When news reached Wei Xiao that Gongsun E had tried to take his own life in prison, he was standing behind his desk, drafting a secret letter to the Crown Prince.
At Black Hawk’s report, his wrist jerked, dragging a wild streak of ink across the paper. He kept the brush in his hand and slowly raised his head. His eyes narrowed, and his deep voice carried a trace of disbelief.
“What did you say? Gongsun E tried to kill himself?”
“Er…”
Black Hawk faltered. He thought the news sounded absurd himself, but he braced himself and repeated it.
“I heard Lord Gongsun struck his head against a wall in the prison. His head was covered in blood, and when the guards went in, he was unconscious. A physician has examined him and says he’s out of danger, but for some reason he still hasn’t woken. I took the liberty of moving him out of the prison and settling him in a bedroom in the side courtyard.”
Clatter!
Wei Xiao said nothing. He merely flung aside the writing brush. He fixed Black Hawk with an icy stare and spoke through clenched teeth, stressing each word.
“Has water gotten into your head, or have you gone blind like this Chief Eunuch? You actually believe that nonsense about Gongsun E killing himself?”
After being thoroughly berated, Black Hawk lowered his head in shame. “This subordinate finds it hard to believe too. But the guards said they saw him lying in the straw, his head covered in blood…”
“Saw him?” Wei Xiao laughed coldly. “Since when have those damned eyes of theirs been of any use? Gongsun E is the sort of man who would be perfectly alive even after this Chief Eunuch was dead. Tell me, would someone on the verge of solving the missing salt-silver case suddenly kill himself by smashing his head against a wall?”
He spoke faster and faster, nearly forcing the last words out between his teeth. Black Hawk did not dare answer and stood silent.
Wei Xiao stared at him for a moment, then suddenly turned toward the door, leaving behind a curt order.
“Lead the way.”
“Yes.”
Wei Xiao was certain Gongsun E would never take his own life.
But what if he had?
Suppressing the anxious thoughts churning inside him, Wei Xiao hurried to the side courtyard with Black Hawk. It was late at night, and the courtyard was utterly still. Only two lanterns beneath the veranda swayed gently in the wind.
Wei Xiao dismissed the people posted outside and pushed straight into the room. A single lamp burned inside, casting just enough dim yellow light to reveal the bedside.
Gongsun E lay on the bed with his eyes closed. Thick gauze encircled his forehead, faintly seeping blood. His skin was naturally paler than most people’s, but now he seemed paler still, though perhaps it was only an illusion. Someone had changed him into clean silk clothes. The garments he had worn in the dungeon lay carelessly discarded on the floor, still marked by great, alarming patches of blood.
Clearly, Black Hawk’s account was not entirely fabricated.
An elderly physician with graying hair had been dozing on a low stool. At the sound of the door, he snapped awake, recognized Wei Xiao, and hurriedly rose to salute him.
“Greetings, Your Excellency.”
Wei Xiao did not spare him a glance. Keeping his eyes on the man in bed, he asked, “How serious are his injuries?”
The old physician bowed and answered cautiously, “Your Excellency, Lord Gongsun’s wound is… very serious indeed. There’s a great gash on his forehead, and he lost almost half a bowl of blood. When this old man arrived, he was barely breathing. He’ll need at least a month to recover, with ginseng administered every day just to sustain his strength. Only then might he pull through.”
As he spoke, he even sighed with an air of grave authority and shook his head repeatedly.
Wei Xiao listened without expression and finally turned to look at him. “Are you certain?”
The old physician nodded emphatically. “How would I dare deceive Your Excellency? Such blood loss would be perilous for anyone.”
Wei Xiao did not answer at once. Standing beside the bed, he stared at the bloodstained bandage around Gongsun E’s forehead for a while before asking, “Then when will he wake?”
The physician paused and counted on his fingers. “That… at least three to five days, I’d say. Lord Gongsun has a strong constitution, so it could be sooner. But one cannot be sure.”
Realizing how muddled his answers sounded, he hurriedly added, “Your Excellency, rest assured. This old man will spare no effort and come to examine him every day.”
Wei Xiao ignored him, frowned, and waved a hand. As if pardoned from a death sentence, the physician gathered his medicine chest and crept out. Black Hawk tactfully withdrew too, taking up his post outside the door.
Only the two of them remained, and the room fell completely silent.
Wei Xiao sat soundlessly by the bed and reached out to feel Gongsun E’s forehead. His palm met cool skin. He shifted his hand toward the bandage, fingertips hovering for a moment above the place where blood had seeped through. In the end, he did not dare touch it and slowly returned his hand to his knee.
“Gongsun E,” he called softly.
The man on the bed gave no response. His breathing was even and his face pale. He truly looked unconscious.
How terribly familiar this scene was.
For days, Wei Xiao had been unable to understand how his relationship with Gongsun E, once as hostile as fire and water, had crossed one boundary after another and arrived here.
Thinking it over, perhaps everything had begun with the assassination attempt at the ruined temple several months earlier. He had sent Black Hawk to follow and protect Gongsun E secretly, and the badly wounded man had been rescued and brought back. Back then, too, Gongsun E had lain on a bed barely breathing, his shoulder swathed in bloodstained gauze, his face nearly translucent with pallor.
From that night onward, Gongsun E’s attitude toward him had changed completely…
Sitting beside the bed, Wei Xiao absently rubbed the old sachet hanging at his waist and closed his eyes.
Why did suspicion arise in his heart? Why could his thoughts find no peace?
Why did gaining what he longed for only make him afraid, as though even close at hand they were separated by ten thousand mountains?
Why could they gaze at each other yet fail to draw close, sharing a quilt while still dreaming separately in the cold?
