Futile Devices Scans

That fat old man dressed in red, with a long white beard that would definitely get filthy when he ate noodles, would he be coming this year?

Come to think of it, did such a person really exist? Had anybody ever seen him? Who first started believing in him, and why?

“Anyway, I absolutely don’t believe. I’ve never gotten a single present from him. Christmas is just one more trick Disney and other businesses use to get people’s money.”

Ke Bu shifted position and continued playing a game on his phone. He couldn’t work up any special enthusiasm for holidays in general, least of all Christmas, a childlike festival full of fairy tales.

Ke Bu really was an idiot who only knew how to ruin the atmosphere.

“Why am I getting insulted for no reason?! And whose fault is it that I’ve got this personality, anyway?!”

It just feels like it’s been ages since I saw you all. I thought I’d insult you a bit while I had the chance.

“Oh, thanks a lot! This is unusual, though. Don’t you normally follow a particular order every year, starting with Su Xiao Mi? Are you trying to scare me? I’ve wanted to tell you this for a long time: don’t you think your dialogue has no business being here? An author talking to her own characters? People will think you’re schizophrenic. It’s creepy and makes no logical sense.” Ke Bu poured sarcasm into every word.

Speaking of which, the idiot Ke Bu was suddenly thirsty and decided to drink from the toilet. He got to his feet…

“Stop! Stop right there! Pretend I never said anything, all right? Are you satisfied now?!”

If you want to talk about logic, it doesn’t make sense for you to know Su Xiao Mi, either. I don’t remember you two ever meeting.

“Who have you been talking to all this time?” Zhi Li asked from the other end of the sofa, where he too was playing a game. Though he asked, he didn’t seem remotely interested in the answer.

“Don’t pretend you can’t hear her voice!”

“I can’t hear noise from other dimensions.” Zhi Li’s fingers moved rapidly over the screen.

Ke Bu waited a minute before sitting upright and tossing his phone onto the sofa. “Why aren’t you appearing now? Tell Zhi Li to drink toilet water too! Hey! Why are you ignoring me?!”

Back to the point. On television, an attractive female news anchor was reporting on how different countries were celebrating Christmas.

Ke Bu stretched hard and collapsed back onto the sofa, resting one foot on Zhi Li’s knee. “Christmas really is so boring! Hey, where are we going for dinner tonight?”

“I’m not planning to go out tonight.”

“Why not?”

“Because then I’d miss Santa Claus coming to bring me presents.”

Zhi Li’s voice sounded nothing like someone telling a joke. His maddeningly handsome face wore an expression of pure, unaffected innocence.

Ke Bu sighed deeply to himself. He had nearly forgotten that Zhi Li believed Santa Claus existed. Believed wasn’t quite the right word. He was absolutely convinced.

Ke Bu might have believed in Santa when he was young. Children were like that, believing whatever adults told them. But Ke Bu had grown up, whereas Zhi Li had grown into an adult while somehow retaining a child’s common sense.

At that moment, Ke Bu suddenly remembered something: Santa Claus from Zhi Li’s household appeared to have left the country on a trip a couple of days earlier.

“Zhi Li, I have some unfortunate news for you.”

“Are you about to die?”

He wasn’t being sarcastic. That was the infuriating part.

“No! Stop wishing death on me!” Whenever he spoke to Zhi Li he wanted to lose his temper. Why was that?

Zhi Li stopped moving his fingers over the game and raised his head to gaze at Ke Bu. His deep eyes were a magical trap that could capture anyone careless enough to look inside.

Zhi Li asked, perplexed, “What other news could possibly be unfortunate for me?”

Was he doing it on purpose? Wasn’t he? On purpose? Not on purpose?

Those two questions kept circling in Ke Bu’s brain. Finally he gave up. He’d planned to be nasty and shatter Zhi Li’s Christmas delusion, but his own nasty streak had been devoured by somebody with an even worse one.

“Forget it. I won’t argue with a child.” Ke Bu waved his hand with an air of grown-up magnanimity.

“You did those things with a child last night. Sex offender.”

“Stop giving me such horrible nicknames!”

Ke Bu lightly kicked out with the foot resting on Zhi Li’s knee.

Just then, Zhi Li’s phone rang. His game interrupted, he hung up without the slightest hesitation and immediately went back to playing.

A second later, Ke Bu’s phone rang. When he saw who was calling, he cleared his throat. “Your Majesty, to what do I owe this honor?”

