After hanging up and lying down, Lu Sili belatedly realized how much he had taken for granted. If removing the gland were really that easy, he would have done it ten years ago.
Luke asked about the follow-up tests at Municipal Hospital. Lu Sili said the results were not all back yet, then immediately made the excuse that year-end work was too busy and said he would see him when he had time.
Luke was used to Lu Sili behaving like a workaholic, but he still could not help worrying.
There was so much work at the end of the year, not to mention F&A’s year-end gala. Who knew how many suppressants Lu Sili would inject just to make it safely through an event packed with Alphas.
When Lu Sili said he was busy with work, at least that part was true.
The fainting incident was soon left behind. Lu Sili ignored the barrage of messages from his grandmother and threw himself back into work so completely that he even forgot his promise to Dr. Jiang to pick up his reports from the hospital.
He was in a meeting when Su Yuan sent him a friend request.
Even the seating arrangements for the year-end gala had people arguing back and forth. Lu Sili was fed up, but he could not simply wave the matter through.
He had not had an appetite at breakfast and had eaten only half a small bowl of blueberries. Now low blood sugar was attacking him in earnest.
Lu Sili accepted the friend request.
F&A elio: [?]
Su Yuan: [This is Su Yuan.]
F&A elio: [I can see your ID. What’s the matter?]
Su Yuan: [Dr. Jiang said he couldn’t reach you. He asked me to find out when you’re coming to pick up your reports.]
Lu Sili’s fingers moved over the screen, about to type that he would go when he had time.
Another message from Su Yuan arrived first: [Preferably within the next couple of days. Dr. Jiang is going to Sweden on Friday for the Frontiers in Secondary Sex Characteristics Conference and won’t be back for a week.]
Lu Sili’s typing fingers stopped.
He knew about that conference. He had come across it while researching gland-removal surgery. It was held every two years and brought together the world’s leading experts in secondary sex characteristics. Gland removal and postoperative recovery were among its central topics, and any new developments in the field would surface there.
If Dr. Jiang was going too, perhaps he might come back with good news.
F&A elio: [I see. Got it, thank you.]
After sending the message, Lu Sili checked his work schedule. He even had an international conference call with headquarters at ten that night. There was simply no time to go to the hospital.
He was thinking about asking someone else to pick the reports up for him when another message from Su Yuan arrived.
Su Yuan: [I’m in Dr. Jiang’s office right now. If you don’t have time, I can pick them up for you and bring them over after work.]
Lu Sili’s instinct was to refuse. After the college entrance exam, when he differentiated, he had cut contact with nearly all his old classmates and friends. Only his childhood friend Li Ya still kept in touch.
He had neither the time nor the desire to recover old friendships, and he was not used to troubling other people.
But when he thought about it, he really did need the favor.
Forget it. There was nothing wrong with being a little pragmatic.
F&A elio: [Then I’ll trouble you. Dinner is on me.]
Su Yuan: [Sure. We can catch up while we’re at it.]
Catch up? Lu Sili pressed his lips together in resistance, but politely replied anyway: [All right.]
Although Lu Sili was extremely busy, his professionalism had also made punctuality a habit. He arrived at the restaurant almost exactly on time, only to find that Su Yuan was already waiting inside.
Lu Sili came through the door slightly out of breath as he searched for Su Yuan, then quickly spotted him at a table by the window. He slipped off his cashmere coat as he walked over.
“Sorry. I’m late.”
“You aren’t. Sit down.” Su Yuan’s expression was every bit as polite as his own.
He was dressed in a shirt and sweater again today, with his down jacket draped over another chair. A tote bag sat there too, and the corner of a white folder peeked out of it. That was probably Lu Sili’s report.
Lu Sili sat down, picked up the menu, and asked casually, “Have you ordered?”
Su Yuan said he had not and told Lu Sili to choose. Lu Sili had picked the restaurant and had eaten there several times before. After asking about Su Yuan’s tastes, he ordered several dishes with practiced ease.
