— High School —
It had rained all night.
Su Yuan didn’t like rainy days. The stone-paved road near their old, run-down residential complex had fallen into disrepair. No matter how carefully he walked, he would always step on a loose paving stone and splash filthy water all over the legs of his trousers.
His clothes were already old. He didn’t want them to look dirty too.
Su Yuan folded his blanket and packed the homework from his little desk into his schoolbag.
When he finished, he glanced at the badminton shuttlecock on the desk and gently stroked it.
Lu Sili had given it to him during PE class the previous semester. The student playing against Su Yuan had said their shuttlecock was damaged. Lu Sili happened to be nearby and had handed over one of the new shuttlecocks he’d bought himself.
After class, Su Yuan brought it home.
While he was remembering that day, he heard movement from the living room. He knew it was his little sister. Step by step, she came to his door.
Su Yuan’s bedroom had been partitioned off from the living room. It was only eight square meters, and with so little soundproofing, he could hear everything happening in the living room.
“Zhan Kaijun,” Su Yuan called softly.
His little sister answered immediately, then knocked with her small, chubby hand. “Big Brother, can I come in?”
Su Yuan went to open the door. “What’s wrong?”
Zhan Kaijun wasn’t yet four years old. Her hair was tied into two little braids sticking up from her head, and she wore a bright pink dress. She was so round and chubby that her eyes nearly disappeared when she smiled.
She kept both hands hidden behind her back and said, “Big Brother, I heard your phone call yesterday.”
Su Yuan smiled, crouched down, and pinched her cheeks. “What did you hear?”
“You’re going on a spring outing today, aren’t you?”
“Mm. Do you want to go too?” Su Yuan asked.
Zhan Kaijun shook her head and brought her hands out from behind her back. In them were several crumpled banknotes. “You didn’t ask Mom for money. I’ll give you money to buy tasty things.”
Not long ago, a teacher had called their home, and Zhan Kaijun had answered. Cleverly promising to pass along the message, she’d learned that Su Yuan often missed extracurricular activities because he didn’t have enough money.
In her little hand were a twenty-yuan note, a ten-yuan note, and a five-yuan note, probably the largest banknotes in her savings.
“I don’t need it. Big Brother has money,” Su Yuan said.
They’d been notified about this spring outing a long time in advance. Su Yuan had saved enough from his living expenses to pay the shared outing fee and still had a little spending money left.
But Zhan Kaijun was insistent. “I’m giving it to you!”
Su Yuan smiled and fixed her hair, then took the five-yuan note from her hand. “Then I’ll take this one.”
“That’s too little.” Zhan Kaijun was already very conscious of money.
Su Yuan put the five back and took the ten instead. “This really is enough. I can buy lots of grilled sausages with this.”
Only then did Zhan Kaijun smile and hide her remaining money away.
His uncle worked at a restaurant, and his aunt ran her own little breakfast shop. Both left home very early. Su Yuan went to the kitchen to reheat breakfast. After eating with Zhan Kaijun, he dropped her off at school and then went to his own.
After coming to Yingnan No. 3 High School, Su Yuan’s grades had been average, but he loved going to school.
He loved school because he wanted to see Lu Sili there.
As usual, Su Yuan began cleaning the blackboard as soon as he reached the classroom. He always worked slowly and wiped it with great care.
At 7:56 a.m., Lu Sili came tearing around the corner with his red schoolbag and rushed into the classroom. His momentum flung him straight up to the teacher’s platform, back to back with Su Yuan and less than a meter away.
Su Yuan pressed his lips together slightly and adjusted his glasses.
Today, what Lu Sili said was, “Li Ya! You didn’t wait for me again!”
Su Yuan smiled almost imperceptibly. As soon as Lu Sili stepped down from the platform, he finished cleaning the blackboard and hurried back to his own seat.
Nobody ever paid attention to what Su Yuan was doing. Sometimes that made him feel wonderfully free, as though he were invisible and could quietly observe Lu Sili.
Lu Sili secretly read comics during class. He kicked Li Ya. He raised his hand to answer questions when the teacher was angry, easing the atmosphere.
There was an eraser near his feet. The breeze from the window made a stubborn tuft of hair stand up on his head. The instant the bell rang, he positioned his feet as though he were about to sprint.
