“No… I was half asleep.” Su Yuan’s expression changed drastically, and he even looked as though he wanted to turn over and go back to sleep.
So it had not been a dream.
It was not a dream. Lu Sili really was right in front of him, here in this tiny dorm room, sitting at the edge of the bed and even holding his hand.
Happier than a dream.
But then Su Yuan remembered that he had just mentioned what happened last night. He knew Lu Sili was proud, hated being controlled by pheromones, and hated even more seeing himself in that helpless, out-of-control state.
So Su Yuan had planned to say nothing at all and simply pretend nothing had happened.
Seeing the strange look on Su Yuan’s face, Lu Sili gently let go of his hand and spoke first. “I was passing Municipal Hospital and figured you might still be at work, so I came to see you.”
Lu Sili was a little worried Su Yuan would bring up last night.
He kept telling himself it had already happened and that he had to face it sooner or later. Su Yuan was not anyone else. He knew why Lu Sili had ended up like that.
But his pride made him want to retreat, while also forcing him to face it.
He lifted his eyes toward Su Yuan.
Su Yuan pushed himself upright. “Sorry. After surgery, I found I had almost an hour free, so I took a nap.”
“I know. Your coworker said you had a lot of surgeries today. You must be exhausted.”
Lu Sili’s light, natural tone finally let Su Yuan relax a little. He smiled and reached up to smooth his hair.
“What about you? I’ve been worried all day that you might feel unwell.”
“I’m doing great.” Lu Sili simply stood up and walked a circle around the cramped dorm room, mocking himself. “See? Omegas are just like this.”
There was another meaning buried in that sentence. Both of them heard it, but neither knew how to respond.
All Su Yuan could do was smile and say, “That’s good.”
Lu Sili sat back down. “I brought you food. Want some?”
This was Lu Sili’s first time seeing Su Yuan just after waking up. During the time they had lived together, Su Yuan had never slept in, whether on a workday or a day off. By the time Lu Sili got up, Su Yuan was always already making breakfast or had left for work.
His hair was slightly messy, and the T-shirt on his body was wrinkled too. He sat beside the small table by the bed, ready to eat something.
The room had heating, so Su Yuan did not put on another layer. As soon as he sat down, the bright red scratch marks along both arms were exposed.
They were sitting very close. Lu Sili silently shifted his gaze away, mortified when he remembered how he had left those marks on Su Yuan the night before.
Lu Sili swallowed lightly and cleared his throat. “Aren’t you cold?”
“No.”
“It’s still a little cold, isn’t it?”
Lu Sili’s gaze landed on Su Yuan’s arms.
“Huh?” Following Lu Sili’s gaze, Su Yuan looked down at his bare arms and finally understood. He reached toward the metal rack beside the bed for a shirt. “It is a little chilly. I’ll put something on.”
“Right? Take care of yourself. Don’t catch a cold.”
“Mm-hm.”
“Oh, right.” Once Su Yuan had eaten most of the food and taken a sip of juice, he asked, “When I came to get you last night, that girl told me roughly what happened. But I was busy getting you out of there and didn’t have time to deal with it.”
“Mm. I’ll handle it,” Lu Sili answered softly.
He had no intention of dragging Su Yuan into this.
Su Yuan looked up at him. “Are you going to call the police?”
“If I do, the media will blow this up for sure. Once they start embellishing things, who knows what it’ll turn into? Calling the police is the last resort. I won’t do it unless I have to,” Lu Sili said.
“But this wasn’t your fault.” Su Yuan frowned slightly.
Lu Sili gave a faint laugh.
Su Yuan was not wearing his glasses right now, and his eyes were a little swollen from sleep. Compared with how he looked in glasses, Lu Sili thought he was rather cute like this too.
He had to admit that he really was worried. If he called the police and the matter exploded, it could cause trouble for Su Yuan.
Gossip media would do anything for clicks. Even if something was not true, rumors could still end up affecting Su Yuan’s work.
It could not have been easy becoming a doctor at Municipal Hospital.
