier from his hands, and set it at the corner of the desk. He had only just lifted the lid when Gongsun E said:
“I wanted to see Your Excellency, so I came myself.”
Wei Xiao’s hands paused.
Gongsun E had been spouting honeyed words so freely these past few days that Wei Xiao could hardly keep up. If he wanted something from Wei Xiao, surely there was no need to go this far.
He turned to face him, preparing to speak, only to meet Gongsun E’s dark eyes without warning. They were clear and unclouded, without a trace of probing or evasion. Gongsun E looked at him so gently and earnestly that the words died on Wei Xiao’s lips.
“…”
Wei Xiao stood stunned for a moment. Coming to his senses, he immediately looked away. As though hoping to conceal his panic, he feigned composure, set the lid of the food carrier aside, and asked a foolish question without thinking:
“…Where’s the medicine?”
“Inside.” Gongsun E sounded perfectly natural, as though he had not noticed Wei Xiao’s turmoil. “I added some licorice today. It shouldn’t be quite so bitter.”
Wei Xiao lifted out the bowl and took a distracted sip. It was indeed milder than the last one. His voice thick with mixed feelings, he asked, “Is this what you’ve been doing in the courtyard these past few days? Brewing this?”
Gongsun E nodded. “I’ve had little else to occupy me. Making medicine isn’t much trouble.”
Wei Xiao said nothing more.
He sat by the desk and silently finished the bowl. Despite the addition of licorice, it was still bitter enough to make him frown.
Watching Wei Xiao’s brow crease of its own accord, Gongsun E said gently, “Good medicine tastes bitter. Drink a few more doses, Your Excellency, and that old ailment should improve somewhat.”
Wei Xiao set down the bowl, raised his eyes to Gongsun E, and hesitated before speaking.
“You came tonight. Isn’t there something you want to say to me?”
He was thinking that if Gongsun E asked him for Shen Wanjin as a witness, he might truly hand the man over.
All Gongsun E had to do was ask. Wei Xiao was prepared to accept it.
As for how he would answer to the Crown Prince, to hell with him.
It wasn’t enough for that man to pocket the salt silver; he wanted to silence everyone involved as well. Since when had things been so convenient?
Gongsun E, however, remained silent. After watching Wei Xiao for a moment, he slowly replied, “If you ask whether I have something to say, I suppose I do. But in another sense, I don’t.”
Wei Xiao frowned. “What do you mean?”
Gongsun E smiled. “Your Excellency has grown considerably thinner these past few days, no doubt from working too hard at the ferry. I wanted to urge you to eat a little more, but then I thought you probably wouldn’t listen. So whether I say it hardly matters.”
As he spoke, he slowly leaned toward Wei Xiao and gently cupped his cheek, his gaze settling on that blind, blue-gray eye.
Wei Xiao’s lashes trembled violently as Gongsun E drew near. He instinctively turned his head to evade the touch, but Gongsun E murmured by his ear, “If Your Excellency will listen to one thing I say, then please take proper care of yourself. From now on, I’ll prepare your medicine every day, and you’ll drink it on time. All right?”
Wei Xiao faltered. He had never expected that to be all Gongsun E wanted to say.
He remained rigid, half his face cradled gently in Gongsun E’s hand, warmth seeping little by little through his skin. That blind eye could see nothing at all, yet beneath Gongsun E’s gaze he felt as though the look itself burned hotter than the midday sun.
His voice came out a little hoarse. “That’s all you want?”
Gongsun E did not let go. Instead, he gave a quiet laugh. “What else would I want?”
At last Wei Xiao looked directly at Gongsun E. Slowly he lifted a hand and grasped the fingers resting against his cheek. When he spoke, his low voice carried a tangle of emotions, but his words were steady.
“Gongsun E, if it’s Shen Wanjin you want, say so now. I’ll hand him over to you alive this instant.”
Gongsun E went almost imperceptibly still.
He did not immediately withdraw his hand. He first lowered his eyes to the fingers held in Wei Xiao’s grasp, then slowly raised his head and asked in a low voice stripped of discernible emotion:
“So, in Your Excellency’s eyes, everything I’ve done has been for some ulterior purpose?”
Wei Xiao frowned and opened his mouth to explain, but Gongsun E interrupted him without haste. “I’ve spent these past few days brewing and delivering medicine only because I’ve been thinking about your eye, worried that you’d exhaust yourself working day and night to answer to the Crown Prince. It never occurred to me to trade any of this for something else.”
He paused, and his voice cooled. “I calculated every possibility, yet somehow never imagined Your Excellency would suspect me of this. In that case, there’s nothing left to explain. I don’t want Shen Wanjin. Kill him or cut him to pieces as you please. You can keep him.”
With that, he slowly drew his fingers from Wei Xiao’s palm, looking for all the world as though his heart had truly been chilled.
For some reason Wei Xiao panicked at the sight. He seized Gongsun E’s hand, his voice dark. “That isn’t what I meant.”
Gongsun E glanced at him calmly. “Your Excellency knows perfectly well whether you meant it.”
Wei Xiao clenched his teeth in silence. “I said I didn’t, and I didn’t!”
Gongsun E said nothing, but he did not struggle either.
He lowered his gaze to the patterned carpet on the floor, apparently lost in thought. A moment later, he spoke softly. “Do you know? My mother died just after I was born.”
Wei Xiao was taken aback.
Perhaps because the change of subject was so abrupt, it caught him quite off guard.
Gongsun E’s voice was low, blurred with distant memories. “I’ve never seen what she looked like. I don’t know anything about her life, either. My father never said a word about her. All I know is that she gave me my childhood name, Zhuiming. Zhuiming: to follow the light toward brightness, never to be trapped in darkness.”
He paused, then continued.
“There were four of us children in the family. My father expected the most of me. But the year I defied our family’s ancestral rules and entered official service, he was furious. He berated me bitterly and drove me out of the family home. Outsiders simply never learned of it.”
Wei Xiao was startled again. He had never expected to hear any of this, much less imagined that Gongsun E, seemingly so upright and untroubled, born to such a distinguished family, had suffered such things behind the scenes.
He opened his mouth to offer comfort, but everything he could think of seemed too insubstantial. After a moment’s silence, he asked quietly, “Your father… was he truly willing to drive you out?”
If Wei Xiao had been in his place, he thought, he could never have borne to let Gongsun E suffer so much…
Gongsun E gently shook his head. His voice was calm and held no trace of resentment. “The day he cast me out, he said he would pretend he had never had a son like me.”
As he finished, he slowly lifted his eyes toward Wei Xiao. Without a sound, he took Wei Xiao’s cold hand and drew it against his own chest. Perhaps it was only an illusion, but his voice seemed softer, even a little pitiful.
“Now Your Excellency is the only one I have left.”
Elio’s Notes
Zhuiming (逐明): Gongsun E says his mother chose this childhood name for him. The characters evoke pursuing light and moving toward brightness; a childhood name is more personal than an official name or title.