Just like every other day.
Su Yuan was immersed in his own happiness.
That happiness grew stronger every day. The boy who’d cared for him and brought him water when he suffered heatstroke had somehow turned out to be his classmate.
That afternoon hadn’t been a one-time exception, because the Lu Sili Su Yuan came to know afterward was even better than the boy he’d met that day.
As soon as the last morning class ended, the students erupted into excited shouting. Their homeroom teacher had to bang a book against the lectern several times before the room quieted down.
“Everyone, gather at the school gate. Lu Sili, make sure you’ve counted everyone. We’ll have lunch at the campsite, then barbecue in the afternoon!”
The high school students shrieked with excitement like a troop of monkeys. Even the teacher could only smile helplessly.
As Su Yuan packed his bag, he stole glances at Lu Sili, who was discussing what snacks to buy at the school shop with Li Ya.
The teacher had rented a bus large enough to hold the entire class.
Su Yuan naturally sat in the last row.
Nobody wanted the back row. Only a few latecomers had no choice but to sit beside Su Yuan. There were still two empty seats at the front, though, which everyone had automatically reserved for Lu Sili and Li Ya.
The two of them were still outside waiting for classmates who hadn’t arrived.
Hugging his schoolbag, Su Yuan looked through the bus window and watched Lu Sili examine the attendance list.
His hair had grown a little longer. Perhaps he slept restlessly at night, because several strands were always sticking up on top. Even so, he was so good-looking that he hardly seemed to belong to the same world as the students around him.
Su Yuan smiled secretly and pretended to doze with his head against the window, when in fact he’d kept his eyes on Lu Sili the whole time.
Yingnan No. 3 High School didn’t advocate high-pressure education and often organized a variety of extracurricular activities. Spring and autumn outings were held every year.
Once they arrived at the designated campsite, the teacher gave instructions and took everyone to eat at the campsite restaurant. They would have free time afterward, and the barbecue would begin at three in the afternoon.
Lu Sili usually spent time with Li Ya, Xu Wan, and several others. Quite a few in their group had already differentiated into Alphas. Only Lu Sili and one relatively small student hadn’t differentiated yet.
Lu Sili was definitely going to differentiate into an Alpha. Su Yuan believed that too.
He’d once overheard their conversation and learned that both of Lu Sili’s parents were exceptionally accomplished Alphas.
Lu Sili was already so beautiful now. Su Yuan couldn’t imagine how handsome he’d become after differentiating into an Alpha.
Would an Alpha ever date a Beta?
Su Yuan stole a glance at his own reflection in the glass door. Uncomfortably, he straightened his back, then hunched again and hurried away carrying an armful of firewood.
Su Yuan had been assigned to start one of the fires.
There were only three long-necked lighters, and other students were using them. Su Yuan had been given an ordinary lighter and was struggling to ignite the small kindling.
“Phew!” Su Yuan blew as hard as he could.
Thick smoke billowed from the barbecue pit, stinging his eyes until tears ran down his cheeks.
A classmate preparing ingredients nearby shouted, “What are you doing?! You’re choking us! Can’t you start the fire properly? Nobody else’s fire is making this much smoke!”
Su Yuan quietly apologized, knelt down, and tried to blow the flames higher as quickly as possible.
“I’m choking to death!” another student complained.
Su Yuan hunched his shoulders and kept blowing silently, enduring the smoke.
“It’s okay. Let me do it.”
Su Yuan looked up. To his surprise, Lu Sili was standing there. He’d seen him moving tables only moments earlier. How had he appeared right in front of him so suddenly?
Lu Sili had somehow found a palm-leaf fan. “Get up. The smoke’s too much.”
Su Yuan felt Lu Sili gently tug at his clothes. He stood stiffly, and Lu Sili crouched in his place. Wielding the fan vigorously back and forth a dozen times, he quickly brought the flames to life. Su Yuan hurried to add charcoal.
“All done.” Lu Sili stood and gave Su Yuan a smile. “Thanks for working so hard! Here, you can keep the fan.”
He walked away with quick, light steps to organize the distribution of ingredients to the other students.
The handle of the fan still held the warmth of his palm. Su Yuan lowered his head and gently squeezed it.
