With such an exaggerated movement and such an obviously startled reaction, it would have been impossible not to attract attention. The moment Nalan Xuan came back to his senses, he wanted nothing more than to slap himself.
Feng Xuanyi assumed Nalan Xuan was still angry because of everything that had happened earlier that night, so he did not take offense. Instead, the cold severity in his expression softened noticeably. He reached out, pulled back the Nalan Xuan who had retreated far away, and held him firmly within his arms. His features relaxed like winter snow slowly melting beneath the warmth of spring, revealing a tenderness as gentle as flowers opening beneath the sun. Firm but careful, he avoided Nalan Xuan’s injured left shoulder and coaxed him with a faint smile. “Be good. Let Imperial Physician Liu have a look. If something is wrong, he can treat the problem before it gets worse.”
It was not that Nalan Xuan could not see the undisguised tenderness and indulgence in Feng Xuanyi’s eyes, nor could he fail to feel that warm, almost scorching gaze. But precisely because he could feel it so clearly, it frightened him all the more. Feng Xuanyi truly changed faces faster than one could turn a page. Even after witnessing it with his own eyes, Nalan Xuan still found it difficult to believe, and the thought sent a chill down his spine.
To Nalan Xuan, Feng Xuanyi’s tenderness had become a festering poison he could not scrape away quickly enough.
“No.” He pulled his hands free from Feng Xuanyi’s grasp and met that warm, burning gaze head-on, like ice colliding with flame, without yielding an inch.
The softened lines of Feng Xuanyi’s face stiffened again, the faint smile that had not yet disappeared seeming to freeze in place. Refusing to give up, he reached out once more and enclosed Nalan Xuan’s hands within his own. As expected, Nalan Xuan immediately struggled, but Feng Xuanyi maintained a firm hold without hurting him. On any ordinary day, he would long since have lost patience and added another offense to Nalan Xuan’s tally, yet tonight he displayed a rare persistence, his smile somehow still intact. “I know you have suffered a grievance. I know you are dissatisfied, and I know such a minor punishment cannot make up for what happened. But you cannot gamble with your own health because of it, can you? Imperial Physician Liu is highly skilled. Let him examine you, and then I can stop worrying.”
For Feng Xuanyi, those words already represented a considerable concession. Everyone in the deep palace understood the importance of knowing when enough was enough, and everyone knew how to use retreat as a means of advance. Nalan Xuan was perfectly capable of playing such games himself. But this time, that was not what he was doing. He had a reason he simply could not give in.
“No.”
That second refusal sent the atmosphere Feng Xuanyi had struggled to soften plunging back below freezing.
Imperial Physician Liu had already found himself a comparatively safe corner and was trembling there like a leaf. Xiao Dezi had no idea where he was supposed to look; he stood rigid as a wooden post, unable to leave, move, speak, or remain silent without feeling that something was wrong. Even Mo Yan, who normally wore the inscrutable expression of a man who understood everything, was now visibly stunned, staring at Nalan Xuan as though he could not comprehend what he had just heard.
“Imperial Physician Liu.” Feng Xuanyi did not look away from Nalan Xuan, but suddenly raised his voice.
“This subject is here.” Imperial Physician Liu immediately began sweating like rain and trembling like a sieve. Inwardly, he could only lament, If the two of you are having a lovers’ quarrel, why drag me into it? Naturally, such complaints could remain only in his heart. He dared to be angry, but certainly not to say so.
“Take his pulse.”
At Feng Xuanyi’s command, Imperial Physician Liu hurried forward and reached toward Nalan Xuan’s wrist. Nalan Xuan, however, still refused to give up and tried to dodge again.
Feng Xuanyi was already seething with pent-up anger and had nowhere to vent it. He had coaxed and reasoned with Nalan Xuan again and again, only to have every scrap of goodwill rejected. Nalan Xuan’s attempt to evade the physician finally pushed the conflict back to the edge of Feng Xuanyi’s self-control. His face turned cold and his brows drew together. “This is an imperial command. Do you dare defy it?!”
Defying an imperial command meant death. Having a physician discover that he, a man, was carrying a child might also mean death. Since both roads apparently led to the same end, Nalan Xuan froze for one fatal instant. Imperial Physician Liu seized the opportunity and caught his right wrist, fingers settling over the pulse point. Nalan Xuan cursed inwardly, Damn it, and tried desperately to pull his hand back, but Feng Xuanyi seemed capable of reading his mind and pinned his arm in place before he could move.
