On Saturday, May 14, Shao Wu and Yang Shuyi returned to Yongchuan.
They first went to visit Yang Long and Auntie Xiajuan’s graves. A light rain drifted over Yongchuan, washing the blue-gray headstone until it was spotless. They had brought two oranges, a handful of cherries, and a bouquet of lilies to lay before it, their colors strikingly bright. Yang Shuyi knelt and slowly bowed his head to the ground.
Then he rose and stood silently staring at the headstone while Shao Wu held an umbrella over him. Behind them, vivid pink morning glories were blooming in the grass, their blossoms trembling gently beneath the raindrops. Photographs of Yang Long and Xiajuan were attached to the stone. They had both been only in their early forties, their youthful smiles like the flowers behind them.
A few minutes later, Yang Shuyi said, “Let’s go back.”
Shao Wu turned to the grave and bowed. In his heart, he said, Please don’t worry. Shuyi is doing well. Longlong is doing well too.
On the bus back, Yang Shuyi said, “When I was choosing my university major, I wondered whether studying geography might give me a chance to find them.”
Shao Wu was stunned for a moment. “You…”
“But I liked the subject anyway,” Yang Shuyi said with a gentle smile. “Only later did I realize there was almost no chance of finding them… It all happened so suddenly. The day before the accident, Auntie Xiajuan had even phoned home to ask whether Longlong had been doing her homework. Back then, I wished so badly that it was all a dream, that one day I’d wake up and they’d still be here.”
His tone was calm. It seemed the kind of heartbreaking agony that had once consumed him could no longer be heard in his voice.
Still, Shao Wu held his hand tightly.
Eyes lowered, Yang Shuyi went on, “Later, I felt as if I’d never woken from that dream. Grandpa died, Grandma got sick, Zou Xin kept lying to me… I don’t even know why everything turned into such a mess. I even began wondering if I was like the man in The Truman Show, living in a fake world that someone had arranged for me.” He spoke more and more slowly, his voice sinking lower until it rasped across Shao Wu’s heart like sandpaper. “Then, that day you came looking for me in Wenchuan, you stepped off the coach carrying a black bag, wearing such thin clothes. All at once, all at once I understood something. If this unlucky life of mine was fake, if it was all a dream, how could you have appeared in it?”
Yang Shuyi shook his head to himself, still avoiding Shao Wu’s eyes, almost embarrassed. “You’re so good to me. You’re the only stroke of luck I’ve ever had… So I haven’t been completely unlucky.”
“Things will get better,” Shao Wu said.
Yang Shuyi smiled. “They’re already good.”
Together, they stopped at a restaurant and ordered several dishes to take away, then carried them to Great-Aunt’s home. Grandma opened the door. Her cheeks were rosy and her hair was almost white, giving her an unexpectedly youthful look.
“Shuyi! Xiao Shao!” Grandma beamed, her voice full of excitement. “You’re back! Come in, come in!”
“Grandma, how have you been feeling lately?” Shao Wu asked.
“Wonderful!” As Grandma poured them water, Shao Wu’s heart rose into his throat, afraid she might lose her grip on the kettle.
But the mishap he imagined didn’t happen. Grandma steadily poured two glasses of hot water and handed them over.
They set out the food and sat around the table, all four of them eating and chatting. Grandma was just as she’d been the last time they met. One minute she asked whether work was going well, the next how they’d done on their exams, and then why Longlong wasn’t home from school yet… Yang Shuyi patiently humored her. Longlong was already at university in Beijing; their jobs were going well; Xiao Shao had come first in his class…
“Oh, oh.” Grandma scooped up a spoonful of shrimp like a little girl and nodded repeatedly. “That’s good, then.”
Shao Wu and Great-Aunt exchanged a look, and Great-Aunt gave him a helpless smile.
Shao Wu felt a pang of sorrow, yet he was thankful that at least Grandma could spend her remaining years in peace.
After the meal, Great-Aunt was the first to take the dishes into the kitchen. Yang Shuyi suddenly said, “Xiao Shao, give Great-Aunt a hand cleaning up.”
“Oh, right.” Shao Wu was so accustomed to Yang Shuyi doing the washing up that only now did he think of it. He hurried into the kitchen. “Great-Aunt, I’ll wash!”
“Go sit down. You must be tired from all that traveling today.”
“I’m fine. I’m not tired.” Shao Wu rolled up his sleeves, picked up a rag, and wiped down the stove.