And Lu Sili knew perfectly well that none of this was his fault.
Now that he understood where Su Yuan stood, Lu Sili felt he should at least explain his own thinking and the current situation clearly.
Resting one hand on the little table and propping his chin on it, he said, “Situ He’s father is considered an influential businessman in Licheng, and his grandfather used to be in politics. Honestly, his family background is pretty powerful. I’m not afraid of him, but if I report this, Ru Que and you would both count as witnesses. If Situ He’s family steps in to protect him, I’m worried it could affect you.”
Su Yuan was still frowning.
“Maybe you want to say you don’t care, but I’ll still worry. So my plan is to make Situ He apologize to me first. He humiliated me this way, and I’ll return the favor. I’m a senior executive at F&A and have at least some influence in the entertainment industry. I won’t come out of this at a disadvantage.”
After saying that, Lu Sili smiled. “You don’t need to worry about exactly how I’ll handle it. In any case, I’m not some harmless little rabbit waiting to be slaughtered.”
“What if it doesn’t go smoothly?” Su Yuan asked.
Lu Sili said, “We’ll cross that bridge when we come to it.”
Ever since that summer when he was sixteen and began to hate how ordinary he was, Su Yuan had fallen back into this same dilemma after one brief, magnificent burst of happiness.
Even if he did everything he possibly could, was the best he could manage still only standing just behind Lu Sili?
When Lu Sili encountered danger or difficulty, Su Yuan was still just as powerless as he had been that summer after graduating from high school.
Seeing Su Yuan looking both aggrieved and angry, Lu Sili reached out and lightly patted his arm. “Why are you making that face?”
“Should we… tell your parents and ask them to step in and help?” Su Yuan asked tentatively.
The smile at the corner of Lu Sili’s mouth turned a little bitter. He pressed his lips together. “They’re probably very busy. Forget it.”
It was not that Lu Sili thought asking his family to back him up would somehow be dishonorable. His relationship with his parents was simply distant, and he did not want to ask them for help.
Especially not over something like this.
From the day he got married until now, Lu Sili had not contacted his parents once. Just like every year before, they were busy devoting themselves to greater causes.
And a son who had differentiated into an Omega could no longer walk the same path they had.
“You live long enough, you’re bound to take a loss sometimes,” Lu Sili said with a smile.
The calm acceptance on Lu Sili’s face startled Su Yuan, and then an endless ache welled up inside him.
At some unknown moment, the once proud, confident, sunny, stubborn Lu Sili had been hidden away.
During all the years Su Yuan could not see him, Lu Sili had faced so much pain alone.
Lu Sili saw something sorrowful in Su Yuan’s eyes, but the next second he turned his head away. He could not face it, because he was beginning to understand that whatever kind of feeling lay behind it, Su Yuan truly cared about him.
Beyond the little window were the neon lights of high-rises and a vast world.
Everyone was proud when they were young, but life always wore some of that pride away.
Lu Sili thought about it too. When exactly had he accepted all of this?
Was it one month after differentiating into an Omega, when his parents chose to divorce? Was it when the university that had intended to admit him called to say Omegas could not choose that major? Or was it after he had spent a long time abroad recovering, only to lose an opportunity on a project he had worked on for half a semester because his heat happened to arrive?
There were too many things. If he counted them one by one, dawn would probably come first.
“I’ll support you,” Su Yuan suddenly said.
Lu Sili turned toward him and gave a faint smile, but did not respond.
Su Yuan put his glasses back on. “I don’t want you to be the one who loses out. How about I wait for a dark and windy night, throw a sack over Situ He’s head, and beat him up?”
“Seriously?” Lu Sili burst out laughing.
“Of course. I’ll go apprentice myself to Ru Que and learn a few moves.”
At that, Lu Sili thought back to Ru Que’s skills the night before. “Ru Que looks like such a refined Beta. I never expected her to be that formidable. Situ He is around one-ninety, too.”
Su Yuan laughed. “You underestimated us Betas, didn’t you? I heard Ru Que actually competed in boxing.”