“My plane was delayed. Tell Zhi Li that Santa Claus will arrive late,” Lan Yin said in her usual cool voice.

Could you please devote some of this effort to something else? Ke Bu desperately wanted to complain, but she’d already hung up.

Seriously, why had Zhi Li never suspected a thing?

It was an enormous mystery.

“By the way, Zhi Li, aren’t people supposed to exchange presents at Christmas?”

“Isn’t Christmas the day I receive presents?”

“Christmas wasn’t invented just for you!”

Zhi Li looked as though this was the first time he’d ever heard that fact. Had he seriously believed Christmas was a festival created specifically for him?

Ke Bu didn’t want to investigate what kind of upbringing had produced this man.

“Then what would you like?”

“Such a generous offer? Well…” Having been asked so unexpectedly, Ke Bu suddenly couldn’t think of anything he wanted.

Zhi Li added, “I don’t have anything you’d ask for.”

“Then why ask?!”

“I thought being asked would make you happy.”

“It doesn’t!”

As time passed, both the cold and the color of the sky deepened. At some point Zhi Li had fallen asleep. Ke Bu was getting drowsy too, so he made himself coffee and stepped onto the balcony. The view was no different from yesterday. There was no snow, no twinkling Christmas-tree lights.

Ke Bu breathed out a little cloud of white mist and murmured, “Christmas really is boring after all.” No sooner had the words left his mouth than a figure in red appeared before his eyes, nearly scaring him out of his skin.

He steadied himself and looked at the person stepping over the railing. Her clothes could just about be described as resembling Santa’s, but she looked far more like a spirit that had crawled from some cavern in the demon world. Long hair streamed in the wind, sometimes hiding her eyes. A tiny flashlight was clenched between her teeth. No matter how many times he’d seen her before, her face could only be described as breathtakingly beautiful.

Lan Yin quickly glanced at Zhi Li in the living room. Once she’d confirmed he was still asleep, she tossed a box to Ke Bu and dropped off the other side of the balcony railing.

“Dange…” Ke Bu leaned over the railing. Down below, Zhi Zuo Si, who’d been waiting for her, caught Lan Yin securely. Her long legs curled around his waist. Looking into his eyes, she said, “Now it’s your turn to get a Christmas present.” Her red lips kissed his face.

Zhi Zuo Si remained expressionless. “Why am I always last in line, after that brat Zhi Li?”

S-so what had been the point of putting on a costume? Ke Bu, the atmosphere’s sworn enemy, very much wanted to shout the question.

“Santa Claus came?” Hearing a noise, Zhi Li opened his eyes. Ke Bu reluctantly turned back, suddenly wanting to throw away the present in his hands. Only now did he recall that Zhi Li had mentioned receiving the same kind of gift from Santa every year. Why was he only remembering that now?

Besides, the present hadn’t even been wrapped. The box was printed with words such as ultra-thin and pleasure.

Yes. Exactly. Just as you’re thinking: that kind of thing. Condoms!

“We’ve just run out. Good thing Santa’s bringing more.”

“Wouldn’t it be easier to go to the supermarket instead of celebrating Christmas once a year?!” Ke Bu threw the box onto the floor.

Zhi Li wore his familiar puzzled expression again. He stood, bent down to retrieve the box, and then hoisted Ke Bu over his shoulder. The motion was so seamless that Ke Bu couldn’t react before he’d been tossed onto the bed.

“Don’t even think about it!” Ke Bu refused vehemently.

Zhi Li took off his shirt and leaned over him. “Merry Christmas, Ke Bu.”

His voice was too cunning, his expression too cunning, his warmth too cunning. Really, for him to do this, it was simply too unfair.

* * *

Seven in the morning. His internal alarm clock woke Mai Ding right on schedule. He stared blankly into space for a moment, then turned to look at An Zi Yan, sleeping soundly beside him. Only when An Zi Yan was asleep did that handsome face stop looking like the face of a thoroughly wicked devil.

“An Zi Yan…” In a voice too soft to wake him, Mai Ding tentatively said the name he’d called a million times without ever tiring of it.

Once he’d confirmed that An Zi Yan wasn’t awake and wouldn’t be waking anytime soon, Mai Ding secretly took his phone and tiptoed into the bathroom.

Today was Christmas, after all. An Zi Yan was too introverted to express his feelings first, so naturally Mai Ding would have to express them on An Zi Yan’s behalf!