While they waited for the food, the two of them simply sat there.
The Su Yuan in Lu Sili’s memory had never talked much. Since the man had gone out of his way to bring him the reports, it would be awkward to leave him sitting there in silence. Lu Sili no longer enjoyed idle conversation himself, but he still took the initiative and found a topic.
“You… you’ve changed a lot. I almost didn’t recognize you at the hospital the other day.”
Su Yuan dipped his head slightly, gave a soft laugh, then looked up. “Have I?”
Lu Sili said, “Yeah. You’re much more handsome.”
“Thank you.” Su Yuan had heard that plenty of times, but saying thank you now felt different from all the others, almost as though he had finally let out a breath. Then he looked at Lu Sili and said, “You’re still the same as before.”
Lu Sili laughed. “Me? I… I’m very different.”
The words left an inexplicable bitterness behind. Keeping his face expressionless, Lu Sili avoided Su Yuan’s gaze.
Silence spread between them.
A flicker of panic crossed Su Yuan’s eyes.
Everyone knew Lu Sili was different from before. He had been different ever since the summer he differentiated into an Omega.
“Sorry,” Su Yuan said.
Lu Sili forced a smile. “What are you apologizing for? I’m fine. It’s been so many years. How could I possibly still be the same person I was as a teenager?”
Lu Sili looked up and happened to meet Su Yuan’s unsettled gaze. Su Yuan seemed to want to say something but stopped himself, so Lu Sili tilted his head slightly. “Hm?”
Su Yuan quickly composed himself. “Nothing. Do you want to look at your report?”
“Sure,” Lu Sili said.
It was a thick stack. Dr. Jiang had circled the key figures in red.
Lu Sili turned a page, then another…
“I can’t really understand it.” Lu Sili finally admitted it. Slightly embarrassed, he looked at Su Yuan and found Su Yuan looking back at him, which made him instinctively avert his eyes.
Su Yuan held out a hand. “Which part don’t you understand?”
Lu Sili handed him the reports. “Most of it. But I assume all these circles mean there’s a problem. Just tell me this: how bad is my health?”
The waiter began bringing out their food. The first dish was pigeon soup. As Su Yuan ladled some into a bowl, he lowered his voice and explained, “Overall, this report confirms Dr. Jiang’s earlier diagnosis. Several readings are outside the normal range, and your gland is in a fragile state. Beyond the problems during heat, it is already affecting your daily life. Your body has difficulty metabolizing the excessive amount of suppressants, for example, which can cause you to faint. Your digestive system has been affected the most.”
As Su Yuan spoke, he passed the soup to Lu Sili and looked at him. “You’ve lost a lot of weight this year, haven’t you?”
“Yes.” Lu Sili had no intention of hiding it. “I actually get anxious pretty often because I have no appetite. I’ll obviously be hungry, but I just can’t eat.”
Su Yuan relayed Dr. Wei’s diagnosis to Lu Sili in full.
By then all the dishes had arrived. Lu Sili picked up food several times, only to let it pile up in his bowl. He had no appetite and drank only the soup.
After listening to everything, all he could do was mock himself helplessly. “Am I only going to live a few more years?”
Lu Sili looked up at Su Yuan with a smile, but Su Yuan apparently did not find the joke funny. He frowned slightly and stared at him with a grave expression.
“I’m kidding. Luke has actually told me most of this too.”
“Luke?”
“Mm. My private physician.”
Su Yuan frowned even more deeply. “As your private physician, didn’t he tell you that your health is in very bad shape?”
“No, you’ve misunderstood.” Lu Sili defended Luke. “He’s always warning me. I’m just not a very obedient patient.”
Su Yuan said quietly, “Your family must worry about you.”
“Mm. They keep pushing me to get married too. They say I should find someone to take care of me, but that’s awfully optimistic. It’s not as if other people are stupid enough to choose a sickly Omega who’s never home because he’s always working. I even went on a blind date once, and the other person asked when I’d be able to have a child.”
