The instant Zilang saw Bihua Lingjun, he looked at him pitifully, full of hope, as though salvation had just arrived.
Bihua very much wanted to pretend he had seen nothing. Danzhu did like taking liberties, but they were always little liberties; he was not likely to do anything more. Besides, Danzhu had apparently given Zilang a dose of immortal energy, enough for him to take human form, which was hardly a bad thing. But poor Zilang had never experienced anything like this. His beast form was coarse and ugly, yet his heart was terribly delicate. Clearly, Danzhu’s attentions had frightened him badly.
Bihua had no choice but to walk over. Danzhu watched him approach at his leisure, wondering how Qingxi would react to this show of jealousy.
No sooner had Bihua stopped beside Zilang than the young man secretly caught hold of the hem of his robe. Danzhu swept a casual glance over the hand. Bihua smiled at him. “Zilang can take human form already? Your Majesty must have favored him and bestowed some of your power.” Then he looked down at Zilang. “Quickly, thank His Majesty.”
“Mm, I had nothing better to do,” Danzhu said. “You’ve been devoting so much attention to him lately that I called him over to have a look.” Stroking his chin, he added, “Now that he’s transformed, he’s turned out rather presentable. More than I expected.”
Zilang trembled, clutching Bihua’s robe as though it were a lifeline. Danzhu could not help glancing at his hand again. “He’s terribly afraid of me. Qingxi, do you feel sorry for him? What do you think of what I’ve done?”
Bihua found that a little strange. Danzhu usually took liberties without a second thought and never troubled to ask anyone what they thought afterward. Why was he asking for Bihua’s opinion today?
Bihua replied in his most dignified, official manner, “Your care and affection for your juniors move me deeply.” Seeing Danzhu frown a little, he wondered, Surely all that flattery ought to be enough? Is His Majesty still not satisfied?
Danzhu frowned, then said, “Mm, Qingxi, let me put it another way. Between me and him, whom do you think is better?” Apparently, Danzhu hadn’t had his fill of taking liberties with little Zilang and now wanted to take liberties with Bihua while he was at it. Bihua answered earnestly at once. “In my eyes, you surpass all the brilliance of Heaven. Zilang is merely a small linlang beast. There can be no comparison between you at all.”
Bihua had long since learned how to stroke Danzhu’s feathers the right way. He knew that answer would leave the emperor utterly satisfied.
Sure enough, Danzhu beamed with delight. Qingxi, Qingxi! I never imagined your feelings for me had grown this deep. Even when I show jealousy, you take it as affection for the younger generation. Such limitless devotion, such steadfast love!
A halo of satisfaction began to glow around Danzhu, quite beyond his control. Bihua seized the chance to help Zilang to his feet. Danzhu said, “Ah, I shouldn’t have teased the child just now. I’ve rather wronged him. Go on, comfort him properly.”
Bihua murmured his assent and swiftly led Zilang away without attracting notice, while Danzhu was still shining with contentment.
Zilang had received a terrible fright. The small amount of immortal energy Danzhu had casually bestowed was equivalent to a thousand years of cultivation for him, and he had no idea how to use it. He crouched dazedly to one side, unable even to turn back into a beast. Bihua personally spent half the day teaching him before Zilang finally regained his ugly linlang form and curled up to sleep in a corner.
But at bedtime, the moment Bihua saw the heated gaze with which Danzhu watched him from the bed, he realized he had carried his flattery rather too far.
Danzhu lifted one hand. A flash of brilliance crossed Bihua’s vision, and somehow he was already lying on the bed. Danzhu slipped a hand inside his robe and brushed his lips lightly against Bihua’s neck. “Qingxi, there’s no need to be shy. There are still things between us that ought to have happened and haven’t. It’s time we did them.”
Danzhu’s hand was straying farther and farther where it ought not to go. Bihua had no choice but to catch and hold it. “Your Majesty, wait.”
Danzhu laughed softly. “Why call me Your Majesty at a time like this? Qingxi, don’t worry. I’ll help you discover the pleasures of dual cultivation, little by little.”
“Your Majesty,” Bihua Lingjun said, “this matter can only be pleasurable if both parties are willing.”
Danzhu touched Bihua’s lips. “You mean you aren’t willing?” Then, as though something had occurred to him, he added, “I understand. Is it that you dislike being the one beneath?” Suddenly he lifted Bihua upward and lay back beneath him. “I don’t particularly mind being above or below. We can cultivate however you like.”