How thick could someone’s skin get? Giving yourself a present while pretending it was from An Zi Yan?

And just what sort of present did Mai Ding, who always cared so much about his public image and reputation, want to give himself?

He’d actually decided a few days ago. He wanted to show everyone An Zi Yan’s true feelings! The thought made Mai Ding grin foolishly to himself in the bathroom.

He no longer merely looked like a lunatic. He’d reached a state of genuine madness.

First, he used An Zi Yan’s phone to send messages to himself, imitating An Zi Yan’s manner of speaking as closely as he could.

An Zi Yan: [Hey. Where are we going for Christmas?]

Mai Ding: [Probably nowhere. There’s still a lot to do at work. And even though I’ve graduated, as a pillar of the nation I can’t stop studying.]

An Zi Yan: [What? You’re telling me that even though it’s Christmas, you don’t intend to spend time with me?]

Mai Ding: [Getting obsessed with pleasure only ruins one’s ambitions, my friend. We can’t think about having fun all day, can we? We’re not children anymore. There are more important things we ought to do. I feel bad that I can’t go out with you on Christmas, of course, but we could stay home, read, and study. That’s another kind of companionship. What do you think?]

An Zi Yan: [I had no idea you could be so thoughtful. I used to call you an idiot and a fool all the time. I must’ve been blind. You’re clearly a responsible, intelligent man who considers the greater good. Why didn’t I realize it before? Why have I only discovered it now? I despise myself.]

Mai Ding: [Don’t talk like that. Everybody makes mistakes. I won’t hold it against you. It’s all in the past.]

The conversation above was entirely fabricated by Mai Ding using An Zi Yan’s phone. It does not reflect An Zi Yan’s personal views. Sensible readers are kindly advised not to fall for this deception.

Delighted with his own handiwork, Mai Ding first took screenshots of the conversation and then uploaded them to An Zi Yan’s WeChat Moments feed, which had previously been completely empty.

He added a conspicuous caption: Christmas has brought me an awakening. The person who’s always been by my side is so outstanding. From today onward, everything has changed. I hope all of you find as much happiness at Christmas as I have.

Thoroughly satisfied, Mai Ding returned to the bedroom, planted his hands on his hips, and shook his head at the sleeping An Zi Yan. “Honestly, what am I supposed to do with you? Since it’s Christmas, I won’t make you get up. I’ll keep you company in bed a little longer.”

A pillow flew into Mai Ding’s face. “Too noisy.”

Clutching the pillow, Mai Ding shivered and climbed beneath the warm blankets. He’d been so excited that he hadn’t noticed the cold.

“I’m freezing. Give me somewhere warm.”

“Stay away from me.”

Mai Ding tried to slip his frozen fingers toward An Zi Yan. An Zi Yan seized his wrist and forced Mai Ding’s hand inside Mai Ding’s own shirt. He yelped, “Cold! Cold! You beast! Can’t you be a little gentler with me on Christmas? My life is so miserable!”

“What are you talking about?” An Zi Yan had no intention of letting go. “I’m wishing you a merry Christmas. I’ve said it, so do you have anything you want to say to me?”

Mai Ding lasted only a few more minutes before surrendering. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have disturbed your sleep.” Only then did An Zi Yan release his hand.

Mai Ding never learned his lesson. He knew perfectly well that the worst time to provoke An Zi Yan was while he was asleep, yet he kept doing it as if he refused to believe the evidence. The fact that he’d survived so long was practically a miracle.

Mai Ding lay obediently beside him, but couldn’t fall asleep. He checked the time now and then. At long last it was ten o’clock, but An Zi Yan showed absolutely no sign of getting up. Mai Ding had no choice but to take out his phone and scroll through Moments. The comments beneath the post he’d made on An Zi Yan’s feed left him furious. Every one of his friends had responded with the same nose-picking emoji.

[Mai Ding, have you been playing with An Zi Yan’s phone again? Didn’t you know married couples have a right to privacy, too?]

[It’s Christmas. Are you really that eager to dig your own grave, Mai Ding?]

[What part of your brain made you think we’d actually believe this?]

[…]

“These people… these people…” Mai Ding ground his teeth in fury. He was so angry he couldn’t manage anything but grinding his teeth.

“What’s wrong with these people?” An Zi Yan’s cool voice drifted over. Mai Ding looked up to find An Zi Yan lying lazily with one arm beneath his head, watching the phone screen.