“Sure.” Lu Sili played along with a laugh. “The whole world would stop turning without you Betas!”
Both of them burst out laughing.
The atmosphere was perfect when someone suddenly knocked on the door.
It was a male nurse who was very familiar with Su Yuan. He had just come from the operating room and did not know Lu Sili was there, so he pushed the door open a crack and stuck his head in. “Dr. Su, it’s about time to head upstairs.”
Then he saw that there were two people in the room and was so startled that he immediately shut the door again.
“It’s fine!” Lu Sili hurriedly called out. “Come in!”
From outside, the nurse said, “No, no, it’s fine. Sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt you two.”
Terrified that the man would misunderstand and imagine all sorts of nonsense happening in this tiny room, Lu Sili stamped his foot in frustration, lightly smacked Su Yuan’s forearm, and hissed, “Say something!”
Su Yuan did not know whether to laugh or cry. He called toward the door, “It’s fine, Xiao Yang. Come in. Have something to eat.”
There was silence outside for several seconds before the nurse called Xiao Yang finally pushed the door open. He stepped inside, gently pulled the door mostly closed behind him, and smiled awkwardly.
“This is my husband, Lu Sili,” Su Yuan introduced.
Xiao Yang was a shy Beta wearing transparent-framed glasses. His clogs were printed with anime characters, and everything about him radiated a homebody vibe. He grinned foolishly. “Hello, husband. Hehe…”
Lu Sili: “…”
“No, wait, hello, brother-in-law… no, that’s not right either, um…” Xiao Yang looked ready to crumble into pieces.
Lu Sili laughed. “I should be older than you. Just call me Brother Lu.”
Xiao Yang relaxed a little. “Hello, Brother Lu.”
Lu Sili had brought more food for Su Yuan than for everyone else. Su Yuan had only eaten half of it so far, and there was still an untouched pizza and a taro-ball milk drink, so he told Xiao Yang to eat before getting off work.
Surgery could not be delayed, so Lu Sili took the initiative and said he should head home.
Su Yuan hurriedly put on his clothes and walked out with him.
Since reuniting with Su Yuan, the only other time Lu Sili had seen him in a white coat was the first time they met again at the hospital. Back then they had been unfamiliar and distant, and Lu Sili had even been a little resistant, so he had not thought much of it. Now the circumstances were different, and he suddenly realized Su Yuan looked rather good in it.
The silver wire-rimmed glasses set off his healthy fair complexion. His eyes were deep-set, his nose bridge high, and his hair was naturally black and cut short. He had broad shoulders and long legs. Beneath the white coat, his shirt was buttoned all the way to the top, and a black-and-silver pen was clipped into one pocket.
Proper and refined, apparently gentle. But when Lu Sili remembered certain fragments from the previous night, he suddenly felt that the gaze behind those lenses did not seem quite so innocent after all.
Completely different from the domestic-husband vibe he had when wearing an apron and cooking at home.
A husband with many faces.
“What is it?” Su Yuan grew embarrassed under Lu Sili’s stare and looked down to see whether his white coat was dirty.
Lu Sili only smiled and did not answer.
The operating room was on another floor. They would pass the office on the way, and when Su Yuan went inside to put something down, he unexpectedly found six people there.
The moment Su Yuan entered, everyone craned their necks to look behind him. Lu Sili, who had not planned to go in, had no choice but to follow and greet them.
It was obvious they had all come to eat a late-night meal.
“I told you, didn’t I? He’s especially handsome,” the female doctor from earlier said.
“So you’re Xiao Lu? I could tell from the photo you were handsome, but you look even better in person.” A middle-aged male doctor said that, then complained to Su Yuan, “And you said he doesn’t smile much. He smiles plenty! You were talking nonsense.”
Lu Sili was starting to regret coming here in a tracksuit and a giant padded coat.
His polite smile turned genuine. His eyes curved, and his face flushed slightly. He knew he looked good, of course, but people rarely praised him this openly and cheerfully.
