An hour felt terribly long to the children, but to Qian Xuelang it passed in the blink of an eye.
Cui Shensi closed his book, coughed twice, and said, “That is all for today’s lesson. Class dismissed.”
Although class was over, the pupils could not simply run wild. They stood respectfully to see their teacher off.
Only after Cui Shensi invited Qian Xuelang to accompany him and the two had left the courtyard did they finally hear the children come alive again, breaking into chattering laughter.
Cui Shensi led the way. He had originally been quite afraid of this cold and detached senior, but after seeing Qian Xuelang debate with the little children today, he had discovered a touch of charm that others might never know about. His heart felt so light with delight that even his steps became a little springier.
As they walked, Qian Xuelang suddenly asked, “Why are you teaching here?”
“Is Senior asking why I serve in the spirit cavalry and also teach beginners here?” Cui Shensi slowed his steps and turned to look at Qian Xuelang.
Qian Xuelang said, “Mm.”
“It’s an old rule in the city.” Cui Shensi looked a little embarrassed. “The City Lord says we disciples are young, proud, and arrogant. We learn a few skills and immediately think we’re extraordinary, but the moment we encounter anything difficult, we can’t cope. Since every one of us is so extraordinary, we might as well go teach those even more extraordinary little ancestors. First, it tempers our character; second, it saves the expense of hiring teachers.”
Qian Xuelang said mildly, “Not everyone is suited to teaching.”
Cui Shensi suddenly laughed. Qian Xuelang asked, “What are you laughing at?”
“N-no, it’s nothing…” Cui Shensi said. “I just remembered a fellow cultivator’s complaint. He said he’d never had anything he couldn’t get over before, but after a few days of teaching, he’d finally found something he couldn’t get over.”
Qian Xuelang asked, “What did he teach?”
“Swordsmanship.”
Qian Xuelang smiled faintly. “I’d rather like to see what could make someone feel that way.”
Cui Shensi, walking ahead, suddenly faltered. Qian Xuelang asked, “What is it?”
“Nothing. It’s just… he can’t teach anymore.” Cui Shensi’s voice trembled slightly, though he struggled to keep it calm. “Two days ago, Yin Wuchen killed him. Senior will never have the chance to meet him.”
Qian Xuelang asked, “Then what will happen to the swordsmanship lessons?”
After a moment’s silence, Cui Shensi answered, “It hasn’t been decided yet… but they’ll find another disciple to teach them.”
After that, Qian Xuelang asked nothing further. He had never been a man of many words, and his curiosity about Cui Shensi only extended so far. They traveled on in silence.
Cui Shensi soon led Qian Xuelang to Ren Yijue’s new lodgings, but there was no one inside.
“Senior Ren isn’t here. I wonder what Senior needed. Is there anything Shensi can help with?”
Qian Xuelang said indifferently, “I only wanted to ask when he plans to depart. Since he isn’t here, never mind. Take me back to Bright Moon Mist Tower.”
Cui Shensi blurted out, “Senior intends to leave so soon?”
Qian Xuelang did not answer. His quiet, icy eyes rested on Cui Shensi, as though the moment they left the schoolroom, every trace of warm spring air had vanished.
Cui Shensi involuntarily shivered and lowered his head deeply. “This disciple spoke out of turn.”
Qian Xuelang said nothing more.
This time, as Cui Shensi guided him back, there was not only silence but an oppressive heaviness in the air. By the time they reached Bright Moon Mist Tower, Cui Shensi’s face had gone pale and beads of cold sweat were faintly visible on his forehead.
Ren Yijue happened to be coming out of Bright Moon Mist Tower. Seeing the two of them, he smiled. “I was wondering where the Jade Beauty had gone and was just about to look for him. And here you are already. Hmm… And with young friend Shensi, no less. That’s unusual. Did something amusing happen that I don’t know about?”
As soon as he spoke, much of the tension dissolved. Cui Shensi let out a long breath. “Senior wandered into the schoolroom by accident. It was my turn to teach the children their first lessons today, so we came back together.”
“The Jade Beauty actually got lost?” Ren Yijue shook his head. “Fortunately, you met young friend Shensi. Otherwise, who knows where you would have wandered off to? It seems the Jade Beauty had better wait for Ren to guide him whenever he goes out from now on.”
Qian Xuelang said, “By that, you mean… you aren’t leaving for the time being?”
“We can’t leave just yet,” Ren Yijue said. “The City Lord said he’ll seek me out after he gets through the next few days. I don’t know what important business it is. For now, the two of us can only wait.”
Qian Xuelang nodded and walked into the little tower without another word.