“When did you wake up?”

“Take a guess.”

Mai Ding pretended to throw a tantrum in hopes of bluffing his way out. He sighed dramatically. “Christmas is so boring.”

“Mai…” An Zi Yan had managed only one syllable when Mai Ding plunged into his arms and wrapped himself tightly around his waist. “You didn’t see anything! You’re not angry! You’re not going to punish me! Right?!”

“Trying that trick?”

“What trick? What are you talking about? I don’t understand.” He hugged An Zi Yan even more tightly. An Zi Yan lowered the hand from behind his head and rested it on Mai Ding’s hair. “I didn’t say anything.”

Apparently that trick of Mai Ding’s was effective no matter how many times he used it.

* * *

Chen Ge suddenly opened his eyes. A delicious aroma had already filled the entire bedroom. He raised one hand over his eyes. Although his face showed little emotion, it would be terribly rude not to mention that a dreadful shudder had awakened him. Anyone who had read The World Is a Little Sweet would know that Chen Ge hadn’t suffered a nightmare. The cause of the dread was Mo Ka cooking.

It was beyond merely miraculous. Whatever Mo Ka made, the more beautiful it looked and the better it smelled, the more it tasted like something dredged from a sewer.

Mo Ka poked his head through the doorway. “Awake?”

“Mm.”

Mo Ka pulled the curtains open, allowing one shaft of sunlight, then another, to spill inside. Really, the room was impossibly clean. It was always like this. The blue sky, fresh air, and white clothes seemed capable of blending seamlessly into Chen Ge himself.

“I don’t particularly care about holidays, but making a big meal now and then is a nice change of pace.” Mo Ka, having opened the curtains, turned to look at Chen Ge. The hand over Chen Ge’s eyes hadn’t moved. Mo Ka pouted. “I promise this time will be different. It’s definitely going to taste great!”

“And I promise you said exactly the same thing last time.” There was not a trace of emotion in Chen Ge’s voice.

“Last time was last time! This time is this time. Hey, can’t you save a little face for me and believe me once?”

“Mo Ka.”

However much time passed, Mo Ka still loved hearing Chen Ge say his name. His voice seemed to carry a sweetness unique to him. It struck Mo Ka’s heart with just as much force now as it had the first time he’d heard it.

“Mm?”

“Tell me the truth.”

Hearing the unusual seriousness in Chen Ge’s tone, Mo Ka asked nervously, “What?”

Chen Ge finally lowered the hand shielding his eyes, sat up, and rested both hands on the blankets. “The reason you’re with me… is it because you want to kill me?”

Mo Ka erupted. “You pineapple-selling bastard! I went to the trouble of making breakfast for you, and instead of thanking me, you question my motives! Fine! You don’t want to eat? I’ll throw it away!”

“Mm.” Chen Ge’s answer was as bright and pleasant as the weather.

“Aren’t you supposed to stop me in situations like this?!”

“In my world, there is no such hypothetical thing as ‘situations like this.’”

“Don’t refuse so quickly. At least taste it first.” Mo Ka wouldn’t give up. Absolutely not. His dignity was on the line. Yes, he was a proud man, and even with Chen Ge he had no intention of compromising on that.

He returned to the kitchen and soon came back carrying a breakfast that looked as if it had come from a five-star hotel. “Well? Smells good, doesn’t it? Got your appetite going?”

“You underestimate my appetite.”

“I promise it’s different this time. Just believe me once, just once. If it tastes awful, I’ll never force you again.”

“So you knew all along that you’ve been forcing me?”

Unable to win the argument, Mo Ka pouted again. “You’re really not going to eat? Won’t you regret it?”

“What I’m doing right now is making sure I won’t regret anything.”

“That’s cruel! Way too cruel!”

Mo Ka put the tray down and sprang onto the bed, straddling Chen Ge’s legs through the covers. He spread both hands wide. He hadn’t washed those hands after making breakfast.

He looked like a villain threatening a small child. “I’m warning you, you brought this on yourself. I never wanted it to come to this. From today on, I’ve decided I’m never taking another bath. I’ll dirty your sheets, dirty your room, dirty your books. No, not from today. From this very moment! For someone as obsessed with cleanliness as you, this must be the most painful torture imaginable.”