As he spoke, Lu Sili’s smile turned slightly bitter. “But I don’t even know what love is yet…”
Lu Sili did not understand. He had said it with a smile, so why did Su Yuan look worried?
Seeing that worried expression somehow made Lu Sili feel guilty.
“I do worry about my health. I’m just too busy with work. Lately I’ve been thinking I should simply remove the gland and solve the problem once and for all.”
Su Yuan looked at Lu Sili. Something unnamed stirred in his eyes, and he remained silent for a long time.
The restaurant was warm, yet Lu Sili’s hands and feet were still cold. He moved the chopsticks in his right hand and picked listlessly through the food in his bowl. No appetite meant no appetite.
The careless smile that had been hanging on his face gradually disappeared. Lu Sili set down his chopsticks and raised his eyes to meet Su Yuan’s heavy gaze.
This old classmate sitting opposite him was practically a stranger now, but Su Yuan knew how proud Lu Sili had once been.
Both of Lu Sili’s parents were Alphas who shone in their respective fields. Raised with an excellent education and every advantage a wealthy family could provide, Lu Sili had been strong and healthy since childhood, taller and more energetic than many boys his age. On more than one occasion, he had said he wanted to become an astronaut or serve in the navy, just like his parents.
He understood that childhood dreams were fragile. He simply had never expected his to break this way.
Aerospace and seafaring were both fields a physically frail Omega could never enter.
Lu Sili smiled.
“Lu Sili.”
“Hm?”
Su Yuan set down his chopsticks as well. He took a wet wipe from his bag and carefully cleaned his hands, clearly thinking just as seriously about the “joke” Lu Sili had made. When he lowered his head, the restaurant lights reflected off his lenses, hiding his eyes.
He gently dropped the used wipe into the trash bin.
Su Yuan raised his head and analyzed the situation calmly. “Under current standards, gland-removal surgery is classified as a Level IV operation. The surgical risk is high. It demands not only a very skilled surgeon, but also a patient in strong physical condition. So there are two things you need to consider. First, the hospital, the surgeon, and the high cost of the operation. I know there are plenty of hospitals and doctors without the proper qualifications who will perform gland-removal surgery cheaply, but the risk is enormous, especially for Omegas, whose physical condition is comparatively weaker.”
Su Yuan had been the dependable sort even as a student, the kind of person who cleaned the eraser and chalk tray after wiping down the blackboard. He had never had much presence, but during the semester when they shared cleaning duty, Lu Sili had been fortunate enough to notice him.
Because club activities always made Lu Sili return late, he would insist on taking the final mopping shift. Orange sunset would flood the corridor, and when he came back from the washroom to the classroom, he would see Su Yuan standing hunched at the classroom door, waiting for Lu Sili, who was afraid of the dark, so they could lock up and go downstairs together.
Thinking of those days, Lu Sili looked at Su Yuan now, steadier and more dependable after shedding the timidity and awkwardness of adolescence. Without realizing it, Lu Sili relaxed and leaned lightly against the back of his chair as he listened.
“Given your current situation, you don’t need to worry about access to a hospital or about money.” Su Yuan placed both hands on the table as though he were running a regular staff meeting. “The second issue is you. Your physical condition. As you are now, your body absolutely cannot withstand the trauma of gland-removal surgery. But your health can be improved scientifically. I’m a doctor. At most, it would take about two years. Also, a Level IV operation requires the signature of either a partner or an immediate family member. You don’t currently have a partner, so you’d have to discuss it with your family. According to the data, more than ninety percent of families refuse to let their child undergo this operation.”
“Mm. So?” Lu Sili asked.
Years in a senior corporate position had forcibly honed Lu Sili into someone whose bearing differed from that of many Omegas. Even with Su Yuan displaying such professionalism and reliability, Lu Sili would never allow himself to occupy the lower position in the conversation. Instead, there was something almost aggressive and appraising in his gaze.
Su Yuan could, of course, feel it.
He delivered his final conclusion. “My family is pressuring me to marry too. Would you consider marrying me?”