There was no choice. He could only ask Bai Xiao Si for help again. His coworkers all believed Mai Ding had dumped Bai Xiao Si, but Bai Xiao Si had come to the office several times looking for An Zi Yan, so they had started guessing about the two of them. If Bai Xiao Si turned out to be An Zi Yan’s girlfriend, it would be perfectly believable. Everyone had so many theories already that they could not tell what was true or false anyway. Thinking of this, Mai Ding hurried to the entryway and put on his shoes. “I’m going out for a bit. I’m going to leave my things at Xiao Si’s for now.”
“Nobody wants to know.”
“Can’t I talk to the air?” Mai Ding angrily hauled a large bag out and kicked the door shut behind him. By the time he reached Bai Xiao Si’s place, he was panting from exhaustion. He knocked hard. Bai Xiao Si opened the door with messy hair, apparently just awake, wearing pajamas and yawning nonstop, looking nothing like a refined young woman.
“Mai Mai?”
“It’s almost evening. You’re still sleeping?”
“I was tired after work. Is that illegal? What do you want?”
“I’m leaving some things at your place.” Bai Xiao Si let him in, then went to the kitchen and took out milk and bread. Seeing how anxious Mai Ding looked, she assumed he would leave after dropping off the bag. Instead, Mai Ding stood nearby staring at her intensely with a strange expression.
“What are you trying to do?”
“Xiao Si, you’re my best friend. You’re also the most helpful friend, the kindest friend. Li Ming and Zhou Ge are animals compared with you. You’re practically a fairy.”
“Stop. Don’t put that kind of hat on my head. I can’t carry it. Get to the point.” Rubbing his hands together, Mai Ding grinned ingratiatingly. “I want you to pretend to be An Zi Yan’s girlfriend.” Bai Xiao Si immediately raised her voice. “What do you think I am? Your and An Zi Yan’s shared girlfriend?!” Mai Ding gave a fake smile. “That sounds awful. You have experience. Think of yourself as a professional girlfriend. Anyone else would be too unreliable.”
“Did you discuss this with your ex-husband?”
“No. First I convince you, then I convince him.”
“I think you’ve got the order backward. No chance. If I agree before your ex-husband does, I’m the one who’ll suffer. When he decides to mess with someone, he doesn’t play around.”
“Don’t be afraid of him. I’m here, aren’t I?”
“You? What the hell can you do?” Bai Xiao Si spoke bluntly and truthfully. Mai Ding barely had any self-esteem left to injure. Most of it had already been shattered beneath An Zi Yan’s feet, so Bai Xiao Si’s words did not hurt him. He continued coaxing her. “I have my reasons. An Zi Yan will understand. He won’t say anything. It’s only for one day. Tomorrow.”
“No. I have plans tomorrow.” Mai Ding frowned tightly, thinking hard. “Then…” An idea struck him immediately. He found a bag and started picking out some of Bai Xiao Si’s personal things and stuffing them inside. Other people went to his home and treated themselves like family, so why could he not do the same in someone else’s home?
“Hey, Mai Mai, you’re pretty bold for a thief.”
“Don’t fuss over details. We’re close. I only need to borrow this stuff for a day. Give me a few pieces of your clothing too.”
“Want some underwear and sanitary pads while you’re at it?”
“N-no, thanks.” Mai Ding hurriedly refused. Bai Xiao Si rolled her eyes and went into the bedroom while Mai Ding stayed outside. An adult woman’s bedroom was not somewhere he should enter casually. Bai Xiao Si tossed some clothes at him. Mai Ding had always assumed women’s clothing smelled nice, but Bai Xiao Si’s seemed to have no particular scent at all. For the sake of confirming this completely unnecessary fact, he lifted one of her dresses to his nose and sniffed. Then he heard the shutter sound of a phone camera. Bai Xiao Si stared at the screen and sighed. “You really look like a pervert.”
“It’s a misunderstanding!”
“Don’t explain it to me. Explain it to my ex-husband.”
“He won’t know.”
“He knows now.” Bai Xiao Si hit send and waved the phone screen in front of Mai Ding. Mai Ding grabbed for it, hoping to cancel the message, but An Zi Yan had already replied.
[Make that pervert come home immediately.]
Mai Ding imitated Bai Xiao Si’s tone and replied: [Ex-husband, the photo is just a bad angle. Mai Mai isn’t a pervert. It was my fault. I wanted to mess with you and make you angry at Mai Mai.]
[You with the surname Mai, that trick doesn’t work on me.]
“How did he see through it?!” Mai Ding did not understand. He had written exactly the way Xiao Si spoke. Bai Xiao Si took her phone back, read the message Mai Ding had sent, and laughed at him. “You’re unbelievably stupid. If I were messing with my ex-husband, why would I admit it myself? Do I want to die?”
“So I’m not supposed to admit it? I always get forced into confessing.”
“So you really do want to die. Why are you still here?”
“Fine! I’m leaving. If you suddenly have time tomorrow, call me. I…”
“I won’t have time.” Bai Xiao Si slammed the door shut. Mai Ding hurried home again without stopping. The instant he entered, An Zi Yan’s sarcasm hit him directly. “A pervert really does think differently. You deliberately went to a woman’s house to smell her clothes?”
“It was a misunderstanding!”
“I can’t imagine any misunderstanding that would make you sniff them.”
“This… I have something else to do.” Mai Ding abruptly changed the subject and began arranging Bai Xiao Si’s things all around the apartment. Before An Zi Yan even had time to ask, Mai Ding spoke first. “Remember the setup. You have a loving girlfriend. You’re devoted to her until death. She occasionally stays over, but it never affects your relationship. She’s hardworking, upright, kind, considerate, and you can’t live without her.”
“Stupid setup.”
“The girlfriend is based on me, so you have to praise me properly.”
“Praise you?” An Zi Yan looked Mai Ding up and down. “That’s a little difficult.”
“Explain yourself. Is it really that hard to find good qualities in me?”
“I thought I already explained myself clearly.”
“Who do you think I’m doing all this for? If you hadn’t agreed on your own to let them come over, would I be this exhausted?” Mai Ding pointed at An Zi Yan and shouted. An Zi Yan shifted into an even lazier-looking position. “We could just tell them the truth. Public Relations is under me now. They won’t go spreading it around.”
“I know, but if they find out, they’ll make jokes about me anytime and anywhere. And…” Mai Ding’s expression turned awkward, as though he did not want to say the rest.
“And what?” Naturally, An Zi Yan refused to let him escape and insisted on asking. Mai Ding was never good at surviving interrogation, so everything came pouring out. “And then I wouldn’t be able to secretly have you all to myself anymore. Being the only two people in Public Relations who know this secret makes me feel strangely special.”
“You’re not special enough already? Forget it. I think it’d be less fun if everyone knew too.”
“Stop thinking only about whether it’s fun! Our reasons are completely different, but for once we agree, so let’s keep things this way until the day we really can’t hide it anymore. You’ll listen to me, right?”
“Depends on my mood.”
“Stop deciding everything by your mood. I can’t stand it when you act based on your mood.”
“What does that have to do with me?”
“Do you know how awful you are?!”
“No.”
“Then I’ll tell you!” Mai Ding launched himself at An Zi Yan. An Zi Yan stepped aside, and Mai Ding went sprawling face-first into the sofa. He lifted his head. “Did it never occur to you to catch me?”
“Not even once.”
“One day you’re really going to make me die of anger.”
“Will I?” An Zi Yan bent one long finger and brushed it across the bridge of Mai Ding’s nose. Mai Ding only felt his nose turn tingly and warm.