Mai Ding opened the window and let the fresh air rush in. The sky overhead was a brilliant blue, and white clouds struggled to drift slowly along with the breeze. He took a deep breath. The weather was so wonderful that he couldn’t suppress the urge to go for a walk. He promptly made that urge very clear to An Zi Yan. “How about we take a walk by the river?”
“Not interested.” Mai Ding paid absolutely no attention to his reply. He walked over and tugged An Zi Yan to his feet. “Come on.” Strangely enough, An Zi Yan always seemed easy for him to pull up. As they were leaving, An Zi Yan picked up his car keys. Mai Ding snatched them away. “We can walk to the river! Walking is good exercise. Young people need strong, healthy bodies.” He patted An Zi Yan’s chest. An Zi Yan held out his palm, signaling him to hand the keys back. “If I work out any more, I’m afraid you won’t be able to handle it.”
“Why do you always have to steer every conversation somewhere dirty?”
“It’s not as though you’re a virgin. What’s the point of pretending to be innocent?”
“Does not being a virgin mean I can’t be innocent anymore? No class, no morals, talking about such forbidden topics in broad daylight!”
“You’ve already done plenty of those so-called classless, immoral things yourself, haven’t you?”
“Only because you forced me!”
“I forced you to cli—” Mai Ding clapped a hand over An Zi Yan’s mouth. “Don’t say those two filthy syllables!” He returned the keys. “Fine! Have it your way.”
They drove to the river after all. The temperature was pleasant, and an occasional breeze sent ripples across the calm water. Several artists who made their living drawing portraits were sitting along the stone-paved path beside the embankment. Mai Ding watched from a short distance. Artists’ hands were truly extraordinary: line after line appeared on plain white paper until a face took shape. Perhaps because they wanted to please their customers, the subjects in the drawings looked better than the people sitting in front of the easels. Mai Ding couldn’t take his eyes off them. He’d never had his portrait drawn. If he paid a few yuan extra, would they make him even more handsome than An Zi Yan? The new home could use a little artistic atmosphere, and he could hang his portrait in the living room.
“Don’t waste drawing paper on that face of yours.” An Zi Yan seemed to have read his thoughts and poured cold water all over them. Mai Ding gave his arm a little shove. “How would drawing my face be a waste of paper?!”
“If you want, I could draw you myself,” An Zi Yan offered kindly. Mai Ding wasn’t stupid. An Zi Yan’s offers were never good news. He refused firmly. “If I were stupid enough to let you draw me, I’d die of anger on the spot. You’d definitely turn me into some kind of monster.”
“You don’t even trust me?”
“It’s precisely because it’s you that I don’t trust you!”
“Have I ever done anything to you?”
“What haven’t you done to me? Don’t bring it up again. I refuse to remember that miserable, heartbreaking past. Anyway, there’s absolutely no way I’m letting you draw me. Don’t even think about it.” Mai Ding headed straight toward the artists. Stroking his chin, he considered which lucky person deserved the honor of drawing his very first portrait. After agonizing over the decision for ages without reaching a conclusion, he turned to An Zi Yan. His instincts were usually reliable, at least. “Which one do you think I should choose?” He expected An Zi Yan to say it didn’t matter. Instead, An Zi Yan tipped his chin toward the artist at the far end. Mai Ding looked over. There wasn’t a single customer in front of him.
“He doesn’t seem to have any business. Is it really all right to let him do it?”
“Whoever draws that face of yours, it’ll come out the same.”
“Stop insulting my face! And you have to wait here beside me. No getting impatient, no hurrying me, and definitely no hurrying the artist.” Nervous about having his portrait drawn for the first time, Mai Ding made his demands. An Zi Yan curled his lip. “What a pain.” There was no chair in front of the artist, so Mai Ding borrowed one from nearby and sat down facing his easel. Only now did he notice that the artist was rather handsome, with the slightly roguish look of a bad boy from a film. Unfortunately, his face was utterly expressionless. Stranger still, the weather was no longer especially hot, yet he was wearing a pair of slide sandals. Wasn’t he cold?