Working together, they finished quickly. Great-Aunt told Shao Wu to go and sit down while she waited in the kitchen for the electric kettle to boil. Shao Wu went out and sat on the sofa. Yang Shuyi and Grandma were in the inner bedroom, with the door half closed. Shao Wu wasn’t deliberately eavesdropping. Grandma was getting hard of hearing, so Yang Shuyi had to raise his voice to talk to her. Shao Wu could hear every word.
At the same time, he could tell that Yang Shuyi was struggling to keep his voice under control.
So he’d sent me to help clean up just to get me out of the way?
“Which Zou Xin?” Grandma asked.
“Niuniu!” Yang Shuyi said. “Remember? You even went to our wedding!”
“So she’s called Zou Xin? I thought her name was Niuniu.”
“Yeah! Grandma, we’re not living together anymore!”
“Why not?”
“Because we just couldn’t make it work!”
“Oh…”
“I’m working in Chongqing now!”
“Aren’t you studying in Chongqing?”
“I graduated! I’m finished with school!”
“Oh…”
After two seconds of silence, Yang Shuyi said, “I’m living with Xiao Shao now!”
Shao Wu nearly jumped out of his skin.
He whipped his head toward the kitchen. Fortunately, the kitchen door was shut, and Great-Aunt was still inside waiting for the water to boil.
Goose bumps rose all over him. Why on earth was Yang Shuyi saying these things?
Grandma’s voice drifted out again. “Huh? You’re living at Xiao Shao’s place?”
“Yeah! We’re living together, and it’s wonderful!”
Shao Wu broke into a cold sweat.
But immediately afterward, he heard Grandma laugh.
“Good! Xiao Shao’s so good at studying. You should let him tutor you more!”
“That’s exactly what I was thinking!”
“So your dad won’t keep scolding you for fooling around all day.”
Yang Shuyi laughed too. “Don’t worry. I’m not fooling around anymore!”
And just like that, the subject of the divorce was over. Yang Shuyi seemed to have managed to come out to Grandma in passing, too… But Shao Wu understood that Grandma hadn’t grasped what he meant. She could no longer even remember whether her grandson was married.
They stayed at Great-Aunt’s for the night, then took the high-speed train back to Chongqing the following day.
On the way, Shao Wu asked, “Why did you suddenly tell Grandma all that?”
Yang Shuyi raised an eyebrow. “You heard?”
“Mm.”
“I thought I should tell her.” Yang Shuyi turned his face toward the window. “I used to think she’d only stop worrying once I was married, so I needed to get married while she was still reasonably lucid… Now I think that since I’m happy, she ought to know that too, shouldn’t she?”
He sighed softly. “But she doesn’t understand anymore. She’ll probably forget by tomorrow.”
Shao Wu didn’t know what to say and sat in silence. Yang Shuyi turned to look at him, then smiled. “Almost forgot… I’m not used to it yet.”
He unzipped a pocket of his jacket and carefully pinched their rings out from inside. The two bands were the same size, so there was no way to tell whose was whose. Shao Wu took one and slipped it back onto his ring finger.
Yang Shuyi put his on as well, then quickly squeezed Shao Wu’s hand. The two rings touched, making a faint, clear chime.
“We could come back every weekend from now on,” Shao Wu said.
A smile at the corners of his mouth, Yang Shuyi nodded.
The high-speed train sped through fine rain. Outside the window lay Chongqing’s summer in countless shades of misty green, the same summer repeated layer upon layer through Shao Wu’s memories… He recalled so many things. Turning in math class to sneak a look at Yang Shuyi and getting caught by Old Chen. Zhu Jingjing laughing as she teased Zhou Lei and Han Huiyuan. Bringing Yang Shuyi a bowl of xiaomian for breakfast on a winter morning… And the Spring Festival of 2007, when he’d gone to Yang Shuyi’s home for dinner and met Yang Long for the first time. He hadn’t been the terrifying brute Shao Wu had imagined. Auntie Xiajuan’s cooking had been delicious. Yang Long had got drunk and said over and over, Our family’s been through a lot this year, but it’s all behind us! When you hit rock bottom, things turn around. Things turn around…
In truth, things hadn’t turned around at all.
In the many years afterward, while he loved Yang Shuyi with something approaching madness, Shao Wu had slowly come to understand that good fortune and misfortune were seldom balanced in this world. Neither were effort and reward. Fate and love were not things in which diligence necessarily earned its due.
He had been bewildered by that. He had resented it.
But now, as the train approached the familiar Shapingba Railway Station, Yang Shuyi sat beside him with his chin propped in one hand, choosing takeaway food on his phone. At this moment, Shao Wu decided to forgive everything. To make peace with everything.
He thought that he and Yang Shuyi would stay together and live well through all the time remaining to them, every day flowing onward as naturally as clouds across the sky and water down a river.