Cui Shensi couldn’t help admiring how charmingly and amusingly Ren Yijue spoke, seemingly unchanged no matter how Qian Xuelang responded. Remembering Qian Xuelang’s expression earlier, though, he still felt cold in his palms.
“The Jade Beauty always does as he pleases and is accustomed to following his own whims,” Ren Yijue complained gently. “I hope he didn’t frighten the children. My apologies, young friend Shensi.”
Cui Shensi shook his head. “No. Senior didn’t frighten the children. They got along very well.”
Though Senior Qian didn’t seem to get along quite so well with me…
Fortunately, Cui Shensi wasn’t the sort to dwell on such things. Remembering the little debate and exchange of teasing words in the schoolroom, he couldn’t help smiling. He shared the amusing incident with Ren Yijue.
“Is that so?” Ren Yijue’s smile gradually faded. “That’s good, then.”
For reasons he couldn’t explain, Cui Shensi vaguely felt that Senior Ren wasn’t nearly as pleased as he appeared.
After sending Cui Shensi on his way, Ren Yijue returned to the little tower and went upstairs.
The second-floor door stood open. Qian Xuelang was wiping down Honglu, so Ren Yijue chose a seat by the window.
Ren Yijue rested his cheek against his hand and watched for quite a while before asking, “How did the Jade Beauty happen to be in the mood to play with little children today?”
His voice was soft and coaxing, almost as though he were humoring someone, but the question probed deeply, as though it were only natural that Qian Xuelang should tell him.
Wrapped in that gentle tone, the forceful inquiry seemed like innocent, harmless curiosity, without the slightest hint of ill intent.
Qian Xuelang said, “When you look at flowers and grass, do you have to find a reason for it?”
“On a clear day, one admires flowers by breathing in their delicate scent, appreciating their beauty, and admiring their virtues, like the lotus rising unstained from the mud, or the peony, splendid and graceful enough to be called the beauty of the nation.” Ren Yijue actually began to explain in perfect earnest. “On a rainy day, one admires flowers by quietly listening to raindrops strike the leaves, letting the hidden fragrance drift over, watching blossoms fall and leaves scatter, seeing half of spring slip away, and savoring the sorrow woven through mist and rain.”
“When love runs deep enough, a touch of obsession grows. Then one becomes a flower fool, helpless against one’s own nature, nearly mad with infatuation. And that is hardly uncommon.”
Elio’s Notes: Huachi (花痴) can mean someone hopelessly infatuated. Ren is playing with its literal sense of a “flower fool,” turning a speech about appreciating flowers into one about love.
Hearing him grow ever more outrageous, Qian Xuelang remained impassive and unmoved.
Ren Yijue pressed him again. “And what was the Jade Beauty’s reason?”
“Just as you told me,” Qian Xuelang said. “To go out, look around, and think, so it won’t be the same as when I was in the mountains.”
Ren Yijue had not expected his own words to be turned back on him and was briefly speechless. Fortunately, he was a difficult man to silence, and he immediately found another perfectly reasonable grievance. “Then… then you could have come and found Ren to go with you. The roads of the mortal world are confusing. Whatever would Ren do if the Jade Beauty got lost?”
“I was looking for you in the first place,” Qian Xuelang said.
Ren Yijue paused, then suddenly laughed in delight. “Then Ren was in the wrong. I should have been the one to come find the Jade Beauty, instead of putting you to the trouble of losing your way. My fault, my fault.”
An unexpected thought suddenly entered Ren Yijue’s mind.
If the Jade Beauty had heard what Cui Xuanchan said yesterday, he wondered whether he would have found the old man fussy or simply too sentimental.
He Tianjun was dead, and Feng Yinming was not someone Qian Xuelang longed for either. Would the Jade Beauty, who had no attachments, have been moved? Would he have felt wistful? Could he have tasted the myriad flavors within those words?
For now, Ren Yijue needed Qian Xuelang’s help and could not afford to let the Jade Beauty become too curious about other people or other matters. But did Ren Yijue truly want to become one of the Jade Beauty’s attachments himself?
Bickering a little and sharing a few jokes was easy and carefree. But what the Jade Beauty needed to forget was not this kind of carefree amusement. It was something far greater and more terrifying.
It was the nightmare that had haunted Cui Xuanchan for decades, the sweet nectar that had helped Cui Xuanchan emerge from his dazed confusion, the boundless sea of emotion filling all of Heaven and Earth.
A trace of melancholy rose in Ren Yijue, followed by a feeling of emptiness, and he suddenly lost all interest in joking any further.