When Feng Xuanzhe returned from morning court to the study, Ning Xuan was already waiting inside. Although he could have dressed himself in fine silks and satins, he wore only a plain robe of sky-blue satin without a single ornament. Wide sleeves of light gauze, a jade belt at his waist—expensive, yet not extravagant. His indifferent brows and eyes, his indifferent expression, and the noble air that should never have belonged to someone of his status radiated from within him, making others unable to look directly at him, yet unable to look away. His smooth, long hair was bound high with a black jade hairpin veined in blood-red. It was something Feng Xuanzhe had obtained right after morning court, and before he had even had time to return, he had already sent someone to deliver it over.
“Very beautiful. It suits you, as expected.” Feng Xuanzhe had Ning Xuan rise, then reached out to stroke the single ornament in his hair.
“Thank you for Your Highness’s reward.” Ning Xuan was quiet, neither resisting nor showing any expression. He merely allowed that warm palm to brush over his temples and cheek. Lifting his eyes, he met Feng Xuanzhe’s flickering gaze, his pleasant baritone neither servile nor overbearing. “But how long can favor last when one serves others with beauty alone?”
“What exactly do you want? I have given you everything I can give you, and for what I cannot give you now, I have already promised that I will surely give it to you in the future.” Feng Xuanzhe withdrew his hand and once again studied the person before him. In the past, he had only been fixated on Ning Xuan’s beauty, the kind capable of toppling cities and kingdoms. Yet now, when he wanted to properly hear Ning Xuan’s thoughts and intentions, he suddenly discovered that this person was actually so difficult to fathom and grasp.
“Your Highness’s passing interest requires me to gamble everything I have. Perhaps in Your Highness’s eyes, everything people like us possess is not worth mentioning, not worth even a coin. I am merely a servant. There is nothing I cannot afford to lose, but I do not wish to become the most tragic kind.” Ning Xuan did not avoid Feng Xuanzhe’s probing, measuring gaze in the slightest. Each word he spoke was firm and forceful. “Does Your Highness know what the most tragic kind is?”
“To lose not only one’s person, but one’s heart as well. To be utterly defeated, and yet still be unable to break the cauldrons and sink the boats, unable to shatter jade and stone alike.” Ning Xuan smiled bleakly, his gaze bright and shimmering, brilliant as stars, making one’s heart ache and making one want to cherish him.
“So if Your Highness is only acting on a passing interest and only wants to play, then this servant can play with you. Whatever you want, this servant can give you. Even this body—what does it matter? From the moment I became a household servant of Prince Yi’s Residence, everything belonged to you. But if you want a sincere heart, then please forgive this servant for being unable to obey. Because this servant truly cannot understand what exactly I could use to obtain Your Highness’s true heart.”
“You are very clever. Too clever.” Feng Xuanzhe retreated to the fragrant sandalwood rocking chair and leaned back comfortably. His calm, unruffled tone revealed neither joy nor anger. “It is a pity about your birth. Otherwise, you would surely have had a better future.”
Was it a sigh, helplessness, or merely the prelude to a condition? “You want a bargaining chip. A bargaining chip that can put you on equal footing with me?”
“Yes.” To accompany a ruler was to accompany a tiger. By the side of such a person, where power and desire clashed, perhaps one could survive better by having no desires and asking for nothing. Such a naked demand for power was rare indeed, yet Ning Xuan answered so righteously and confidently.
“You may as well tell me.” Feng Xuanzhe raised a brow and lifted his hand, gesturing for Ning Xuan to sit.
“Power at court and across the realm can be divided into civil governance and military strength. In this servant’s humble opinion, Your Highness already holds victory within your grasp when it comes to civil governance at court. At the very least, you possess absolute influence there. But when it comes to military strength, you are comparatively much weaker. That is why you are so eager to win over Eighth Prince. That is also why you mistakenly believed Fifth Prince wanted to use me as a bargaining chip to win over Eighth Prince, and so you wished to seize the initiative first.”
“It seems Fifth Brother dotes on you very much. He tells you everything and lets you know quite a lot.” Feng Xuanzhe smiled without quite smiling.
