The second month after the gland-removal surgery.
Lu Sili had been out of the hospital for a month and still had to return for checkups every week.
The successful surgery ought to have been a good thing, but Lu Sili wasn’t in a particularly good mood. Even he found it strange.
The surgery had gone smoothly, his family and friends were all there for him, and work hadn’t been bothering him. Clearly he should have been happy.
Logically, Lu Sili understood all of that. But he couldn’t control his feelings. From time to time, he’d sink into a dark mood. Su Yuan was beside himself with worry, afraid that Lu Sili might be developing depression.
Only at one of his follow-up appointments did the doctor explain that the gland removal was the cause.
Alphas and Omegas had pheromones and glands that Betas didn’t, so the hormones in their bodies were more complicated than those in Betas.
When the gland was removed, the body lost its pheromones. This disrupted the hormonal balance and could affect a person’s mood.
“I’ll prescribe some vitamins. Keep a healthy routine and do some light exercise, such as yoga or walking.”
As the doctor wrote the prescription, he added, “You could also try keeping a diary and recording a little of your life each day. Writing can help calm your mind.”
Lu Sili hadn’t planned to write one. But a couple of days later, Su Yuan invited Ru Que and two younger friends to dinner so they could spend some time talking with him. Ru Que said she kept a diary herself and that it was actually quite fun.
“But you can’t make things up,” Ru Que said.
Lu Sili blinked.
“I’m serious,” Ru Que insisted. “I know lots of people think their day was boring, so they write a fake diary. Some people overspend and then falsify their household accounts too.”
Lu Sili said, “…I’ll try my best.”
Then he turned to Su Yuan.
Su Yuan was setting a plate of braised pig’s trotters on the table. Holding his spatula aloft, he declared, “I swear I won’t read it.”
November 14
Went to the company today. I was furious.
Why does everyone have so many questions? They ask me whether something will pass approval, which incidental music sounds better, and even why the budget hasn’t reached the bank account yet!
Is this company Flying Bird or Baby Bird? I swear I want to kick the lot of them right out of the nest.
I feel like a mother raising over a dozen children. I have to feed them, answer all sorts of ridiculous questions, and somehow keep my temper because I’m afraid I’ll hurt their fragile little feelings.
It’s so noisy! I’m sick of it!
November 30
Sigh.
It feels like these hormonal changes are affecting everything. Su Yuan had the day off, and I thought the incision had long since healed, so we could finally be intimate again.
Su Yuan’s foreplay was as good as ever, and I was definitely feeling it, but my body was so dry.
I’ve become a dried-out handsome guy.
I think it’s because my body hasn’t adjusted to the lack of pheromones and the new hormone levels yet. But Su Yuan looked discouraged. He thought he’d somehow done a bad job.
Su Yuan’s gone emo, and now I’m emo too.
We’re still so young! Aaaaaah!
December 5
Went to Grandma’s house today. Grandma says Xiaozao has a partner! Hahahaha.
Good thing Xiaozao has already been sterilized. At least there won’t be any disastrous consequences.
Grandma used to nag me to get married and have children. Why does she go into a frenzy when Xiaozao gets a little close to another cat?
That tabby cat came back during dinner. Grandma told Su Yuan to catch it and take it to be neutered. The two of us chased it for ages without catching it. The cat even scratched the back of Su Yuan’s hand until it bled.
At least he doesn’t need another vaccination. He already got his shots after Xiaozao scratched him while he was giving her a bath a month ago.
Su Yuan says he’ll try to catch that cat again tomorrow while the vaccination is still effective.
Funny. I’ve been scratched so many times. Why didn’t I ever need to get vaccinated?
December 12
I was so bored at home today. I didn’t feel like going to the company, so I bought some things and went to see Su Yuan at the hospital.
It’s been ages since I visited him at work. Time to give my husband some face in front of his colleagues.
He had lots of surgeries today. When I arrived at seven, his colleagues said he was catching up on sleep in the little dark room. He’s on duty tonight.
I took the food there so I wouldn’t disturb his rest any longer than necessary.
The little dark room is a small space where they rest and keep miscellaneous supplies. I’ve been in there a few times before.
I didn’t expect to walk in on him changing his clothes. The room was cramped and shabby, full of clutter. Even the curtains were bedsheets tied up over the windows.
The lighting was so dim. It reminded me of one of those art-house gay films I used to watch.
I couldn’t help reaching out to feel my husband’s chest, and suddenly I was in the mood.
Forget about working. Hehe.
