I lived in reality. Then, at the door to Dorm Room 501, I met you.
For one brief moment, I thought the sunlight had blinded my eyes and my reason.
Because from that moment on, you carried me into a fairy tale.
What was happening? Brilliant colors seeped in from every direction, and you stood within my field of vision.
An Zi Yan! I called your name. What should I do next? There are so many ways to say I love you. Which one should I say first?
—Mai Ding
Countless times, people had described time with vicious words, yet it remained unmoved, scorning humanity’s insignificance simply by continuing to pass. All it had to do was glide elegantly past you, and you changed. It was awful. Only children wished for time to hurry. Mai Ding, who was no longer a child, knitted his brows as he pondered the problem, tapping his fingers against the desk in an attempt to look profound. Beside him, the student Mai Ding considered beyond saving was sprawled over his desk asleep. Mai Ding had gone to great trouble to wake him that morning, only for him to fall asleep again in class.
“An Zi Yan, do you have any sense of shame?!” Mai Ding finally snapped, berating An Zi Yan for failing to embody the healthy, positive image expected of one of the motherland’s blossoming youths. Even after being together for quite some time, the two of them still had no pet names or anything of the sort.
“You’re so noisy.”
“I’ve only said one sentence and you already think I’m noisy? We’re about to start our internships. You should have some sense of urgency!”
“Only an idiot like you needs a sense of urgency.”
Mai Ding folded his arms, unconvinced. “I’m taking employment seriously. Someone as honest, dependable, and hardworking as me might have companies fighting over him when the time comes. I’m more worried about you. Don’t get discouraged and turn into some delinquent youth.” Mai Ding gazed at An Zi Yan sympathetically, as though he could already see the future. An Zi Yan raised his head and propped his cheek on one hand. “Fighting over you? If I hadn’t reluctantly taken you in, a junk collector would’ve picked you up ages ago.”
“I’m not garbage!!”
“Who said you were garbage?”
“That’s more like it.”
“I clearly said you were junk.”
“You…” No matter how much his verbal skills improved, he could never beat An Zi Yan. Mai Ding was unwilling to accept it, but there was nothing he could do, so he returned to the subject. “What are you planning to do?” Only a few seconds after asking, he added, “Whatever you do, don’t become a writer. Look at all those horror movies. Writers always go somewhere deserted to look for inspiration, and then they either go insane or die horribly.”
“Thank you for your valuable advice,” An Zi Yan said sarcastically.
“You’re welcome. It’s only right that I help guide you along the road of life.” Mai Ding failed to hear the sarcasm and continued, “I’ve always wanted to contribute something to the motherland.”
“The greatest contribution you could make to the motherland would be disappearing from it.”
“Be serious. When I was little, I even wanted to become a police officer.” He remembered the essays he had written as a child. An Zi Yan glanced sideways at him expressionlessly. “Don’t drag down the country’s crime-solving rate.”
“Then a scientist.”
“Don’t drag down the country’s rate of scientific progress.”
“Then a teacher!”
“Don’t drag down the country’s standard of education.”
“Do I have even the tiniest bit of value in your eyes?”
An Zi Yan turned his head away. Mai Ding grew even angrier. “Answer me!”
They were already in their senior year, yet An Zi Yan had hardly changed. Neither had Mai Ding.
After class, Mai Ding rushed straight to the computer the moment they got home. Seniors could begin internships during the second half of the year, and since one of their classmates had found an internship that very day, Mai Ding had started getting anxious too. He browsed job sites, growing more disappointed the longer he looked. Almost every decent company wanted people with work experience and higher qualifications. Who would hire a complete beginner as an intern? Dejected, he walked into the living room and called out to An Zi Yan, who was half-reclined on the sofa reading. “My future is pitch-black.”
“Why are you telling me something I already know?”
“It’s because you keep jinxing me every day that I ended up like this.” Mai Ding pushed all the blame onto An Zi Yan.
“I’m only being kind enough to help you face reality.”
“I can’t afford your kindness.” Mai Ding dropped down beside An Zi Yan and continued wallowing in misery, shooting resentful looks at him from time to time. He really envied An Zi Yan’s relaxed attitude. Wasn’t he afraid of starving or ending up poor? Probably not. His rich parents were right behind him, waiting for him to live off them. Shameless. Of course, this was pure jealousy on Mai Ding’s part. Then he reconsidered. He and An Zi Yan were married, so An Zi Yan’s rich parents were his rich parents too. Truly, he was an excellent student.
Random thoughts aside, Mai Ding returned to worrying about employment. An Zi Yan moved his book away and looked at Mai Ding’s miserable face, then sat up and covered it with the book. “How about I pay you one yuan a day and you work for me?”
“I’ll pay you two yuan a day to sing my praises. How about that?!” Mai Ding shot back. An Zi Yan stopped teasing him. “What kind of work do you want?”
“Anything is fine, as long as it lets me shine and make myself useful.”
An Zi Yan really did not want to continue this conversation, but he still said, “Be more specific.”
“At this point, what kind of internship can I afford to be picky about? I want to build up some work experience before graduation and see what it’s like to enter society, then find a stable job after I graduate. But there don’t seem to be many internship positions for students right now.”
“You think jobs are takeout? You need one today, so it gets delivered to your door?” Mai Ding understood what An Zi Yan meant. He really was being too impatient. He was afraid he would not find work, and he thought about the future far too much to view life as freely as An Zi Yan did, because to Mai Ding, life was something to be taken seriously. Their differences in personality had always existed. That was only natural. Some people dreamed of finding someone exactly like themselves, but setting aside how unlikely that was, two identical people together would be tedious and boring. Two versions of yourself still amounted to only one person.
“But if I can’t find a job in the future, what are you going to do?” Mai Ding certainly talked big. He could not imagine what someone with An Zi Yan’s arbitrary, willful, childish personality could possibly do for work, so apparently it would fall to Mai Ding to support their household. An Zi Yan patted Mai Ding’s face. It was not the intimate gesture of a lover, but more like the interaction between a high-ranking figure and an underling in a gangster movie. “Aren’t you thinking a little too highly of yourself? You want to support me? Do you have any idea how expensive I am?” Mai Ding wanted to retort that An Zi Yan was shameless, but when he looked up at him, he wondered whether he ought to read a few more dictionaries. Mai Ding had already exhausted every word in his vocabulary trying to describe how good-looking he was. His lips tilted faintly, impossible to tell whether he was smiling or plotting something. Mai Ding’s hands rose before he could stop them, and without warning he wrapped his arms tightly around An Zi Yan. Love made people surrender far too easily. “Fine. You’re expensive.”
“What are you doing? Let go,” An Zi Yan scolded.