Perhaps it was because they now shared a secret, or perhaps because their discussion of Buddhism and scripture had suited Ren Yijue’s tastes. Ever since Honglu drank blood that day, Qian Xuelang could sense a change in Ren Yijue’s attitude.
Whether that change was for better or worse, Qian Xuelang could not say.
Several more peaceful days passed. One day, Qian Xuelang found it difficult to regulate his breathing. After sitting quietly for a short while, his thoughts only grew more unsettled, so he simply gave up. His shoes touched lightly to the floor as he rose from his cushion. Looking past the screen, he was surprised to find Ren Yijue nowhere in sight.
One of them was injured, while the other’s emergence from seclusion had gone awry.
Qian Xuelang was aloof by nature and rarely spoke, spending most of his time regulating his breathing.
Ren Yijue was somewhat livelier. He occasionally went out, and he also liked reading to amuse himself and pass the time. The snow cave was usually almost silent, so Qian Xuelang had no idea when he had left.
He went out, and I noticed nothing at all.
Qian Xuelang felt a trace of surprise, though nothing showed on his face. Ren Yijue was absent, but he was in no hurry. He simply took Honglu outside and practiced with the saber.
Once his mind had settled somewhat, Qian Xuelang returned to meditate and regulate his breathing.
Two days passed like this, and Ren Yijue still did not return.
Qian Xuelang had sensed no outsider intruding upon the mountain and knew Ren Yijue was unlikely to be in mortal danger. But today was the day they were meant to go to the spirit pool and suppress the demonic qi. After considering the matter, he decided to go out and look for him.
The snowy mountain was bitterly cold and supported little life. Qian Xuelang searched for half a day before finding Ren Yijue near a sheer cliff.
Qian Xuelang moved lightly and steadily, passing almost like a breeze without the slightest sound. Yet Ren Yijue seemed to have eyes in the back of his head. He smiled. “Why has Your Excellency come looking for me today?”
“Today we should go to the spirit pool,” Qian Xuelang said, unsurprised. “I promised Feng Yinming that I would keep you safe.”
Ren Yijue turned his face toward him. The usual smile faded, making him seem suddenly more distant, though his voice remained soft and gentle. “Ah, so it was today. I forgot something important. But since we’ve already missed the proper time, we might as well let the mistake stand and go to the spirit pool a day later.”
“That is fine,” Qian Xuelang said.
The words were finished, yet Qian Xuelang showed no intention of leaving. They had known each other only a short time, but Ren Yijue was extremely orderly in everything he did. Without some reason, he would never have casually broken an appointment.
But should he ask?
Qian Xuelang hesitated slightly.
Ren Yijue noticed the unusual pause and took the initiative to invite him. “Since Your Excellency also seems inclined to steal a moment of leisure, why not sit here and admire it with me?”
“Admire what?”
“The scenery, naturally.”
Qian Xuelang’s condition would not worsen for the loss of a few moments. Nor was he attached to beautiful scenery. Whether he stayed or left made no difference to him.
After a moment’s thought, he chose to sit beside Ren Yijue.
Ren Yijue was rather strange. He looked cultured and refined, yet beneath that gentleness lingered an inescapable coldness and distance. Added to his quick intelligence and subtle mind, perhaps it was no surprise that he was such a person of deep feeling.
Presumably, the snow cave was too cold and austere, and the cultivation there too stifling.
“You were able to leave without my noticing.” They would need patience before the scenery revealed itself. Qian Xuelang sat silently for a moment and, seeing that speaking would not disturb Ren Yijue, finally continued, “You truly do possess the ability to venture into a demonic land.”
Ren Yijue joked casually, “Your Excellency’s eyes weren’t open at the time.”
Though it was only a joke, Qian Xuelang took it seriously. “For me, whether my eyes are open makes no difference.”
Ren Yijue froze, and his smile faded somewhat. “It is only an insignificant little trick.”
After that exchange, Qian Xuelang stopped speaking. He did not care what scenery Ren Yijue wished to see, and he had no other subject to ask about, so silence settled between them again.
By then it was nearly dusk. The setting sun rested against the mountains, gilding the snow until the slopes resembled fields of flowing gold.
Before long, the last clouds of sunset deepened. The red sun sank lower, staining the nearby rocks, grasses, and trees a dark blood-red.
After another while, the Milky Way seemed immersed in the clear waters of moonlight. Soft radiance spread of its own accord. Looking toward the sheer cliffs among the clouds, one saw violet snow and green mist, still figures and secluded scenery, all soundless for a time.
They sat together for many hours. Even the moonlight seemed reluctant to shift before Ren Yijue finally spoke. “The day I climbed this mountain, I wondered what kind of refined recluse would treasure the serenity of this place enough to live here.”
Qian Xuelang said, “Of all the scenery beneath heaven, what place is not beautiful? What does any of it have to do with me?”
“Exactly.” Ren Yijue turned to study him carefully, a deeply playful smile on his face. After a long while he gave a soft sigh. “I realized very quickly that I had been wrong. You do not treasure these things in the least. Naturally, you would not even bother to look at them.”
Qian Xuelang suddenly asked, “Why are you angry?”
“I am not angry.” Ren Yijue shook his head. “I merely thought of someone. I do not know whether she would enjoy scenery like this, or whether, like you, she keeps nothing in her heart.”
Qian Xuelang found that strange. “You think of this person, yet you do not know her?”
“She and I have one of the closest relationships two people can have in this world, yet we never spent so much as a single day together,” Ren Yijue said. “But when all is said and done, even if people know one another, even if they spend every morning and evening together, who dares claim they truly understand what the other thinks and feels?”
One of the closest relationships in the world, yet they had never spent even a single day together. It could hardly be an ordinary friendship.
And given Ren Yijue’s temperament, it was even less likely to be a lover…
His mother, perhaps, or a sister?
Qian Xuelang asked again, “Is that why you are displeased with her?”
“…And here I thought Your Excellency truly cared about nothing.” Ren Yijue slyly sidestepped the subject. “I never imagined you could be this curious. Or is it that you are curious specifically about me?”
Qian Xuelang looked at him for a moment. “About you.”
The answer was so direct that Ren Yijue failed to hide his reaction. Shock crossed his face. “What?”
Qian Xuelang showed none of the embarrassment one might expect after saying something startling. He slowly rose, looking down at Ren Yijue from above with the same expression as always. “I cannot pass the trial of emotion, while you are a man of deep feeling. That is why I wish to ask your guidance.”
The curiosity, confusion, and surprise surging in Ren Yijue’s heart all froze at once. The moonlight was silent as it fell across Qian Xuelang’s face, and for a moment it was impossible to tell which possessed living warmth and which was the cold, lifeless thing.
Perhaps even moonlight held more tenderness than Qian Xuelang.
So that was it.
Ren Yijue thought slowly and deliberately, giving himself time to smooth his expression so that it would not look quite so ugly.
Crueler than useless tenderness, more hypocritical than frivolous consolation, Qian Xuelang’s directness offered no cover at all. His insight was even more unpleasant. Those beautiful eyes, misty as smoke, had never stirred with emotion or desire. They simply flayed a person open, stripped flesh from bone, and scraped away whatever might be useful to him.
This flawless Jade Beauty stirred the emotions of others only so that he might cleanse away the last stains remaining upon himself.
Qian Xuelang watched him quietly for a long while. The evening breeze lifted his frost-white hair, yet his gaze never moved.
“Your heart is in turmoil.”