Too many tangled thoughts crowded his heart, with nowhere to go.
Wei Xiao had been stretched taut for days. As he leaned against the bedpost and thought, his eyelids gradually drooped. The last candle burned down, its glow fading until the shadows drew inward and only a little moonlight came through the lattice window, spilling hazily across the floor.
At some point in that quiet moment, the man lying in bed silently opened his eyes.
Bracing himself with one hand, Gongsun E slowly sat up without a sound. He watched Wei Xiao, who appeared to have fallen asleep against the bedpost. Even in sleep, the man’s brows were faintly furrowed, as though he carried endless worries.
After watching a while, Gongsun E unconsciously reached out to smooth the crease between his brows. But the instant his fingertips touched Wei Xiao’s forehead, someone seized his wrist.
“…”
Gongsun E paused and lowered his eyes to the hand locked around his wrist.
Wei Xiao had not fallen deeply asleep.
He had always been vigilant. He had sensed Gongsun E moving the moment he sat up but simply had not opened his eyes. Now his eyelids lifted without a sound. His dark pupils were perfectly clear, with none of the haze of someone just awakened. His voice was low and husky.
“Gongsun E. So you really were pretending.”
Gongsun E did not struggle. He only let out a helpless laugh.
In the dim night, his deep voice sounded unhurried beside Wei Xiao’s ear, as though being caught out meant nothing at all.
“Your Excellency, I only lost consciousness for a while and happened to wake just now. How does that mean I was pretending?”
Wei Xiao sat up straighter, tightening his grip on Gongsun E’s wrist. “Do you take this Chief Eunuch for a three-year-old child? To think you’d invent a ridiculous tale about smashing your head against a wall to kill yourself!”
“You don’t believe me, Your Excellency? Then would you like to examine the wound yourself?”
As he spoke, Gongsun E lifted a hand as though to tear the bandage from his forehead, but Wei Xiao caught and pinned his hand, scolding him in a low voice.
“Don’t move!”
Gongsun E let his hand fall still under Wei Xiao’s grip. The faint smile remained at his lips as he sighed softly.
“Your Excellency won’t let go, yet you refuse to believe me. You certainly put me in a difficult position.”
Wei Xiao’s fingertips tightened involuntarily. “Even if you’re truly hurt, it’s only a self-injury scheme to deceive this Chief Eunuch.”
Gongsun E asked a question whose meaning was hard to pin down. “If Your Excellency is convinced it’s a ruse, then why did you come?”
“You!”
Wei Xiao choked on his fury, his chest rising and falling unevenly.
He glared at Gongsun E. After several breaths, he abruptly swept his sleeves aside, stood up, and strode toward the door. Yet for some reason, he stopped at the threshold and, without looking back, spoke coldly in a lowered voice.
“This Chief Eunuch came because this Chief Eunuch is a fool. Even knowing you were putting on an act, I was still afraid you might smash your head and die. Gongsun E, are you satisfied now?”
Without waiting for an answer, Wei Xiao moved to push open the door, but another hand pressed against it first. However hard he pushed, the door would not budge. A helpless murmur sounded beside his ear.
“Are you truly angry, Your Excellency?”
At some point Gongsun E had silently stepped behind Wei Xiao, drawing him loosely into the space of his arms without making a show of it. Looking down at the other’s pale earlobe, he spoke quietly, his voice laden with an intimacy difficult to name.
“I did use a self-injury ruse. But if I hadn’t, how else would Your Excellency have come to see me?”
Wei Xiao’s fingers clenched around the door latch. Refusing to turn around, he gritted out, “So what if I came to see you?”
“Nothing in particular,” Gongsun E answered sincerely. “I simply wanted to see Your Excellency.”
Wei Xiao gave a cold laugh. “Lord Gongsun’s tongue is getting better and better at coaxing people.”
A barely visible smile touched Gongsun E’s lips. His warm breath brushed the side of Wei Xiao’s neck. “In this lifetime, Your Excellency is the only person I’ve ever coaxed.”
Wei Xiao said nothing. His expression was dark and scornful, convinced that Gongsun E was plotting another trick. “If you’ve got real ability, Gongsun E, then use it. Stop resorting to these underhanded ploys. Doesn’t all that sweet talk make you afraid you’ll trip over your own tongue?”
“Real ability? In what respect does Your Excellency mean?”
Perhaps he found that he could not see Wei Xiao’s face properly from behind. Gongsun E slowly released the door, stepped around in front of him, and leaned against it, completely blocking his way out.
“I’d be willing to demonstrate, but I’m afraid Your Excellency might not be willing.”
He deliberately softened and slowed his tone, inviting the suspicion that his words held another meaning. Yet he still wore the detached, open-hearted air of an immortal descended from heaven, only a faint, almost teasing ripple of a smile in his eyes.
Wei Xiao unexpectedly met those deep, smiling eyes, and his heart gave a sudden leap. His voice grew colder. “Move.”
“I haven’t finished speaking. Is Your Excellency already in such a hurry to leave?”
“This Chief Eunuch doesn’t want to hear a single word of your nonsense.”
“Not even if it concerns the whereabouts of the salt silver?”
At those words, Wei Xiao’s motion toward the door stopped instantly. He slowly lifted his head and stared at Gongsun E for a moment, uncertainty and astonishment crossing his face.
“You know where the salt silver is?”
Gongsun E seemed to smile, though it was barely noticeable.
Lowering his eyelids, he gently brushed his cool fingertips beneath Wei Xiao’s blind eye. After a moment of silence, he murmured a question in return.
“If I tell you, how does Your Excellency intend to thank me, hmm?”
That final, seemingly casual “hmm” sent a tingle through the heart, unsettling even the rhythm of breathing for half a beat.