He reached toward Chen Ge, who easily caught both wrists. Chen Ge’s lips curved faintly. He tugged, making Mo Ka lean forward, then kissed him. It was a fleeting kiss, perhaps no longer than a second.

“That’s all right. You can start by getting me dirty.”

Mo Ka bit his lower lip. Chen Ge’s sweetness still lingered there.

Christmas was such a dull holiday. It wasn’t particularly important. Compromising once wouldn’t hurt, would it? Yes. It wouldn’t matter.

* * *

“Touch me! Wei Ye, hurry up and touch me.”

Early in the morning, Shan Ju sat on the bed with her long hair in disarray, rubbing at her chest.

Wei Ye narrowed his eyes. His handsome face looked both youthful and mature, a contradiction that somehow wasn’t one. He looked at Shan Ju, the woman he’d chosen.

Yes. It appeared Wei Ye’s taste in women was truly appalling.

“I told you to touch me! Yesterday I made a wish to Santa Claus that I’d grow enormous breasts. I think it’s working. My own judgment might be unreliable, so you should check.”

“I think you may have misunderstood something about Santa Claus.”

“Is there a book somewhere that explicitly says what kinds of wishes you’re allowed to make to Santa?”

Wei Ye gave a mild sneer. “I never imagined a woman whose heart must be covered in mold would still believe in Santa Claus.”

Rather than getting angry at Wei Ye’s hostility, Shan Ju laughed. Yes, she was a masochist. She adored Wei Ye’s verbal barbs. They made her happier than sappy declarations of love ever could.

“You guessed right. I don’t believe in him. But…” With a wicked grin, Shan Ju leaned forward, letting strands of hair spill over Wei Ye’s face. “I was doing it for you. They say men like big breasts, don’t they? I’ve been making these silly wishes for your sake. Aren’t you touched?”

Wei Ye put his hand against her face and pushed her away. “If you want to move me, go back to your White Bone Cave and train for a few more years.”

“If I train for a few more years, I’m worried you won’t be able to handle me. It would be a problem if you became completely infatuated. You know I don’t like men who cling too much.”

After all, these two had come from the same kindergarten as An Zi Yan, Zhi Li, and the others. It was no surprise that they frequently behaved like people determined to kill each other even as they fell in love.

Shan Ju rolled over, propped her elbow on the pillow, and swung her legs. “Wei Ye, Wei Ye, Wei Ye, Wei Ye, Wei Ye, Wei Ye, Wei Ye!”

“Wei Ye, I love you.”

“Clingy women are such a bother.”

“Excellent comeback.” Shan Ju laughed again, exposing her slightly dangerous canine teeth. Her arms were getting tired, so she settled her head directly on Wei Ye’s stomach.

“Do I sound as though I’m playing with you?”

“Well, at least you don’t sound truly angry. Seriously, I think they’ve gotten bigger. Touch them.” Their rambling conversation had found its way right back to the beginning.

When Wei Ye ignored her, Shan Ju grabbed one of his hands and placed it against her chest. “Well?”

“Do you just want me to say something nasty to you?”

“Figured it out already?” Shan Ju turned and lightly bit his arm. It barely registered with Wei Ye, but he still caught her mouth between his fingers.

Even with her mouth squeezed shut, Shan Ju managed to mumble, “I’d rather you squeezed somewhere else.”

Being shameless only with Wei Ye was one of Shan Ju’s defining traits.

Wei Ye rolled onto his side and let go. “Isn’t there anything that can shut you up?”

“There is.”

Shan Ju moved back to her previous place beside his shoulder, closed her eyes, and puckered her lips. She looked as though she were begging to be smacked. In truth, she really was waiting for Wei Ye to smack her. But nothing happened. Opening her eyes, she found him watching her. His eyes were unbelievably beautiful. He reached out, caught her chin, and leaned slowly closer. Shan Ju was caught off guard and didn’t know how to respond.

Wei Ye’s lips didn’t move toward hers. Instead, he leaned toward her ear and murmured in a voice that sent a shiver through her, “You’re far too easy to handle.”

Laughing, Shan Ju lunged forward and kissed him.

In the past, Shan Ju truly hadn’t believed in Santa Claus. It was too boring. Only someone like Guo Zhi would believe in such innocent nonsense. But after meeting Wei Ye, things she shouldn’t believe, couldn’t believe, had slowly begun to seem worth believing after all. What did she have to lose?