Heaven really means to kill me this time. Nalan Xuan sighed miserably to himself. Since there was no longer any hope of escaping, he simply resigned himself to his fate.
Sure enough, Imperial Physician Liu initially looked perfectly composed. Eyes closed, he took Nalan Xuan’s pulse while rhythmically stroking his graying goatee. Then, without warning, his entire body jerked as though struck by lightning. His eyes flew open, and he stared at Nalan Xuan as though seeing him for the first time, looking him up and down so thoroughly that he seemed to want to examine him inside and out. His disbelief was unmistakable, as were his shock and confusion. Nalan Xuan knew immediately that the physician had discovered something. A man becoming pregnant was unprecedented enough to qualify as a medical miracle bordering on fantasy. Yet after his initial shock, Imperial Physician Liu suddenly seemed to understand something and nodded thoughtfully, leaving Nalan Xuan, who had prepared himself for disaster, completely baffled. What kind of performance is this now?
“Congratulations, Your Majesty! A thousand congratulations! Young Master is with child. This is unmistakably a pregnancy pulse!”
The diagnosis was exactly what Nalan Xuan had expected, yet he did not feel the panic he had imagined. He did not even experience the sense of catastrophe that ought to accompany a secret being exposed. At a moment like this, he could not help marveling at Imperial Physician Liu. Compared with concerns about convention or propriety, the old physician seemed far more fascinated by the unprecedented medical wonder in front of him.
Nalan Xuan raised one brow slightly and glanced at Feng Xuanyi without making it obvious. Suddenly, he was intensely curious how the emperor of an entire nation would react to something so shocking and contrary to ordinary experience. Disgust? Astonishment? Disbelief? Fear? Or, like any ordinary man learning he was about to become a father for the first time—joy?
At the thought of that last possibility, Nalan Xuan almost laughed at himself. Even he had needed a long time to accept the fact when he first learned of it. How could he expect anyone else to take it calmly?
As with so many things before, however, Feng Xuanyi seemed born specifically to contradict Nalan Xuan’s expectations. The more something seemed impossible, unattainable, shocking, or contrary to convention, the more naturally Feng Xuanyi appeared to accept it. Even a man who ordinarily concealed every emotion could not hide his shock now—but the shock came from neither disgust nor fear. It was sheer delight, the kind inspired by an enormous blessing dropping unexpectedly from the heavens.
“Imperial—Imperial Physician Liu, what did you say? Is it true?!” Feng Xuanyi’s usual composure and inscrutability shattered instantly. At that moment he resembled an inexperienced young man, so excited he barely knew which way was north. He did not even notice Nalan Xuan’s meaningful, almost teasing look. Abruptly stepping forward, he seized Imperial Physician Liu’s elderly hands, his delight plainly written across his features, apparently forgetting altogether how extraordinary it was for Nalan Xuan, a man, to be pregnant.
As the person actually carrying the child, Nalan Xuan found being so thoroughly pushed aside rather unreasonable. He frowned inwardly and decided to remind the two men, who were both clearly too excited to think straight, of one rather important detail. “I am a man.”
He had expected the sentence to land like a depth charge. It did make both men fall silent, but it failed completely to produce the sobering effect Nalan Xuan had anticipated.
Imperial Physician Liu smiled warmly, like an affectionate father regarding an ignorant child. Stroking his goatee, he bowed and said with complete composure, “Young Master may not know this, but while bearing and raising children is ordinarily considered a woman’s role and something men do not do, that does not mean a man is absolutely incapable of it. In ancient times, there was a people known as the Changyu Clan, said to have received the blessing and protection of the gods. Within the clan, men and women were equal—truly equal. Its men possessed the strength and martial vigor ordinarily associated with men, yet also the softness and gentleness associated with women, including the ability to nurture life. Its women likewise possessed the tenderness of ordinary women while sharing the boldness and ambition of men. In war they could pacify a realm; in civil affairs they could govern a country.”
Elio’s Notes: The Changyu Clan was introduced in Chapter 65. Yelü Zhen previously explained that both male and female members of this rare bloodline possess the natural ability to nurture and bear children.