He looked up toward Lu Sili and happened to see him laughing brightly. Su Yuan smiled along.
He’s so adorable. I like him so much.
— University —
Getting a visa to America was so difficult.
On the day Su Yuan received his visa, he was so excited he could barely contain himself. Even his professor found it strange. He rarely saw Su Yuan so animated.
Given Su Yuan’s circumstances, it would probably have been difficult for him to obtain a visa before graduation without his professor’s help.
As it happened, his professor was traveling abroad to attend an event, and Su Yuan had participated in one of the professor’s research projects, so he was going along.
It had been three years since they graduated from high school.
Three years without any news of Lu Sili.
Lu Sili hadn’t differentiated into an Alpha as everyone expected and enrolled in the military academy he’d chosen years before. Instead, he had differentiated into an Omega. News had spread among their classmates. Nobody knew exactly why, though people assumed there must have been Omega genes somewhere in his family.
Su Yuan was a Beta and knew little about the ABO system. He’d only gradually learned more after meeting Lu Sili.
During the summer break, Su Yuan had managed to contact Lu Sili while pretending to be an unfamiliar online friend. But soon afterward, Lu Sili announced that he was going abroad to study.
The string of meaningless characters under the White Jade Cup avatar disappeared from Lu Sili’s life like a gust of wind.
Later, Su Yuan saw photos on Li Ya’s social media account from a trip to visit Lu Sili in San Francisco. Only then did he learn that Lu Sili was studying at the University of California.
His university schedule gave him a little more freedom.
Su Yuan worked part-time and took on projects to earn money, eventually saving enough to make a trip to San Francisco.
He took his best clothes from the wardrobe. The drab, bespectacled boy of his school days had grown into his features somewhat. He couldn’t be called handsome, perhaps, but he’d developed a little presence of his own.
Su Yuan smiled at himself in the mirror, closed the wardrobe, and looked at the graduation photograph on his desk.
It was the only photo he had with Lu Sili.
Because of connecting flights, Su Yuan endured a journey lasting twenty hours. When he finally stood on a completely unfamiliar street in a foreign country, he couldn’t help wondering whether Lu Sili had felt equally afraid when he’d first arrived.
Su Yuan had only one day in San Francisco. That evening, he had to fly to New York to meet his professor.
Standing at the entrance to the University of California, Su Yuan suddenly laughed, amused by his own obsession with coming to San Francisco.
In a city this huge, how could I possibly find Lu Sili?
Life wasn’t a television romance.
Su Yuan didn’t even know which school or department Lu Sili attended.
He wandered aimlessly through the campus as countless unfamiliar faces passed him by. He never saw Lu Sili, yet when he left San Francisco, he still felt strangely fulfilled.
It was a wonderful university. Sitting on the campus lawn that afternoon, Su Yuan imagined Lu Sili sitting there too, like the other students, enjoying the sunshine and chatting with friends.
Surely that gloomy summer would gradually fade from Lu Sili’s mind.
As the plane climbed into the sky, Su Yuan looked down and thought that perhaps Lu Sili might be looking up at the clouds at that very moment. That alone would be something beautiful.
Su Yuan leaned against the airplane window, just as he’d once watched Lu Sili secretly from a vehicle.
Lu Sili, are you doing well? I hope you’re happy. I hope so much that I’ll see you again.
— Working Life —
Many streets in Licheng were lined with plane trees. Come autumn, their leaves turned a brilliant gold, making them beautiful.
Yutang Mountain had a particularly famous plane-tree avenue.
It was eight kilometers from the doctors’ dormitory at Municipal Hospital to Yutang Mountain, sixteen kilometers there and back. Su Yuan had been running that route for three years.
Because Lu Sili’s family home was in the villa district at the foot of Yutang Mountain.
Whenever the weather was good and he had the time, Su Yuan ran that route. Unfortunately, he’d never seen Lu Sili there.
The previous week, he’d spotted Lu Sili in behind-the-scenes footage posted by a foreign film-production company. Su Yuan had searched through the followers of the official account for three days before finding Lu Sili’s personal account. Lu Sili hadn’t returned to China to work. Instead, he’d joined F&A Film Production in Los Angeles.
Su Yuan loved watching films. They contained so many different lives, and ordinary as he was, he often allowed himself impossible dreams while watching them.