* * *

Shan Ju’s guess was right. Guo Zhi really did believe in Santa Claus. He believed as strongly as Shi Xi disbelieved.

Guo Zhi wanted to believe in everything. Otherwise, wouldn’t life be dreadful?

And at moments like this, Shi Xi would reply without a hint of feeling: would believing in everything actually make life beautiful?

“Shi Xi, take Christmas off,” Guo Zhi said earnestly. It was such a sudden remark that Shi Xi glanced at him. Guo Zhi added, “You can write if you want, but please don’t write a story about Santa Claus. That’s my request.”

“Thank you for such a rude request,” Shi Xi said coldly. He wasn’t deliberately trying to be cold, and he wasn’t angry. That was simply Shi Xi.

“I know it was rude, though…” Guo Zhi searched for a tactful way to explain himself, but couldn’t find one. He finally told the truth. “Think about all those novels you’ve written. Romance novels and ghost stories and everything else. You always take ordinary things and turn them upside down! If you write about Santa Claus, it’ll end up being another story about Liu Da Shan and Zhang Er Gou!”

“What’s your problem with Liu Da Shan and Zhang Er Gou?”

“Nothing!” Guo Zhi clasped his hands in supplication. “In return for all the tireless effort I put into correcting your typos, please spare Santa Claus!”

“That kind of…” Shi Xi had barely opened his mouth when Guo Zhi clapped a hand firmly over it.

“Sorry! Don’t say nasty things about Santa Claus, either. Poor Santa. He’s already exhausted delivering presents to children. It would be awful if he also had to put up with your insults.”

Shi Xi couldn’t speak, but Guo Zhi could read any number of things in his eyes. He must think Guo Zhi was intellectually disabled. Even so, Guo Zhi had somehow found the courage to defy a tiger, and he wouldn’t let go!

“Can you promise me? Today, no matter what, I’m going to defend Santa Claus!”

In contrast to Guo Zhi’s deeply sincere expression, Shi Xi only shrugged indifferently. Guo Zhi decided that meant he’d agreed and finally removed his hand.

“I can still write other things, can’t I?”

“Of course! Shi Xi, you’re so kind. You’re so understanding. You’re an angel!”

Probably only Guo Zhi could look at Shi Xi, whose temperament bordered on cruelty, and see an angel. And this wasn’t merely something Guo Zhi had decided he wanted to believe. He didn’t even need faith for it. It was genuinely what he thought.

At first Shi Xi had resisted being called an angel, but now he’d become numb to it. He grunted without caring and started typing on his laptop.

Reassured, Guo Zhi went to the refrigerator for a bottle of milk. On his way back, he glanced casually at the screen and could hardly believe his eyes. Raising his voice, he cried, “Didn’t you promise you wouldn’t write that?!”

“Am I writing it?”

“Then what’s this? ‘A great fat man in red was sitting in a tavern talking to Liu Da Shan.’ What is that supposed to mean? Santa Claus is fat, yes, but how can you be so disrespectful?”

Who was really being disrespectful here?

“Who said a fat man dressed in red has to be Santa Claus?”

“I don’t care. You can’t write it.”

Once Guo Zhi became stubborn, he was stubborn beyond reason. He threw himself over the keyboard, blocking Shi Xi’s view. Shi Xi regarded his ridiculous movements for two seconds, then stood without comment and flopped onto the bed.

When Guo Zhi heard nothing behind him, he cautiously wondered whether he’d gone too far.

“Are you angry?”

“A little.”

“I’m… I’m sor…”

“Apologizing won’t help. I’ll still be angry. May I hit you now?”

Guo Zhi genuinely hadn’t expected Shi Xi to be so angry that he wanted to hit him. Before he could react, he heard the next line. “It should be all right to hit you, shouldn’t it? Santa Claus is busy delivering presents to children, so he won’t have time to look after you.”

Guo Zhi turned around in disbelief. Had those words really come from Shi Xi? Who would have believed it? And because it was Shi Xi!

He stood motionless for a long, long time, until a brilliant smile spread across his face.

Who said mermaids didn’t exist? There were mermaids in the sea!

Who said Santa Claus didn’t exist? Santa Claus was at the North Pole!

* * *

Su Xiao Mi was behaving very strangely today. Not just ordinarily strange.

After all, it was Christmas. Yan Yan had prepared himself for Su Xiao Mi to start making a racket the instant he opened his eyes and keep it up all day.