Bihua felt a dull ache beginning in his forehead. With a rueful smile he said, “Your Majesty, it seems I must explain myself clearly today. In truth, my feelings toward Your Majesty have always been those of reverence, never romantic affection. When Your Majesty first favored me with your feelings, I dared not refuse you, so I made the excuse that I needed time to think and used it to evade the matter. I have been terribly at fault. I have thought it over carefully these past few days, but all I feel for Your Majesty is respect and admiration, nothing more. To engage in dual cultivation with Your Majesty today merely to keep up appearances would be a betrayal of my conscience, and an even greater wrong to Your Majesty.”
Bihua forced himself to say it all in one breath. Danzhu slowly released his hand, and Bihua took the chance to retreat half a chi and lower his head respectfully. Leaning against the headboard, Danzhu sighed. “Qingxi, you needn’t go to such trouble making up polite excuses. I understand now. You… you’re just like Baihua. You’re afraid of me too. I expect you’ve always thought I was an irritating old fool, haven’t you?”
Bihua did not know how to answer. Danzhu sighed again. “How pitiful. So many years ago, I imagined someone returned my feelings. So many years later, here I am imagining it again.” He raised his eyes to Bihua. “You needn’t worry. When I was young and foolish, I resorted to coercion. Now I know there are some things you cannot obtain by force.”
Danzhu was usually resplendent with immortal light, imposing and full of vigor. He spoke with the airs of someone very old, occupied a lofty position, and received profound respect from nearly every immortal in Heaven. Yet his face had always been youthful. His overwhelming presence simply made everyone overlook that fact.
Now his beautiful dream of “Qingxi has fallen in love with me” lay shattered. Leaning against the headboard, Danzhu suddenly looked weary and marked by the passing years. His immortal light had faded until it was scarcely visible. He sighed bitterly. “In the end, it was all wishful thinking on my part. No one really likes me.”
Danzhu had always been extraordinarily beautiful, and in his dejection he suddenly possessed a frail beauty that made Bihua feel guilty despite himself. “Actually, I am much to blame in this matter. If only at the beginning…”
Danzhu lifted a hand. “Don’t take the blame on yourself. You’ve done nothing wrong. I’ve made things difficult for you lately.” He rose suddenly and stood beside the bed. “I once overheard you asking Baihua to find a way to persuade me back to Danxiao Palace. I’ve stayed here a long time, and I know it has put you in a difficult position. Having to share your bed all these nights must have been trying. I apologize for everything I presumed on my own. I won’t burden you any further tonight. I’ll go elsewhere for a while, and tomorrow I’ll return to Danxiao Palace. You can rest assured.”
Bihua watched him walk toward the window. His thin white robe drifted around him, making him seem immeasurably lonely.
Danzhu opened the window, but then turned back to Bihua. “Qingxi, when I was still an egg, and later when I became a tiger cub to comfort you, you treated me so well. I… am truly grateful. I doubt anyone ever has, or ever will, treat me that way again.”
For no reason Bihua could explain, something tightened in his chest. Danzhu sighed once more, and a flash of immortal light swept past. He was gone.
Bihua Lingjun lay back on the enormous bed and found himself sighing too.
The next day, Danzhu did indeed return to Danxiao Palace. Chisheng, Yunqing, and the other young attendants were jubilant. The older spirit beasts gathered to gossip. “Do you think His Majesty and His Lordship quarreled and broke up?” “Who knows which of them upset the other?” The black tortoise sighed. “Ah, it doesn’t matter who upset whom. A separation is a good thing either way.” Tangdi nodded thoughtfully. The plaster fox clinging to him nodded along.
Danzhu’s return to Danxiao Palace was a grand affair. Heyun was overjoyed to hear that the emperor was willing to come home. He brought dozens of young immortals and attendants arranged in two rows to escort him. Heavenly Lord Huaguang and several other immortal lords also came to welcome him. Bihua Lingjun respectfully saw the great procession off. Beside him, Yunqing let out a long, delighted sigh of relief. “At last he’s gone.”
Bihua recalled the farewell. He had respectfully seen Danzhu off, and Danzhu had simply nodded, smiling faintly as he said, “Thank you for all your trouble these past days.” Nothing more. Bihua did not know where Danzhu had gone after leaving the night before.
The long procession of immortals receded farther and farther into the distance.
When they were nearing Danxiao Palace, Danzhu suddenly sighed. Heavenly Lord Huaguang asked, “Why does Your Majesty sigh?”
“I was thinking about the words don’t force things. There’s a great deal of wisdom in them, and they stirred a few reflections.” The words recalled old events. Huaguang smiled faintly and said no more.
Danzhu sighed silently to himself again.
Don’t force things. Don’t force things. Forcing things never ends well. No matter how deeply you like someone, you mustn’t use force.
But if force won’t work, might I obtain what I want by gentler means?