December 18
Both films we submitted won awards! We held a celebration at the company today. The cake the administrative staff ordered was delicious.
I’m beginning to think work isn’t so bad after all. The children are growing up. They’re no longer so noisy, and they’re even achieving things!
Except Ru Que.
Ever since Ru Que fell in love, she’s been slacking off at work. I know she isn’t short of money or trophies these days, but as a filmmaker, doesn’t she feel guilty? What sort of example is she setting for her younger colleagues?
I’m going to faint. Why am I talking like that kind of parent? Clearly I’m not cut out to raise children.
Speaking of which, Jiang Que hasn’t been to the office in ages either. What are these people all doing? Without me, this whole company would fall apart. We have money and can’t even spend it…
Husband’s calling me to dinner. Stopping here.
December 25
It’s Christmas today. My husband put up a Christmas tree at home. He gave me a set of pajamas covered in straps, and I gave him three ties.
We’re such a married couple.
I didn’t write anything yesterday because we went for a checkup and then to Grandma’s house. There wasn’t any time.
The doctor says my recovery is going very well. From now on, I only need one checkup a year. The doctor also asked about my sex life. I didn’t particularly want to answer, but Su Yuan did. He said there’s no need to be embarrassed about something important for my health.
Still, the questions were so detailed. It felt almost like being intimate in public. How embarrassing!
Because only the gland was removed and nothing else was changed, Su Yuan even asked the doctor whether pregnancy was still a possibility. I could feel my whole head burning!
I was going to scold him when we got home. Then that night he came inside me, and I finally understood why he’d asked.
December 27
I’m so happy today! We secured a huge investment, so now the company has money to spare again. We also signed Lu Luxia. I have a feeling she’ll stand onstage at one of the three major international film festivals someday. She’s such an inspired director.
My husband and I went cycling tonight. Seventeen kilometers round trip! Apart from a sore backside, I didn’t feel uncomfortable at all. In fact, after that exercise and a shower, I felt wonderfully refreshed all over.
Is this what it feels like to be healthy?
My husband’s cooking has been getting better and better lately. As a thank-you, I ordered him a very expensive coffee machine. It’s arriving tomorrow. I’m so excited!
January 1
Today is New Year’s Day. I have the day off, but my husband is on duty.
I didn’t stay home, though, and I didn’t go hang out with Li Ya. I went to watch Zhan Kaijun compete. Our little sister is seriously amazing.
After the competition, I took her and Auntie out for something delicious. Auntie asked whether I wanted to visit their hometown, Yaoyun, for the Lunar New Year. She said they’d renovated the family house, so it’s comfortable to live in now. There are temple fairs and all kinds of fun things to do around New Year.
I agreed. I want to see the place where Su Yuan grew up.
January 14
I’ve been back to Yingnan No. 3 High School with Su Yuan today. A teacher invited us to share our experiences with the students.
At first, I found it strange. We’re not particularly distinguished alumni, and Yingnan No. 3 High School has produced plenty of outstanding people in business, politics, and entertainment. But the teacher explained that they simply wanted us to show the students what different careers were actually like.
Su Yuan wanted to agree the moment he heard.
After thinking about it, I realized it was meaningful. Lots of students have no idea what working life is actually like before they go to university, or how the careers they hope to pursue relate to the majors they choose.
The younger students were very interested in our talks and asked us all sorts of questions.
There were quite a few alumni there, but I was the most popular one because students kept asking me about entertainment-industry gossip…
At the end, someone asked whether Su Yuan and I were a couple. I asked how she could tell, and she said we were wearing matching watches.
Sigh!
February 12
My diary entries have been pretty irregular lately because I’ve been busy with Lunar New Year.
We’ve come to Su Yuan’s hometown today! Mom couldn’t come home for New Year this year either, so Grandma came with us.
I’m writing this at the desk in the room Su Yuan and I are staying in. Auntie bought it specially for me because she knows I love working and always bring my laptop.
Grandma bought Xiaozao a tiny harness and takes her out for walks every day. She says the stars in the countryside are so bright that they remind her of when she was little.
We don’t have to spend our days visiting relatives out here. It’s so peaceful and relaxing. My husband and I wander around together every day. The scenery is beautiful, although I’m not used to people setting off fireworks every night.
Someone set off fireworks while we were fooling around last night. It startled me so badly that I came immediately. Hahahaha.
The diary really was a useful suggestion. But I’ve been so happy and fulfilled lately that I don’t think I’ll keep writing it.
Finally, may whoever sneaks a look at my diary get nothing but seeds in every slice of watermelon they eat!!