“I hope I’m not disturbing you.”
“Not at all, not at all. How could you?” everyone answered at once. Then they praised everything Lu Sili had brought as delicious and invited him to join them for a meal next time.
From the way his coworkers treated him, it was obvious that Su Yuan was well liked at work too.
As everyone kept praising Lu Sili, Su Yuan unconsciously straightened his back, looking even happier than if he himself had been praised.
Because the marriage had happened so suddenly and there had been no wedding, everyone had always been curious about Su Yuan’s marriage and his partner. Lu Sili’s family circumstances and identity were both impressive, even a little unusual, and Su Yuan rarely discussed his private life with coworkers. He only casually mentioned things like “I’m going home to cook,” “We’re visiting Grandma together this weekend,” or “My wife said this was delicious too.”
At that moment, a young woman asked, “I heard you work for a film company? Does that mean you get to see celebrities all the time? Is it fun?”
The instant she asked, Su Yuan’s heart jumped, and he turned to look at Lu Sili.
He knew Lu Sili hated those gossipy relatives in his own family. Whenever relatives occasionally made requests like this, Lu Sili ignored them. Su Yuan himself had only ever told coworkers, when they pressed him, that Lu Sili worked in the film industry and was very busy.
Afraid Lu Sili might be unhappy, Su Yuan hurried to cut in. “Well…”
“Yeah.” Lu Sili was not displeased at all. Leaning lightly against Su Yuan’s desk, he told the woman, “I work at F&A. If our company has an event or a premiere sometime and any of you are interested, you can come have fun. I’ll arrange it.”
“Wow!”
Everyone knew it was a major company, and all of them immediately gave him starry-eyed looks.
Lu Sili lowered his head slightly and secretly glanced at Su Yuan, the corner of his mouth lifting as if to say: I didn’t embarrass you, did I?
After staying in the office for a few minutes, Su Yuan needed to go change, so Lu Sili left with him. While they waited for the elevator, Su Yuan could not stop smiling.
“You’ve worked all day and you’re still this happy?” Lu Sili smiled too.
This was normally his least favorite hospital, so why did the atmosphere feel so nice today?
Su Yuan nodded. “Mm.”
Lu Sili asked, “Are you coming home tonight?”
What Lu Sili meant was whether the surgery would run very late. If work was too busy, it would be perfectly normal for Su Yuan to make do at the hospital for one night.
But Su Yuan reacted strongly and immediately turned toward him. “I am! Of course I am. I’ll come home every day.”
“Okay.” Lu Sili laughed and teased him. “I’m not checking up on you.”
The tips of Su Yuan’s ears turned red. “I know. What I meant was…”
The elevator arrived. It was going down, and because it was already late, no one else was inside.
Su Yuan naturally reached out to hold the elevator door so Lu Sili could enter first. “Go home, take a shower, and get to bed early. I probably won’t be home until after midnight. If you get hungry, there’s food in the fridge. Just heat it in the microwave. And remember to take your medicine.”
He had said almost the exact same thing that morning.
Lu Sili nodded. When he looked at Su Yuan, something felt different.
Lu Sili could not identify what that feeling was. He only knew that being with Su Yuan like this felt very easy. The intimacy of last night, the awkward tangled feelings of the morning, and all the miserable things from the past day and night had mostly dissolved by now.
It turned out Su Yuan was even better than he had imagined. He had avoided mentioning last night because he was afraid Lu Sili would feel awkward. He had said he would support him. He had even said he would come home every day.
Would things have been better if they had met again sooner?
The thought startled Lu Sili. The version of himself from back then had been a mess. He probably would have only worn down anyone who stayed beside him.
Now was good.
“I’m leaving.”
“Okay.”
The elevator doors slowly slid shut. Lu Sili took a deep breath, then suddenly stepped forward and jabbed the door-open button twice before they could close completely.
“Su Yuan.”
“Mm?”
“Thank you.”
There was no need to explain what for. Su Yuan answered gently, “Okay.”