After all, it was Christmas. And after all, this was Su Xiao Mi.

Ordinarily Su Xiao Mi wanted to celebrate even the tiniest excuse for a holiday, dragging them off to see mountains and rivers. Yet today he was astonishingly ordinary, to the point where he didn’t seem like Su Xiao Mi at all.

Su Xiao Mi behaving himself was never a good sign.

Yan Yan couldn’t be blamed for being suspicious. However he turned the matter over, it came down to one thing: this was Su Xiao Mi.

There had even been a Christmas when Su Xiao Mi took an ax to the park, chopped down a tree, and carried it home to use as a Christmas tree.

“Yan, what do you want for breakfast? Or shall we eat out?”

“You’re looking for an excuse to go outside and do something else, aren’t you?”

“What? What would I do? Yan, honestly! Making jokes so early in the morning. I just meant having breakfast downstairs. What could I possibly do?”

He would absolutely do something! That was what Yan Yan thought. But, astonishingly, it turned out he was wrong.

Su Xiao Mi really did just eat breakfast like a normal person, then watch television like a normal person. Yan Yan surveyed the apartment. No tacky decorations, nothing at all. Su Xiao Mi wasn’t even snacking. He sat quietly on the sofa, hugging his knees, wearing ordinary clothes.

Something was wrong. Definitely wrong.

Yan Yan lit a cigarette. Su Xiao Mi handed him an ashtray. Usually, every few days or so, he’d approach with the ashtray and an ingratiating expression. “Yan~~ You know, things have been a bit tight lately. It’s embarrassing to say, really embarrassing. I have a sense of shame, you know! So, um… MASTER! Give me some money! I don’t care if you think of me as a kept man or whatever else. I’ll give up my dignity, my face, everything, as long as I get some money! I’ve got no money left to buy cake from that shop! I’m telling you, that shop’s cakes are really good…”

“Yan, are you listening?” Su Xiao Mi asked gently, interrupting Yan Yan’s recollection.

“What?”

“The news has finished. Shall I change channels?”

“Put on whatever you like.”

“There’s nothing in particular I want to watch.”

And just yesterday he’d been obsessed with some idol drama.

“Su Xiao Mi, you…” Yan Yan started to ask, but stopped himself. Su Xiao Mi tilted his head. “What’s wrong?”

“I’d like to know that myself.”

With Su Xiao Mi’s intelligence, there was no hope of him understanding the question. Yan Yan stubbed out the cigarette and decided not to dwell on it. Whatever stupidity was coming would arrive when it arrived. He’d simply wait, as usual. Yes. As usual.

And then evening came, and nothing whatsoever had happened. After bathing, Su Xiao Mi got ready to climb into bed in an entirely ordinary way.

Yan Yan stood beside the bed, his handsome face creased in a frown as he stared at Su Xiao Mi. Su Xiao Mi seemed frightened, pulling the covers over half his face. “Yan~~ Y-you… what’s wrong? Don’t scare me.”

“If you’re going to do something, hurry up and do it.” Yan Yan sounded rather irritable.

“Do what?”

“Stop pretending you don’t understand. It’s Christmas, isn’t it? Whatever stupid thing you’ve planned, get it over with so we can finish this day.”

“What? What? What?! Yan~~ You don’t understand how I feel at all! Yes, today’s Christmas. And that’s why I decided to give you an enormous Christmas present. My gift to you is one whole day of peace and quiet!” When Su Xiao Mi finished, Yan Yan rubbed his temples. Su Xiao Mi watched his expression nervously. “Is that not enough? Yan, what other present do you want?”

“Change back!”

Yan Yan rubbed Su Xiao Mi’s cheeks rather roughly. Christmas really was so boring. He thought he’d been an utter idiot today.

* * *

“You know Christmas is almost over, don’t you?” Xia Qi said, adjusting his glasses. He’d thought he wouldn’t appear at all this time, yet somehow he had made it into the ending.

“So what?”

“I didn’t expect you to finish in time. Can’t you write a few days earlier?!”

“So what?”

“Could you turn off the automatic reply and say something different for once? You hardly ever go on Weibo. You’ve forgotten the password again, haven’t you? Now that you’ve finally bothered to recover it, can’t you at least say a little more?!”

“Merry Christmas.”

“I’m suddenly a little moved,” Xia Qi murmured.

“I wasn’t saying it to you.”

“How many more of my feelings are you planning to waste?!”