“Hey, you’re in my way,” the artist said to Mai Ding. No wonder he had no customers, treating his only one like that! Mai Ding forced the corners of his mouth upward into a polite, civilized smile. “I’d like you to draw my portrait.” Without answering, the artist took out a fresh sheet of paper. Mai Ding summoned the courage to make a request. “Well… could you make me a little more handsome? It’s fine to adjust my features somewhat. For example, my nose and eyes could look like his.” He pointed out An Zi Yan. How could that possibly qualify as a minor adjustment? The artist began sketching and said, “You could consider plastic surgery.”
How rude! Mai Ding wanted to kick the artist to death, but being the coward he always was, he could only grumble to himself. It was too late to switch artists now. An Zi Yan stood with folded arms behind the easel, watching. A dozen minutes later, unable to see the drawing, Mai Ding anxiously asked, “How is it looking?” An Zi Yan seemed quite pleased with the artist. “Very practical.” Why would he call it practical? Mai Ding tried to stand up to look, but the artist said irritably, “Don’t move.”
He’d originally planned to pay a little extra, but with that attitude, forget it. Another dozen minutes passed. The customers beside Mai Ding had already come and gone twice, while his drawing still wasn’t finished.
“Are you done yet?”
“Tch. Don’t make noise.” The speaker was An Zi Yan! He and the artist were on the same side, weren’t they?!
At last the drawing was finished. Mai Ding snatched it up eagerly. The artist really was skilled, and the picture really was extremely practical. But not for hanging in his living room. It would be perfect for hanging in a funeral hall after he died. Mai Ding shook with rage. “No matter how I look at it, this is a memorial portrait!”
“When I draw people, I only draw memorial portraits.” So it really was one!!
“You’ll get used to it if you look at it enough,” An Zi Yan said, enjoying his misfortune.
“An Zi Yan! I’m the one you’re married to, aren’t I? Whose side are you on?” Mai Ding had blurted it out before he could stop himself. He shot a worried look at the artist, but the man showed no special reaction to his relationship with An Zi Yan. “You insisted on having it drawn, and now you aren’t satisfied. Keep throwing tantrums like that and I might fire you.”
“Y-you’re using your position as my boss against me again!”
“I can pin you down without being your boss.”
Don’t say such shameless things in front of strangers! Mai Ding’s face burned. He only wanted to get out of there; his luck was truly awful. He asked the artist crossly, “How much?”
“Five hundred yuan.”
“How much did you say?” Mai Ding thought he must have misheard.
“Five hundred.”
“Are you running a scam? Everyone else charges a few dozen yuan, and you want five hundred!”
“It’ll be valuable after I die,” the artist said with an utterly numb expression. Mai Ding couldn’t accept that reasoning. “How many years will I have to wait for that?”
“Not too many. You and I are both insignificant human beings. You could walk out the door tomorrow and die. Or it might not be tomorrow; it could happen in the next minute. That’s perfectly normal.”
“Stop cursing me! An Zi Yan, listen to him! He’s wishing me dead and cheating me out of my money. Let’s both scold him!” Without waiting for An Zi Yan to answer, Mai Ding turned back. “You’d better watch yourself. M-my husband is really formidable. If you lower the price, we’ll call it even. Giving you a hundred yuan would already be generous.” He’d already let their relationship slip, so there was no need to hide it now. The artist raised his eyes, looking not at Mai Ding but at An Zi Yan. Only then did Mai Ding notice that the artist and An Zi Yan hadn’t spoken to each other directly even once.
“Willing to marry this she-devil? You’re a man with great courage and a spirit of self-sacrifice.” The artist looked completely serious. He wasn’t joking. Mai Ding inhaled deeply. “Who are you calling a she-devil? Look at me! I’m a man!”
“Willing to marry this he-devil? You’re a man with great courage and a spirit of self-sacrifice.” The artist repeated the entire sentence, changing just one word. Being insulted by a stranger made Mai Ding furious. All his civility vanished. “You’re finished! You’ve offended us now. I didn’t want to make a fuss, but don’t think I won’t hit you. I’ll even hit your girlfriend!”
An Zi Yan finally spoke. “Mai Ding.”
“Mm? Go ahead. Tell me how we’re going to deal with him.”
“Give him another hundred yuan as a tip. I think he speaks very honestly.”
Before dealing with outsiders, murdering his own husband seemed far more urgent.