“Your Highness overestimates me and is also overthinking things. There is no need for anyone to tell me these matters. As long as one observes carefully, as long as one wants to know, there is nothing that absolutely cannot be hidden. Ever since Your Highness went to Prince Rong’s Manor, one only had to look at Fifth Prince and Eighth Prince’s attitudes to know a thing or two. Why would anyone need to tell me each detail?”
“Then tell me, what do you intend to do regarding Eighth Brother?”
“This servant has no thoughts whatsoever regarding Eighth Prince. But this servant knows that watching others grow powerful and then trying every possible way to win them over is ultimately not the best strategy. A person’s heart is separated from yours by a layer of belly flesh. If someone is friendly with you now only because interests bring you together, then who can guarantee that one day, when you are unable to see it, interests will not scatter you apart and send him under someone else’s banner? By the time that day comes, the situation may truly be beyond saving, and it will be too late. Those who accomplish great things have always needed to firmly hold their own lifelines in their own hands, rather than relying on others’ loyalty. What is loyalty, after all? Can he truly dig out this so-called loyalty and show it to you?”
“Heh. I did not expect you to have such thoughts. You truly make me see you in a new light.” Feng Xuanzhe lifted the corners of his lips, but the smile did not reach his eyes.
“I know that after speaking today, it is either success or death. Since Your Highness once said you would promise me the position of empress, then I will believe Your Highness truly has feelings for me and is not merely acting on a passing interest. So today, I gamble everything, seeking a position where I can stand shoulder to shoulder with Your Highness, not merely rely blindly on you and seek shelter from you. Something like empress is nothing more than an empty title. If you are willing, anyone can become empress. Today’s empress can also become tomorrow’s commoner. Only by making Your Highness understand my importance, and by making Your Highness depend on me as well—even if, by that time, so-called love has been mixed with too many unavoidable factors of power—at least I can pretend not to know. At least I will not need to worry over gains and losses. At least I can comfort myself that I have a bargaining chip that will keep me from becoming fish on the chopping block.”
His knuckles tapped the armrest again and again. Feng Xuanzhe only smiled without speaking, while Ning Xuan remained calm, neither humble nor arrogant, as though those treasonous words had not come from his own mouth at all.
“I do not even trust my own brothers. On what basis should I trust you? If you truly gain power and turn against me, would that not make me even more miserable?” Feng Xuanzhe took a shallow sip of tea and smiled as though all was light as clouds and wind. He had clearly spent his whole life pursuing power, yet at this moment, it seemed like nothing more than a toy in his palm, something he could take or leave.
As though entirely unsurprised by Feng Xuanzhe’s doubt, or perhaps relieved instead after hearing his doubt, Ning Xuan lowered his brows and eyes, then once again knelt respectfully and bowed. “That is why I am gambling everything. It rests entirely on a single thought from Your Highness. Whether you believe me or not, whether I live or die, is all up to you.”
A long silence followed. Their shallow breathing echoed through the study, both clearly audible to each other. One had lowered brows and obedient eyes as he looked at the floor, while the other stared fixedly at that calm-faced person with a gaze like a torch.
“What harm would there be in allowing this round?” Suddenly, Feng Xuanzhe laughed aloud and swept his hand, telling Ning Xuan to rise.
Yet Ning Xuan was not as calm and unruffled as he appeared on the surface. His tightly clenched palms had dampened the sleeves of his inner robe with sweat. Only he himself knew how Feng Xuanzhe’s hearty laugh loosened his taut nerves, and how greatly relieved he felt. But that relief lasted only an instant before Ning Xuan broke out in cold sweat again.
“I know that everything you did today was for Fifth Brother.” Feng Xuanzhe seized Ning Xuan’s chin and abruptly pulled the distance between them close. Their eyes met. Feng Xuanzhe’s were sharp, while Ning Xuan’s flickered despite himself. “But I still grant it to you, because I know that in your heart, he will eventually become the past. Because only I can give you what you want.”
A kiss descended, but it stopped after the lightest taste, clean and unstained by the slightest hint of desire.
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