“Let me drive for a while, Brother.” Pei Yan took off his shearling hat with earflaps and rubbed his head.
“No need.” Zhuang Xiao drove steadily, eyes fixed on the country road buried beneath thick snow. “Put your hat back on. You’ll freeze.”
“I’m fine.” Pei Yan grinned. “My head just doesn’t get cold. I’m used to it, haha.”
“I’m worried you’ll get tired driving this far by yourself,” he added.
“I’m not tired. I know what I’m doing behind the wheel,” Zhuang Xiao said. “You don’t. I’m afraid you’ll drive us into a ditch!”
Haha. Pei Yan swatted a hand toward the side of Zhuang Xiao’s face and used a move called “White Ape Presents Fruit,” but only brushed him lightly without putting any force into it. Still not satisfied, he followed it with another offering, this time a kiss, planting a loud smack on Brother Xiao’s cheek.
Deep in China’s Northeast in February, heavy snow was still falling everywhere. The drifts had buried the narrow roads until their outlines were almost invisible, so Zhuang Xiao could only creep forward by feel. He was wearing a big fur hat too, and both men were bundled in thick winter clothes even inside the car. Neither of them handled the cold well.
They were driving toward a forestry district in the Northeast, heading back to the place where Zhuang Xiao had once filmed a variety show, revisiting an old haunt.
“Hey, think we’ll run into highway robbers?” Pei Yan wondered aloud. There had been plenty of stories like that around tourist destinations in the news lately.
Outside the windows were wild mountains and empty country, completely unfamiliar territory.
“Rob who?” Zhuang Xiao said. “Us?”
“Heh.” Pei Yan laughed.
“Fuck, who’d be blind enough to rob us?” A faint dimple appeared on Zhuang Xiao’s face.
“Bandits, road thugs, bring them on. Send five hundred!” Pei Yan laughed. “You take out two hundred and fifty, I’ll handle the other two hundred and fifty!”
“If they send fewer than that, we won’t even entertain them,” Zhuang Xiao sneered.
“Hahahaha!” Pei Yan laughed freely.
“That snow is incredible.” Standing in the village, Pei Yan looked out across the landscape. “The scenery is gorgeous.”
“Thinking about buying a house and moving here again?” Zhuang Xiao asked.
“I’m a little tempted. It’s beautiful,” Pei Yan said.
“Who was it last time saying he wanted to buy a house in Chengdu and retire there?” Zhuang Xiao gave the lunatic a look.
“Hehe, I’m not old yet, so I’m only thinking ahead.” Pei Yan grinned like a child and leapt three feet into the air, kicking up a spray of snow.
“Brother, snowball fight?” He suddenly turned around and scooped up a handful of snow.
“…” Zhuang Xiao froze for half a beat. How childish are you?
A snowball was already flying straight into Zhuang Xiao’s face. Smack!
Provoking a male lion right under his nose? Zhuang Xiao took a faceful of snow, white flecks hanging from his brows and lashes. He muttered a curse and launched an angry counterattack.
Pei Yan wisely turned and ran. Zhuang Xiao grabbed a handful of snow and chased him down, catching up from behind and slapping the snow against the back of Pei Yan’s neck. Pei Yan howled with laughter, and the two tangled together and rolled down the snowy slope like human sleds, shooting straight down the steep incline.
They lay flat on their backs at the bottom of the slope, staring up into the brilliant blue sky, their minds peaceful and their hearts somehow wide open.
Pei Yan rolled over. “Hey, why not shoot a movie here?”
“What movie?” Zhuang Xiao looked at him.
“That script they’ve been approaching you about lately, the remake of Tracks in the Snowy Forest?” Pei Yan said. “Yang Zirong. Who else could play him but you? Just do it!”
Elio’s Notes: Tracks in the Snowy Forest (《林海雪原》) is a well-known Chinese novel centered in part on the scout hero Yang Zirong, whose name Pei Yan invokes here.
“Then I’ll read the script carefully,” Zhuang Xiao said. “I don’t know whether they’ve hidden a grenade in his crotch. I need to read the script before I decide.”
“Then let me check whether you’ve got a grenade hidden in your crotch…” Pei Yan said, already reaching mischievously under Brother Xiao’s coat.
“Fuck off!” Zhuang Xiao shoved him away, laughing. “If there is a grenade, try it and see whether it explodes.”
“Come on, explode!” Pei Yan challenged him. “Explode all over me! Let the blood fly!”
Zhuang Xiao rolled on top of him and turned his face toward him, fondness and infatuation written all over his expression. He said softly, “Let’s have a lamb hotpot first. Wait until tonight.”
Tonight we’ll heat the kang until it’s nice and warm. Then I’ll explode all over you, tear you into pieces, and devour every last bit.
Zhuang Xiao said every word of that with his eyes, then lowered his head and kissed Mr. Pei on the lips.
A thin string of saliva stretched between the corners of their mouths, then instantly “froze into a thread.” Snap. It actually iced over. Their lips nearly froze together so tightly they could not pull apart.
*