He dreamed, for example, of passing Lu Sili somewhere by chance. Lu Sili would recognize him, they’d talk about old times, and they’d exchange contact information. If he was lucky, he might become an ordinary friend who sent him greetings during holidays.
Unfortunately, Su Yuan was far too ordinary.
His schoolboy affection had become a mirage, existing only in Su Yuan’s imagination.
At least he knew Lu Sili was doing well.
Lu Sili didn’t post updates very often, only once or twice a month. Su Yuan could tell his life was full. Su Yuan’s own career was settling into place too. Municipal Hospital was the best opportunity he’d managed to find, and he cherished his work.
Love was only one part of life. Su Yuan tucked away the feelings he had nowhere to give and let them sustain him as he kept moving forward.
Over the years, whenever a film distributed by F&A was released, Su Yuan bought a ticket, no matter how busy he was. At the end, he stayed in the theater even after everyone else had left, searching the long list of credits for Lu Sili’s name.
Until one day, beside Lu Sili’s name in the production credits, he noticed an addition in parentheses: China Region.
Lu Sili had come home.
Su Yuan couldn’t sleep for a week before the wild hopes inside him gradually subsided.
He’d always understood that he and Lu Sili were unlikely ever to cross paths again. Yet when the possibility drew so close, his expectations surged uncontrollably.
Two years passed that way.
The winter wind in Licheng cut to the bone. Su Yuan had only one major surgery today. After leaving the operating room, he showered, changed his clothes, and returned to his office to fill out reports.
There was no one else in the office. After sitting down, Su Yuan glanced at the graduation photo displayed on his desk, then returned to work as usual.
Suddenly, a powerful north wind snapped a dead branch and hurled it against the glass window, drawing Su Yuan’s attention.
He looked outside. The wind was strong.
At that moment, the department director called and asked him to deliver a document to the Medical Affairs Department.
Su Yuan found the document, casually picked up the pen beside him, slipped it into his white-coat pocket, and went to Medical Affairs.
The Medical Affairs Department was in the Internal Medicine Building. After delivering the paperwork, Su Yuan came out and ran into Senior Jiang.
Senior Jiang was now director of the Department of Secondary Sex Characteristics. His talent for medicine was outstanding, and though he was only thirty-five or thirty-six, he was already among the foremost specialists in secondary sex characteristics in the country.
Senior Jiang liked playing the fool when they were off duty. He called out deliberately, “Dr. Su! What brings you to Internal Medicine?”
Su Yuan smiled, slowed down to walk beside him, and said, “Just delivering some paperwork to Medical Affairs.”
“Busy? Let’s go out for hotpot tonight,” Senior Jiang suggested.
Su Yuan nodded. “Sure. Aren’t you trying to lose weight anymore?”
Dr. Jiang said, “Nope. A little meat on your bones is good. We had an emergency patient today, an incredibly beautiful Omega, but he was practically skin and bones. Being that thin isn’t healthy.”
Su Yuan smiled faintly and glanced out the window. “That’s true.”
Just then, a nurse hurried after them. “Director Jiang, the patient who just came in, Lu Sili, says he wants to go home tonight.”
“What?!”
“What?!”
Su Yuan and Senior Jiang exclaimed at the same time.
Before Director Jiang could speak, Su Yuan anxiously interrupted. “What did you say the patient’s name was?”
The nurse looked at Director Jiang, then answered cautiously, “Lu Sili.”
“What’s going on with you?” Senior Jiang asked Su Yuan.
Su Yuan stood stunned for a long time, then suddenly smiled. The smile disappeared almost at once, replaced by deep worry. Grabbing Director Jiang’s arm, he asked, “What’s wrong with this patient?”
Su Yuan lost another night’s sleep.
But there was no longer time for him to keep thinking and hesitating.
So what if he was an ordinary, uninteresting Beta? Someone with love in his heart could find the courage to act.
The next day, Su Yuan timed his visit and went to the Internal Medicine Building. He hovered near the elevators for a long while, until finally he saw that familiar yet unfamiliar figure.
Su Yuan was so nervous he could barely force himself to say the name.
But he knew that if he missed this chance, their lives truly would never intersect again.
Su Yuan took a deep breath.
“Lu Sili!”